Still Strong #23 Mike D'Agostin

Intro: [0:01] I learned the hard way. Nothing's overnight. Some days you lose, some days you survive.

Mike D'Agostin: [0:13] Still

Keith Vance: [0:27] Michael Duggan, Welcome to the podcast, brother. Long time coming. Michael,

Keith Vance: [0:35] we're gonna get down to business here in a little bit. Before we do, I sell these hats and and sometimes I give them away. Sometimes I give them away. I've heard about these. Hey, brother. These are still strong. They're rich as one twelves. My kids tell me they're best. I

Mike D'Agostin: [0:53] think I have almost every single variation of this hat now. Do you? Because when I was making them, I would like, hey. Try this for a while. Brooke kept coming home with them, and she's like, my dad came down with new ones. She's like, I got two more for you. So I got, like, every variation of this thing. Which one's your favorite? Start framing them. This one's good. I like that. This one's the this is definitely the cleanest.

Keith Vance: [1:12] Yeah. Like anything else, everything else everything's a work in progress. Yeah. So I gotta start selling these things because We're in the hole. I'm a $100 in hole. You're in the hole. I told my wife I told my wife, we'll and we'll get to the store. I said, hey. I'm do this podcast. So she got behind me. And, the other day, she said, hey. I I was telling her, I was like, hey. You think I should keep doing this podcast thing? Like, is it really worth it? She's like, Keith, you're a $100 in the hole. She said, till I get my money back, you gotta keep going. I think I'd,

Mike D'Agostin: [1:45] I think I did the math, I think, in order for us to you said the hats or the shirts were 36? Both. Like, 35 or 36. Between hats and shirts, if you can if you could sell 28,000 of them, we'd be we'd be just just just breaking even. Hey. We could do that. 28,000

Keith Vance: [2:03] is not that bad. You wanna support me and my my family, stillstrong.com, buy a shirt. But you wanna buy two Yeah. Buy 28,000.

Mike D'Agostin: [2:11] Christmas Christmas is coming up. Right? Yeah. Six months.

Keith Vance: [2:16] Alright, brother. Let's get after it. Michael,

Keith Vance: [2:23] We're coming up you know, I looked at schedule. We're, like, three months booked out, so we're looking at July. July, our family takes some time off. We have a couple of month pockets. So I said, hey. It might be fun for you and I just have a conversation to keep the content going. People get to see what you look like behind the scenes and just have a story of how all this came to pass. Right? Right. So Karen and my Karen and I were celebrating our twenty nine year wedding anniversary.

Mike D'Agostin: [2:48] Congratulations.

Keith Vance: [2:49] We were July 27, we were just riding around, running errands and joined, being around each other, and we were reminiscing, the last twenty nine years together and, remembering the hard times, the struggle, the highs, lows, all of it. You know, I'm talking about each one of our kids, you know, the ones that got married and are are new additions to the family, being grandparents. And then she had said, you know, you're gonna be 50 here in January. What's that feel like to be 50? And I made a comment. I was like, you know what, baby? I might be almost 50, but I'm still strong. I flexed on her. And, we both kinda, like, looked at each other. I said, hey. That sounded really good. She's like, I'm already on it. Nobody owned the name so strong. So she bought it, did the whole legal zoom thing, owned it. She said, we're gonna use this for something. She said, we're gonna there's something here. We're gonna use this. And, so we're just digesting it. And, hey, let's do a let's do a a brand called Still Strong about my demographic. People are 50, you know, not what we used to be, but Still Strong, you know what I mean, for the ones we have to be. Right. And then also, we had just finished talking about our journey together, the adversity that we made it through. Our marriage is still strong. Still strong. Sometimes those things that test us and try us is what makes us strong. You don't get stronger by the easy part. I appreciate the easy parts. Mhmm. I appreciate the breaks, the rest, but the but you grow in adversity.

Keith Vance: [4:32] And I said, I think I wanna have a podcast that just brings people in from all demographics, all walks of life, and just share their story. And, you were the closest person that I knew that, has some technology background. What do you do for a living? For a living, I spray lawns, kill bugs.

Mike D'Agostin: [4:52] But I will say, like, I always make the joke to, like, friends and other family who ask about this as, I was like, you know, I I'm probably just middle of the road when it comes to the general millennial population as far as, like, knowledge of technology. But when you put me in with advances on Global Road, I feel like Elon Musk. Like, I can't tell you how many times I've fixed the technical problem by using Google.

Keith Vance: [5:18] Been like, I figured it out, guys. Because you like game and stuff. You like live streaming stuff also. Because I know you have, like, this computer and you like game and stuff, but, like yeah. Mike Yeah. I've I've had do this. Michael can handle this. I have a pretty my my entire life has been gaming.

Mike D'Agostin: [5:32] We don't have to get into it, but, like, as a kid, like, every other weekend at my dad's house, my dad always had, like, a started off with, like, Super Nintendo. So, like, starting from actually, it was, like, Atari onward. I've had everything. So, like, I've definitely been around technology my entire life being in that millennial generation. Like, we were we were there when technology was invented, but we were there when, like, boomed and, like, everything started coming. And so I've seen all the different variations of it. And, like, the most in-depth I've ever been is, like, like, streaming. So, like, I'm aware of how to generally use the camera. I've obviously these mics we're using these mics because I use this mic, not because I know it's a 100% the best. Most podcasts use it, but so I have my hands at least on some stuff. So when you called me, I I knew I think actually, I think Brooke told me that you and Karen were talking about it before, and I was like, I don't get to that phone call. I was like, I know he's gonna I was like I was like, I know he's gonna call me. Was like, I know your dad. I and, like, I got home from work one day and, like, hey. You got a second to talk? And I was like, oh, I was like, here it comes.

Keith Vance: [6:34] So this space that we're in Mhmm.

Keith Vance: [6:40] We converted the space to a podcast room. We put the soundproofing and stuff behind it and, you know, I think it looks pretty good. I told you well, first of all, say I'm gonna do a podcast. I told you what thought it was about. And you kinda, like, you didn't laugh, but but a laugh kinda came out. It kinda, like, kinda, like, a half laugh came out. And you said

Keith Vance: [7:05] he's, like, you know, you have to talk to people. Right?

Keith Vance: [7:09] And it kinda shook my confidence a little bit. Like, my own son-in-law, I don't think I can do it. Like, I had, like, shared this thing with you. Like, hey, man. I want I'm I got this vision. And you dream. And you laughed. You know, you gotta talk to people. Right? And you you shook me a little bit. I said, hey. We're we're building this room. Get me the all equipment I need. I said, I don't care how much it costs. I said, I don't want people to see me practicing. Get the best. I don't want to be top quality. And, bro, when I say get the best, I didn't realize what I don't know what

Mike D'Agostin: [7:42] That was your first mistake. Brooke will tell you, I love spending money. And then when you're on the phone, you're like, give me no no trying stuff out. No no dinky dunk, Mike. I want I want top shelf everything. And I was like, okay. I'll get you top shelf. I don't know how to use it, but we'll get it. Then the bills started coming in. I'm like I'm like, I wonder how oh, I'm like, well, it's too late now. I think we burned through, like, 36 k in, like, a blink of an eye just before we even pushed record. That's not the average podcast experience for those of you at home who wanna try this, but it's one way to start.

Keith Vance: [8:18] So let's just let's just, like, start a beginning the beginning and walk through it. So when I we'll start with there. When I called you, hey, man. Hey, Mike. You got a minute? What was going through your head?

Mike D'Agostin: [8:28] Well, as I said, I already had an idea of what you were gonna call about because my wife had prepared me. Obviously, you and I had worked in the past when, you had me doing your estimating for your construction company. Even that even that that program they still use Yeah. You built that program. Yeah. So, like, I wouldn't even again, I I appreciate the comp. I wouldn't call it a program. It's it's Microsoft Excel. I just took Microsoft Excel and tooled it into a self working estimating program that would work for you that's free because you already had Excel. Mhmm.

Mike D'Agostin: [9:06] Then that's that's almost a completely different podcast, that whole journey. But yeah. So, like, that's the other part of it is I had worked with you. I'd obviously that's probably where you got some of your trust in me is when I built that thing in it. I mean, you still use it now, so you know it worked. And, so I think that gave you some confidence. But I the reason I bring it up is because I had worked with you. And so I was pretty experienced in your communication skills over what I thought they were. And I I listened to a lot of podcasts, I was like, that's why it wasn't a joke. I was just like, Keith, man, you got it's long form. It's not it's not a five minute conversation. We've had plenty of conversation. We've had funny conversations. We've had serious conversations. We butted heads. I know you can talk. I was just like, you know, podcast, two to three hour conversation with one person on generally one topic. And I was like, I I'll never tell you. You I've seen I know your history. I know what you've done. I'll never tell you you can't do something, but I was like, this would be interesting. I almost wanted in just because of how interesting the journey would be. I actually like, it was gonna burn down in flames after the first episode, was like, I just wanna be there. I just wanna be I just wanna be involved somehow. I don't wanna be on the sideline for it, so I'll just sit down in the I'll sit down in the producer seat. I don't care. I was fairly confident that we'd be able to put it together. I was fairly confident that we would at least have something. I've seen I see successful podcasts that, like I don't wanna, like, bad quality, but, like, I've seen successful podcasts that you could run off a phone. So, like, I knew we I knew we could do it. We could I just I was like, well, we'll see. I was like, does Keith have an endless supply of people to talk to? Does Keith have the patience? I hadn't seen that side of you yet, so I was doubtful. But like I had told you, regardless if it was gonna be super successful or burn down the flames, I just wanted to be a part of it. I was excited to walk down that road.

Keith Vance: [11:01] So hold on a minute. When you said that, am I gonna be patient? And you're right. That's a that's a valid point. Mhmm. Because when I'm working

Mike D'Agostin: [11:10] when I'm working, I'm not patient. Well, I think that's the main all of my you guys are obviously, like, forty minutes away. So when I had first started dating her, the only time I saw you was when we were dating, and I would go to Dunkin' Donuts to meet you. We'd talk for, I don't know, twenty minutes, sometimes an hour.

Mike D'Agostin: [11:30] Other than that, everything all my interaction with you was work. Work. It was always work. It always on the clock. It was work. It was very rarely I mean, obviously, the holidays. But, like so for me, the version of you that I got was the one that's like, this needs to get done. Why isn't it done? How are we getting it done? Blah blah blah blah. And it was just, like, not impatient, but, like, I just didn't see

Keith Vance: [11:53] or have the communication with you that was just, like, back and forth playing the game. Because when we're working like I said, I'm Bill. When we're working, words are a waste of time. Yeah. Like, why we've been talking about this? We should we just should be done all the putting Fans Brothers Construction Keith in that seat, and I was like And fair. I was like, okay. Fair. And we we can get there, but this is like, just sitting over here having conversations and having you in the room has been therapeutic for me. We're gonna get there, but I don't I don't wanna get there yet. So granted. Alright. So Keith's gonna have a podcast, and, I I limit my words when I'm working because too many words are getting them in the way of progress. It's fair it's fair statement. Yeah. It's fair statement.

Mike D'Agostin: [12:35] Yeah. So the patience thing was for me, I was like, I hadn't seen it, so we'll see if he's got it.

Mike D'Agostin: [12:43] As far as, like, the guests, I know I knew that you the one thing I was confident about was that you are a very personable per like, I've seen you become friendly with a Bob Evans waitress in Georgia in the mountains that you've never met before, and within five minutes, you're cracking jokes. And I was like, I knew you had that side of your personality. I just never separated. Like, that's that Keith that we get when we go on Christmas vacation, that's not working, Keith. Like, when we show up to North Carolina this past year, that's not fan Keith's off the clock. So, like, that that Keith, that's, like, making jokes with the waitresses or running into the strangers and having in-depth conversations about them. That's a separate Keith than when I was sitting down in that chair with you doing estimating, and we were banging heads. And I was like, this guy can't talk to anybody for two hours. So I I never separated that. And, like, looking back now, I probably should've just seen that that was gonna because I'll never forget that after that first podcast episode. That one probably affected me the most just because it was the first one, and I wasn't expecting I wasn't expecting the Steve Brady podcast to to go that smoothly. I think the roughest part of the podcast was on my end. It was just all the all the hiccups with all the gear. Let's talk about that. So

Keith Vance: [14:03] we we can talk about we can there's no form of errors. Let's talk I mean, you mentioned it. Let's talk about Steve Brady.

Keith Vance: [14:11] Out there at my property in Lewiston, this cop rolls up, become friends, and, find out he was, you know, SWAT. And when I decided to do the podcast, I literally went through my phone. Who inspires me? I just made a list. I just made a list of people who inspire me. They're like, I hope I know enough people. And, Steve Brady, I remember you and I were anxious about it because we're gonna do we're gonna put out New Year's Day. Right? Oh, yeah. Yeah. So we were in were we in Tennessee or North Carolina for Christmas?

Mike D'Agostin: [14:41] This past Christmas? We were in North Carolina. We're in North Carolina,

Keith Vance: [14:45] and we were both anxious and nervous about it coming out. Remember?

Mike D'Agostin: [14:49] We I'm not saying you weren't. We is a strong term because I was dude, I Religion. Think this is probably the most Put me there. The the when you first called, and when do a podcast, my head works in ways like, I get anxiety really bad about stuff. The way my head the way my brain compartmentalizes it is, like, he's talking about the podcast today. Podcast isn't gonna be for six months. Don't gotta worry about it. It's fine. You don't gotta be anxious about it in six months. And then the next five months, it's four months. The next thing you know, we're in North Carolina. We got all our ducks in a row. Like like, I I my heart, man. That that Steve Brady podcast, I had come over here. I think we had only come over here. I envisioned us doing a full long form test run that we never did. I talked to you about it, like, five to I was so angry. I was like told Brooke I'd go home and be like I was like, he's just, like, jamming this thing down the pipeline. I was like, I've told him. I was like, I've called him. I told him I want a long form test run. We're not gonna publish it. I was like, I wanna make sure that I'm not stupid and that this stuff works. And, like, our test run, like, maybe one day we'll put it out there on a Patreon. Our test run was like Austin sat in this seat. I don't think we've ever brought up Austin on the podcast, but that his his daughter his other son-in-law. Austin sat down here for, like, five minutes. And, like, I don't know. I was like, yep. For five minutes, I could hear Austin. I don't know if he's gonna be talking for two hours. Thomas is my favorite test run. Thomas here. Let me let me read told him to me redo the Thomas. Thomas told you he didn't wanna do it. You didn't even warn him. You're like, hey, Thomas. Come in here. I need you. Thomas comes in this room, and you're like, go ahead. Sit down. We're gonna have a conversation. And Thomas told you no. And you go, just sit down. Mike, record. Hey, Thomas. What do do for a living? Sell dumpsters. And I was sitting in that chair, I was like, Keith. I was like, this is not what I asked for. I was like, I asked you for a two hour,

Keith Vance: [16:48] but so, like, that's all the prep before Steve Brady. Listen. Listen. In my mind, if you you brought it up, in my mind, we're just checking audio for you. Why do we gotta talk for two hours if the audio is working for five minutes? It's gonna work for two hours. And two, bro, I don't wanna waste my words. Like, I I don't need like, I don't wanna waste my my my content. You know mean? I don't wanna waste it on practice. I wanna do it for real. I don't like practicing.

Mike D'Agostin: [17:12] If we're gonna do it, let's rock and roll and do it for real. Where my head was is when you first told me and you're you had already mentioned it, but you said you said go top shelf and everything. I don't want I want this the first episode to be professional quality. In my head, I go, you say that, and I purchased professional these mics, these these these cameras, the the computer, like, it's all professional quality. I was like, if we don't freaking sit your butt down and talk for two hours so I can then listen to this thing, I was like, we can have all this equipment, and it sound like garbage. Because, like, my background was streaming and these mics. The most infuriating thing in the entire world is audio. I don't know if that's everyone's general experience with this type of stuff. I am very inexperienced when it comes to the podcast community, but, like, audio is a living nightmare for me. And I, six podcasts in, wasn't sure if we'd ever figure it out. And so, like, the audio was the main thing for me. I wasn't really that concerned about the cameras. The cameras are pretty simple. But the audio, was like, give me two hours because, like, something could sound good for two minutes. Oh. And then all of a sudden but but what you don't pick up is, like, maybe every three minutes. Like, if there's a crackle, there's some feedback from you have, you know, a cheap XLR cable, the connection or the interface that you're using. For us, our problem was the interface. But I don't ever was watching for that Steve Brady episode because if you remember, Steve Brady episode one, that podcast for what I was working with is almost flawless audio wise too. These were hooked up wrong. If you remember, I had them hooked up backwards. Everything was hooked up wrong. And for the most part, that that podcast quality wise is pretty similar to what we're currently putting out. And I've said it to you in private, but, like, I do feel bad for guests two through five Yeah. Because, like, I that that was the learning curve, which is what I was trying to avoid. When you told me you wanted this thing to start off professional, I I was afraid because I was like, if we just launched this with a five minute test run, then I'm gonna waste episodes. And I don't wanna say waste as in, like, that person because, like, those episodes are still there. They're still up. You can still listen to them, and there's nothing, like, whore I think the worst issue we ran into is on poor Marcus' episode. Like, the audio was way too quiet, and it's one of the only negative comments we had. Someone was like, I can't hear it, and I had to reupload it. Yeah. It is adjusted now. So if you guys are listening Yeah. And by the way, poor Marcus, you know, we we put it up. I forget how many views he had, and then we Uh-huh. The quality the sound quality was so bad. We took it down and then put it back up. So the views that he had, he lost. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. If you if you go through that list of, like, interactions and views and stuff like that, it's like, here, here, here, here, here, here, like, it's Marcus, and it's literally the episode right before we replaced the interface. We talk I talked to a couple of people, and then we started cranking them out. But, like, I'll I like, that's what I was trying to avoid. That's what I was terrified of. I don't know how it didn't happen on Steve's. Steve, like I said, God was watching. God was in that chair over there because, like, that episode somehow like, I'll never forget, we wrapped. And you're like, does it sound good? And I was like, I don't know. I hope so. And, like, I just I I remember I opened up the file that I had just saved and just, like, randomly skipped, like, an hour and thirty in, and I was just, like, listening for, like, forty seconds. And I was like, sound good to me. Good. And I think that was it. And, like, I went home and edited it, and we we pushed it out. And it's obviously evolved since then. I think Carrie Mitchell is the first one where we had everything that we have currently. Like, Carrie Mitchell is, like, where I view the launch where it's, like, everything from then on out. I was like because, like, episode one through five, man, I, like, I I had a monkey on my shoulder every time I came to this room. Oh, like I said, I do deal with real bad anxiety because I don't not like that I'm gonna let myself down. I just hate letting other people down. And so, again, like, I knew this was your thing and, like, you were counting on me, which is like that's also why I said yes is because I'd like not that I like to be needed, but it feels good for someone to be like, I really think I need your help on this. And I'm like, yeah. You know what? I do mess with technology. I do know some of this. It feels good. And I, like, always I wanna do something that I feel like gives us like, makes me feel like I I have value. It's got your name on it. Yeah. And so it's like, yeah, episode one through five, man. Was just, like, losing hair. I don't got that much left. So it's like, I'm like, dog dog, this is gonna sound so bad. And, like and then I kept getting a little

Keith Vance: [21:42] the audio things. Episode one through five, Steve Brady. Yes. Bro, it went over Captains. It went over great. It went over great. Mhmm. Even Steve, we were all feeling the anxiety. Steve Steve never been on a podcast before. I sent him this list of things. Hey. I sent him a list. I said, hey. Here's some stuff we might talk about, but we might not too. So he's trying to memorize it, he's feeling he's feeling, like, overwhelmed. And he finally just said, you know what? I'm just gonna have a conversation. And we sat out there, and we we prayed, and that's one thing we do, like, consistently. God, we're gonna walk into this thing. We really don't have a format where, like, I'll text you some ideas of stuff we might talk about, but I don't wanna be so Right. Locked in that we just have to stick with it and have to memorize it. Kinda feel like you lose some authenticity. And, I mean, Steve Burrow, we just he and just start vibing, and we we we we crushed it. I felt like I still that thing's still getting used today. And, so let's talk about one through five. There's there's episode one. We're all feeling anxious. Steve, poor guy being the first one. Episode two was Adele. Adele Smith. Poor Adele. Bro, I'm glad she lives close by. Poor Adele. 80 year old lady. She gets here on time. Well, for one, it was raining. She comes down. She talks about my bumpy road. Your road is bumpy. We sit down, and, what happened, Michael?

Mike D'Agostin: [23:13] Some stuff slipped my mind. Forgot some some equipment.

Mike D'Agostin: [23:19] I

Keith Vance: [23:22] I had to send that poor lady home.

Mike D'Agostin: [23:25] I don't think anything else on this podcast has ever happened that I've felt worse for than poor that was the first time I've ever met her. Like, Brooke has talked about her. And, bro, she's sweet old lady. She was a sweet She's the definition of, like, everyone loves this woman. There's if you find somebody who doesn't like this woman, there's something wrong with that person. And, like, I'll never forget you being like, hey, Adele. What else you got going on today? And she's like, well, I gotta, you know, go check on the horses and let the horses, like she's like, I I I can come back. And I was like, I I when I got in my truck to leave back go back to to leave and come back, I just wanted to drive into a tree. I was like, this that'd be way better than coming back here. I was like, I'm gonna come back here, and I'm gonna feel Keith's eyes burning into the back of my skull. Because, like, the only other time anything like that's happened is actually recently, unfortunately, when I when the card We're gonna talk about it. Yeah. I'm sure we will. We've already talked about We've already talked about it on that podcast. But luckily, like you said, man, that she was able she was willing to just, like, take off, come back.

Mike D'Agostin: [24:36] And we were able to knock that one out too. And, again, we were still dealing since it was in that one to five gap, we were still dealing with audio issues. We're having audio issues with her. One of ours wasn't working. It's like some kind of crackle we couldn't figure out. And I was like, Adele,

Keith Vance: [24:49] I don't know how long it's gonna take. Can you just you got something to do for a few hours, and I'll I'll call you. And she graciously came back, and we we got it done. Poor girl. And but I felt bad for you. And and here's the thing. Well, that time also, if you remember, it was the audio thing, but also

Mike D'Agostin: [25:05] I got the audio thing fixed, and she came back. And when she came back and sat down and I went to go hit, the cameras went down. Like, the camera malfunctioned. And and I was like, I Keith, when I tell you the reason I think that was the worst thing that's ever happened is because is because of the comeback. When she came back and I was like I was like, alright, Michael. I was like, you're alive. I was like, he hasn't killed you yet. I was like, the audio is good now. Good job. You did it. Fist bump myself. And she sits down and the cameras go down, and I'm sitting there, and I was like, I didn't even wanna look at you. Like, she's sitting there, and there's you sweet old lady sitting there with her pillow and her chair. And she's like, okay. I already rearranged my whole day. And, like, I'm sitting there with I'm hunched over in my chair, and I, like, have to be like, Keith, hold on one second. And, like, I I like, bro, I'm not kidding. My my skeleton was trying to get out of my body. Like, I don't think we've ever had a day that bad ever again where I've I've just everything. Everything. I remember talking to you afterwards and being like, you know, like, maybe this maybe somebody doesn't want us doing this podcast, man, because it's crazy how unlucky this day has been. It it never got that bad again. But You know what's funny is that podcast,

Keith Vance: [26:21] because it was so stressful for us, I felt like it was a failure. Yeah. But I got I got a lot of phone calls and texts about that podcast. Like, it it it hit people. And I was thinking, man, we just buff we just messed this one up. But it it got out, and, it helps some people. So sometimes You me too. Sometimes you just gotta get through it. Yeah. Because that, like, that that you know, I forgot

Mike D'Agostin: [26:46] I I forgot my extra, like, you know, backup XLR cables for in case because I I knew when I set this thing up, like, whatever we buy, we need to have stuff that's in the cabinet over there that because this stuff's not gonna work forever, and who knows what's gonna happen. Didn't remember the replace the the good replacement XLR cable. So then I'm kinda stuck. And I'm like, well, I have go buy XLR cables. Gotta make these ones work. Gotta rehook them up, unhook them, hook them back up. So I forgot all that stuff. For the most part, because of that disaster, everything's in that cabinet. I have backups on everything. Yeah. Like I said, it's only ever happened one more time where I had forgotten something. I wasn't even forgetting that I had the freaking adapter, and the thing fell out of it. But now we have a replacement. We have a replacement for everything now at this point. That's perfect. Adele podcast, like, think I it probably did more help for me than anybody else because that was, like, I was I was on fire, bro. I was burning down in flames. And I was like, oh, Keith is gonna hire somebody to replace me. Now I'm out. But yeah. So that was one and two.

Keith Vance: [27:43] Oh, you you kinda mentioned it about the little thing, but pastor Gold listen, bro. Well, of course, was him too. Hey.

Mike D'Agostin: [27:52] Pastor. I know. Know.

Keith Vance: [27:54] My pastor, he comes here. He sits down with his bible. He's already to, like, game.

Mike D'Agostin: [28:01] He's already to hammer down. He had his tablet, your tablet.

Keith Vance: [28:05] And you're like, well, you tell him. Just you tell him. So

Mike D'Agostin: [28:12] I'm not gonna get into the weeds about our technology, but, we have an audio interface that records separately from our video. So just layman's terms, our our cameras record the video. We have a separate interface that records the audio. I then pair them together on our software. With the audio interface, it takes one of those little micro SD cards. Micro SD card would fit into a regular SD card so that I can then take it and put it onto my computer so I can pair up the audios. However, that means it's two separate parts. The micro can come out of the adapter. And, unfortunately, I did not realize until I was at your house and pastor Gold was in this chair comfortable that the micro SD card had come out of the adapter, and I was sitting here with a empty adapter and no way to record any audio. And my first thought was like because I again, I don't I just don't wanna just like, this is your thing, and I was like, don't wanna be the reason. It sucks. And so my first thought, was like, Karen is my lifeline. I felt like I was on, like, who wants to be a millionaire? Phone with Karen. And I was like I called her. I like I like I was like, one sec, guys. I gotta go to the bathroom. Walked out and called Karen. And I was like, Karen. I was like, I know you got cameras. Please tell me there's a micro SD card. And, like, Karen, bless that woman's heart. Like, whatever she's doing, it doesn't matter. She could hear the, like, sweat on my brow when I was on the phone, and she came running into that office over there. And she her and I were, like, rifling through drawers. The only thing with Karen is, like, she's very she got something drawers on drawers. So we're like, where are they sitting there? And I'm telling her I go I go, yeah. He's gonna kill me. I was like I was like, he's gonna he's gonna skin me alive. I was like I was like, I'm dead. I'm dead. I I stopped looking because I just knew. I just knew that if you guys had them, we're never finding them. And I look at her. I go, what's the nearest store? I was like, because I don't wanna drive to Best Buy. I was like, what's the nearest store? Please tell me you got something. And she's like, Walgreens is right around the corner. And I was like I was like, we so I came in here. Oh, that that's what she had said before, though. She goes she goes, just go back in there. She goes, I'll go get it. Send me a picture of what you need. And I go, I'm not sitting in that room. I was like, while you go drive to, like, have Keith just, like, staring at me. As I and, like, so I I was like, I looked at her. I go, I'm just gonna have tell him. I was like, he's gonna hate me. I was like, mom, I'm go tell him. I I was like, I came in here. So, Keith? I was like, the micro SD card fell out of the adapter, so I have no way to and I was like, Walgreens might have one. And the like, I in my head, I'm like, you have so many guests. We're like, what? This is like, we're like 21, 22 deep. You have so many guests that that could have happened to. And I would not that I wouldn't have felt bad, but I would have been like, they'll be fine. They'll be fine. There are plenty of guests. You had you have had family on this podcast. And, like, the two times is the sweetest old lady I've ever seen in my entire life and then pastor Gold. It was the first time I ever met him in person. I've been to the service, but, like, this is the first time I've met him. So his first introduction to me is I'm this caveman who's trying to put, like, bang stones together on this technology. And I'm like, sorry, Keith. I forgot the thing that makes it all work. The one piece that makes it work. And so, like, I I'll never forget. I told you. I was like I was like, I'm gonna run to Walgreens. I was like, I'm gonna get it. And I didn't know if it was there. I was like, I'm gonna I'm gonna get it. And as I'm my back's turned. And as I'm walking out, I just hear you go, well, that's embarrassing. And I'm like, I got in my truck, man. When I tell you that your dirt road was a cloud of dust, I, like, I, like, Tokyo drifted off on the cemetery. I was I was gone. And then, like, I got to Walgreens, and I'm, like, sweating. I'm nervous. I'm, like, panicking. I walk into Walgreens. I find I'd never been to your Walgreens, so had no idea where the camera section was. I find some guy, and I'm like, you gotta tell I was like, you guys have SD cards? And he's like he said, oh, SD cards. He's like, yeah. You might be in luck. And he shows me. And he had they have this, like, one of you know those, like, spindle? Like, he's got one of these things that has, like, general, like, adapters and memory cards. And out of this entire spindle, there was one micro SD card. Everything else is a regular SD card. No adapters, no, like, memory sticks, USBs, and one one little tiny package that has one micro SD card. And I was just like, thank you, god. That thing could have been a thousand dollars. Oh, I didn't I ask that. Would have been a 100,001

Keith Vance: [32:30] and $101,000

Mike D'Agostin: [32:31] in debt, but it would have okay. Yeah. Alright, dude. I did not care. And I know it wasn't my money. That's horrible to say, but I saw that micro SD card. That thing might as well have been gold. I'm like, what? And I was like, yep. I was like, I'll take this right now. I was like, he's like, alright. Well, I can I was like, I'll I'll buy it? And it's like just down the road, came in here, sweating, and I was like, I got it. I got it, guys. And, like, you just looked at me and you're like, let's get a backup one of those. And I was like, yes, sir. I'll get a backup one.

Keith Vance: [32:56] So when so when you were gone I don't know how long you're gone for. What whatever time it was, it was the longest time. Oh, man. I felt so bad. Because I told him, you know, we're sitting here just kinda, like, looking at each other and, like I'm like, he feels really bad right now. I said, he he probably wants to drive into a tree right now. Yep.

Mike D'Agostin: [33:23] And he's like the same tree as Adele. I was like, man, that might be it. One of these days. Not today. He's like, well, he's like, I'm just glad it's me and not someone else. And,

Keith Vance: [33:32] we actually had a good conversation while you were

Mike D'Agostin: [33:36] where you're going. Like, we it was it was You had told me when we first sat down because, again, I I clocked myself. From the time I left that door and came back, it was ten minutes, which is honestly pretty crazy like, where that place is. Don't tell Dave Foraker that because I know. I know he's gonna be looking for me for now. Major 100 yes. Like, you're a 100 plus. I drive a a dark blue Silverado High Country.

Mike D'Agostin: [33:59] No. It was it was ten minutes. And, like, when I got here, I'm just like, I didn't again, I didn't wanna I was so embarrassed. I didn't wanna look at him. Didn't wanna I was just like, alright, guys. Got it. Plugged it in. Was like, hey. Whenever you guys are ready. And, like, you you you're like, hey. Like, I know you're feeling it. You're like, just calm down. It's fine. We're all here. And I was just like, dude, because I again, I hate disappointing people. Like, if you're gonna like, I've always been like, if you're gonna agree to do something, do it. Sit down. Do it. Don't do it half butt. Do it full butt. Just do it. Like, you you've made somebody an agreement, a promise, whatever it is, go do the job. And so, like, when I get to sit down and it's like, oh, my one job was to bring the tiny little stick and, like, you you didn't check to see if it was in that bigger stick, and it's like, I feel so dumb. But that was a great podcast too. That works out. I think that, honestly, other than those two crazy snafus, anything else that's gone wrong has been, like, I'm not gonna take complete credit for it. It's been technology issues that, again, I'm learning on the job. I'm still got stuff to learn. I still got stuff I can get better at. But, yeah, I I for I'm gonna be honest with you. With zero experience between the two of us, you know, 20 episodes in for that to be the worst of the worst that's ever happened, I don't know. I listened to Joe Rogan podcast, and there's been plenty of times where, like, the audio crashes all three times in one podcast. So I think at the end of the day, I'll take I'll take two two accidents in the first 20 episodes. I thought it would be way worse than that. So

Keith Vance: [35:35] We'll just kinda, like if something comes to mind, we'll talk about it. But

Keith Vance: [35:45] I have someone sitting in that chair,

Keith Vance: [35:50] and that person and I are communicating back and forth.

Keith Vance: [35:56] And you're sitting over there flipping the cameras back and forth and, like, doing your thing, make sure it's good. But it's going into you, but it's not coming out of you. You understand what I'm saying? Mhmm. This person says something, it comes into me, I feel it, and then I'm able to communicate something else. So there's this back there's this back and forth that's therapeutic. It's iron sharpening iron. It's it's it's healthy. And then there's you sitting over there, and it's only going in. So can you just explain to me how it feels to sit over there when, you know, when we talk about stuff that relates to you, when we talk about stuff about fathers, when we talk about thing, you know, our dads, and to sit there and digest it. So let's just let's talk about that. Let's talk about yeah. I said enough. How's that feel?

Mike D'Agostin: [36:48] So I'm sure that experience is on this plenty of producers out there, but I'm sure it's different depending on the personality type. I'm a very social person. So, like, if you're sitting here with one of the guests and this has happened, I don't I can't really think of this a very specific thing. If, like, somebody sitting here and you're talking to them and they communicate something to you. Like, in that moment, you're not processing it, but I did. It is so hard for me. I have to, like, turn my mic on and be like, Keith, what he was trying to say is but, like, that like so that that's I don't even wanna say if it's hard, but, like, what you're describing is, like, this information comes in and then it just gets, like, crammed in there. And then over the course of two and a half hours, I'm, like, full of, the emotion from the podcast. My own my own commentary that I would like, if I was sitting in that chair that I would say because, like, you and I aren't the same part. We obviously know that. So, like, your commentary, your response to one topic, it might be completely different than my response would be. And it's like I'm sitting there, and I'm like, man, I really like to hear what he would say with my response. It's not it's not necessarily hard. I'm I'm so focused on, like, listening to the audio, making I have PTSD on audio. Don't like the word audio. But, like, I'm so focused on, like, what does Keith sound like? What does the guest sound like? Are the mics clipping? Is there any feedback coming through? Is the videos are they are they good? That, like, I'm it's not that bad. It's the podcast where, like, when they it's impossible for me to not feel the emotion. Because, like, some of our guests have, like, talked about things, and it's like, get so caught I mean, there's bad moments I was so caught up in what was being talked about. Like, you've mentioned off camera with me, but, like, you know, you'll be talking, the camera's stuck on the guest. And, like and it's because, like, I'm just lost. I'm just, like, sitting in, like so, like, that happens. My inability to, like, communicate in real time, it's been, like, it's been, at some points, difficult, but, like, I don't know. It's I'm so focused on what I'm doing in that chair. Do you go home and talk to Brooke, say, hey. This is podcast is about. Do you Yeah. Do you get it out? Yeah. I I communicate with Brooke. I mean, there's been times where I'll communicate with Josiah throughout the week, like, because, like, him and I talk. My my I call my younger brother down here in Florida, Jimmy. I call him every day. I talk to him every day when we're at work. We both have the same job at different companies. So we had, like you know, I'm out there in the field with by myself. I'll just call him on my AirPods, and I'll talk to him about it. I I talk through a lot of it. I don't just, like, pile it up and then forget about it because, like, I again, I'm a social creature. If something happens, I wanna, like, talk about it, hear somebody's feedback on it. But, yeah, I talk to Brooke when I get home. I call Jimmy throughout the week. So, like, I I talk about this. I mean, sometimes I after the podcast, you and I sit down. If something crazy happened or it's, a super emotional one or just, like, I don't have to get my haircut right after. Like, I'll just hang out and you and I have conversation. And that, most of the time when you and I have a conversation about it, I I I don't Brooke will have to be like, so what what happened? Because, like, I've already I've already, like, talked about it, I've already exercised it out. And I'm like I'm like, oh, you know, so and so, and this is what we talked about. This was kind of a funny thing. Every once in a while when I'm editing the podcast, I'll I'll tell Brooke to come in. And, like, while I'm making a clip, I'll make her watch the clip or listen to the clip or get her feedback.

Keith Vance: [40:05] But I know. I have my avenues. I know one time because I think she texted me and said, hey. Maybe she texted me or my wife. Oh, her dad dropped the f bomb on the podcast. That was a big one. You may have listened to that one. Yeah. Sometimes because I I did notice, like, I don't know how many podcasts deeper in it, but I noticed that when it was over, you wanted to talk. Yep. You want like, you wanna you're it was relatable and you're talking it out. One of them where I didn't

Mike D'Agostin: [40:34] oh, because it's recent. It's top of mind. Podcast just got dropped two days ago. Pastor Gold.

Mike D'Agostin: [40:42] When he's talking about and you I made a clip of it, and you already pushed the clip out. When he's talking about his father and how his dad was a quantity over qual or I'm sorry. Yeah. Quantity over quality guy. It's probably I think what I did say to him after the podcast is that's my favorite clip that we've ever had, and I hadn't even made it yet. Because while he was telling that part of his story with his relationship and his dad and how he was like, you know, we had two of us playing football for different colleges, and somehow the guy Denver missed a game. I'd like as he's telling that story, I'm like I I'm like it's my I'm, like, picturing my dad. And, obviously, thank god my dad's still here, but, like, I'm picturing my dad. My dad was at everything. My dad never missed a single thing. Right? I don't remember my parents being married. They were both the fur I I'm bad at remembering things, but, like, my earliest memories of my step parents were already in the picture. But, like, my dad, it didn't matter what was going on. It didn't matter how hectic work was. If I had a basketball game, I could look up, and he would be there, smile on his face. He would crack a joke. He's like, one of his forms of love was, like, my dad would just, like, crack on me. He would just be like, you know, like, who taught you to shoot like that? He's like, you know, like, he didn't and I always knew it was love, but, like, my dad was always in the moment. He was at everything, and it was just, like, it was just always there. I only my sister and I, the parental agreement was every other weekend with him, and yet, I felt like he was always there. Wow. That's lot. And, like, my mom my mom also oh, yeah. My step parents also, all of them. I did I don't deserve the the group of parents that I I raised by. But, like, when he talked about his dad, I was like, man, I was like, that I was like, that's my dad. And so, like, that's what I wanted to talk to him about. Like, what I really wanted to say was just like, you know, thank god for your dad because, like, I know exactly what that feels like. I know exactly what that feels like to, like, grow up. I've almost always grown up in the shadow where it's like, I'm never gonna be him. Like, I like, my dad's shadow's way too big. Like, those shoes are huge. And, like, I judge myself a lot with Alexis, like, based off of that. And, like, it's not it's not really necessarily fair to me because I'm not the same person. Like, I look like him. I talk like him. That's all, like, surface level stuff. Sure. I didn't have his childhood. Like, he did not have a good dad. Oh. And I see that a lot when you see somebody who has, like, a a rough father son relationship turn out to be a fantastic you can go one or two ways. Sure. You can choose one of those two forks and, like, you know, my dad chose the one where he's like, well, I have that, and that's not what I wanna do. So if I ever become a dad, he's like, I know what not to do. And so it's like, I didn't I had I had a perfect dad. Like, I I I there's not one my parents, I don't have one complaint about any of them. Wow. All four. Not one single complaint all the way through. I like, I hear people like, I'm this podcast man. Like, you get people in here and they talk about I know, bro. They talk about their childhood and, like, it breaks my heart because I'm like, I why did I deserve? Like, I because, like, it's not that I can't relate because I can, like, put my head in a space after hearing their story what they were feeling. I feel that you see me. I've cried a couple episodes. Yeah. And, like, so I can feel it, but I'm like I'm like, why did I how come I got I this person couldn't get one good parent and I got four? Like, all four of them have put their heart on the line for me. You and I mean, you and, obviously, much later in my life, but, like, you and Karen. Like, I have six parents that I don't have one bad one. I got six good ones, and there's people that don't have any parents. They got they're alive, but, like, they're bad. They're, like, horrible, some of them. And it's like, I got six that like, my pockets are full. And, like, it just feels like you feel guilty.

Keith Vance: [44:37] A couple questions. After that podcast, you said you didn't get to share that experience with did you did you call your dad?

Mike D'Agostin: [44:44] I yeah. So my my dad, is the antithesis of somebody who's comfortable with technology. He tries to stay as far away. I think he may have a LinkedIn. Doesn't have Facebook, no Instagram, no TikTok, no YouTube, and him nothing. But I've talked to him about this podcast, and there's been a couple of episodes. I think the first one I reached out to my dad on was Billy Morris. And I reached out to him, and I told him, was like, listen. And my dad's I I get

Mike D'Agostin: [45:14] my emotion. I think I feel like I'm so emotional because both my my parents are, my mom and my dad. My mom is very emotional. And my but my dad I didn't know that until much later in life. He also is, like, got a very soft heart. As a kid, like, I think he probably knew that my sister and I needed to think he was invulnerable. So, like, I never thought my dad I never saw my dad cry. Like and and then you know? So you grow up like that, but, like, as an adult, you form a different relationship with your parents and I come to find out my dad's emotional. So ever since learning that, like, I share more with him until, like, that Billy Morris episode happened. And I called him. I was like, hey. I was like, I know I've talked to you. I thought I'd do this podcasting with Keith. I like, was there's an episode that you should probably listen to. I was like, I was like, I'll send you. Like, you don't need to make an account. Right? I was like, I'll send you where the video is gonna be, and you can you can listen to it. And so I talked to him. I haven't talked to him about the David Gold one yet, pastor Gold. But, yeah, man. I, anytime you put someone down here and they start talking about their and I don't ever want it to come off. Like like, I don't appreciate my mom's, you know, like but, like, I it's just, like, that's just I don't that was my experience growing up. Your feelings are your feelings. Your experiences are your experiences, and you don't have to apologize for them. Yeah. K? Listen.

Keith Vance: [46:34] Just because you see certain see something a certain way or feel something a certain way that may put someone else that you may feel puts has been a negative light. If that's the way you perceive it, you're allowed to say it. You know what mean? You're allowed to say Have a very We're all human beings. We're all flawed. Right? We're all flawed. Our flawedness grinds with other people's flawedness. And, you know what mean? Like, I'm just learning to be able to be gracious, be gracious. And then when my flawedness when I become aware of my flawedness, where I made mistakes with ones I love to have the humility and the gratitude to be able to say, hey, this happened back then. I'm sorry. I was wrong. Like, it just it just we're all trying to figure it out, man. At the end of day, we're all trying to figure it out. And I don't think family has intentional animosity towards each other. I don't know how we got off on that, but it just, like Yeah. Human beings, like, give give people some some grace. We're all human beings trying to figure it out. And you don't know what shape somebody.

Mike D'Agostin: [47:42] You don't know what somebody's going through. And we've hit a lot of that, haven't we? Yeah. We've hit a lot of that. We're only 20 something deep. This feels like it's almost every episode. Yeah. That's like you I know you've talked about it. You've hit on it during the episodes where you're, like, talking about, like, children and, like, the stuff that children go through and how you were kind of oblivious to it. That's kinda like what, like, when I was talking about where it's like, if you would have asked nine year old Michael,

Mike D'Agostin: [48:07] he would have told you he loved his parents. I don't think he would have said I I thought that was normal. I thought that was every everyone had like, everyone was like that. I didn't even think having sub parents was weird. Like, I again, I thank god I was so young. My my older sister may remember, like, my parents being married. I'd have no memory of it. I think I was three, and I'd have I have zero memories of them being I have all my earliest memories are Jim and Jennifer being in my life, seeing my dad every other weekend. But I like, that was normal to me. I don't know anything else. And so, like, I knew other kids didn't have step parents. I knew, like, the majority of my friends had parents. There was a mom and a dad, that was it. I didn't I didn't feel weird, and, like, nobody ever gave me crap for it. Like, I it was just it was normal. But, like, my relationship with my parents, I thought everyone had that. I was like, that's the that's what and that's you feel like this way with your dad? Because like I said, my dad I think there's this thing that happens where, like, you become you go from a child and you become an adult, and then you almost it's like you turn the page. And, like, I know parents like this. It's the whole, like, parents aren't supposed to be your best friend, blah blah blah blah blah, all that garbage. With parents, like, your parents have a responsibility to raise you, to protect you, to prepare you. I believe that. And then you turn this page when you become an adult and you get to it's almost like you're getting to see the real, like,

Keith Vance: [49:30] they take off that armor. Yep. And they're like, you made it. I remember the first time I experienced that with my dad. Yeah. Like, it's crazy. It was liberating. It was like, I saw him not as a pastor, not as my dad, not this person that that has all the answers or is the strongest man in the room. I just saw him as a human being who's been through some stuff too, and it just, like, it made me appreciate

Mike D'Agostin: [49:53] It's strength like, it sounds weird to say because I understand what you're trying say. They're taking this, like, your entire childhood, they're wearing this, like, complete suit of armor that they never that again again, I never saw my dad get hurt. I never saw my dad cry. And so, like, to me, I was it was and and that's that's the way it should be because, like, I was never as a child, I never had any worry that my dad anything could ever happen. He he was never gonna die. My dad was never gonna he'd never got overly emotionally or wasn't affected by stuff. Like, he was just a rock. And and then you become an adult. And, like, I like, I remember the first time my dad cried was, again, my sister and I saw him every other weekend. And then the rest of the time, we were living with my mom and my step my stepdad. My dad came over, and it was not his weekend, let alone eight week. Was during the week. And my mom was like, Stephanie, Michael, your dad's here. And I was like, I was excited. That was super I ran to the front door, dad. What's up with that? And I'll just never forget. Like, he his face, he was just, like, stoned, and, like, he could see tears in his eyes. And I I had no idea what that could have been. I was like, my dad doesn't cry. Like, what's what happened? Like, his young his younger brother, my uncle David, had died. And so, like, he got down on his one knee. I could still I could still picture, like, the foyer, my my mom's house back in Michigan, and he had to tell us that our uncle David had died. And it's like, it's the first time I was like I was like, oh. Like, I saw my dad, like, go through that, like, horrible emotion. And so it's like, there's that. And then as I was becoming an adult, like, he had a really bad health issue scare that, like, I didn't find out until he was on, like, he was on the emergency table and they had him open. Wow. And then I and, like, my older sister is like, Michael, like, I was working at Best Buy, she's like, Michael, she's like, dad's at the hospital. You know, he's he's he's going through some issues, and he's in surgery right now. And it's like, again, like, you don't think about it. Like, they got this armor. It doesn't come off. It's that. And then then you're an adult, and they're like, they take it off, and you see the scars, and you hear the stories. Yep. And you're like it it sounds like you'd be like, oh, like, it would lessen that. Like, like, oh, they're this. And it almost it almost, like, even put it's like, you did all of this without ever like, I mean, never knowing. Like, you went through all of this crap. It's like it's like, you know, I watch all these movies and shows, and it's like when the hero, like, you know, takes their cape off or, I mean, you see the scars on their back and, like, it's like this somber moment where it's like, holy cow. Like Yeah. I didn't know you went through that. And so, like, I got to go through that with not and that's not that's not just like a a dad thing. And, you know, it's moms too. But

Keith Vance: [52:32] Listen. I'm glad you brought this up because I think that's a big part of this podcast because so many of us don't wanna be able to see the scars or the bruises or the trauma, but it's the scars and the bruise bruises and the trauma that is relatable, that wants that wants me to be still strong. It's not the outward, the armor, it's once underneath that that, you went through that and you still got after it. You you went through that and still that's inspiring. And I think that's what I wanna that's what I wanna tap into with this. And there's so many stories. We all have scars and stuff. And to be able to be in a place in life where you're comfortable with who you are, what you are, the scars in life, you could just be an open book. When someone can be totally transparent and have an open book, it's powerful. When I have people on this podcast, Michael,

Keith Vance: [53:22] I'll I'll say, hey. I, you know, I know you through whatever. Here's why I'd like to have you on the podcast. Would you be open to it? And we talk, and then I'll I'll book them. And then that week, I'll have a like, if I'm have them on Saturday, I'll I'll call Monday. Hey. What's your story? They kinda tell me, and I'll ask them, are there any rooms are there any rooms in your life or your heart that are off limits? And the ones that say, we can talk about this, but you're not allowed in this room, I navigate through that, but the ones that say, Keith, when you've lived past your expiration date, I'm an open book. That's the ones that I feel like resonate most with me. You know what I mean? That hit that hit the hardest. And why do we and I get and and things are should be appropriate. Like, read the room. Right? They need to be they need to be appropriate. But to not show your scars because what would somebody think of me? Would they think less of me? No.

Mike D'Agostin: [54:24] When I've seen my dad's scars, I didn't think less of him. Andrew McClure. Them up. Cool. Raised them up. I I listen. It goes back to, like, that guilty feeling I have when, like, I sit in that chair and I hear these other people's stories is because, like, the suit of armor and, again, this is both my parents, but, like, I'm just relating it to my dad. That, like, suit of armor that he wore, like, I was raised as, like, dad's the fun Nintendo 64. We'd stay up late and watch scary movies, wake up, have ice cream, and waffles. He'd buy I'm like, back then, he'd buy me and Stephanie, like, bean bags and a flutter, and it was always, like, fun. It was all of this stuff. Dad was invulnerable. Dad never had these life altering, like, emotions. And every time we went over there, it was just, like, a free for not a free for all. It was just fun. It was just fun. He was he was always happy. Same thing with my mom and my stepdad. And it was just all all this, like, stuff. And you when you become an adult and they and that your parents, like, let you see it, and they're like, here's the scars, here's the stories, and your, like, heart sinks. And, like, you again, you're like, oh my gosh. That is what enabled me to become who I am. It sheltered me from it because I was too young. It would have negatively impacted me until I was old enough where it was going to be a positive There you go. Reception and they give it to you. I feel horrible because, like, how many of these kids have we've had on this podcast where it's like, all they got was the scars. You're raised with all of the scars, and then it affects you. Yeah. And, like, you can definitely come out the other end of it functioning person, and that's fine. But, like like, I think back and it's like, you know, how many trips that I come to Disney World? Because I had, like, I had people would think, like, oh, your parents are divorced when you were three years old. That must have been crappy. I had two trips to Disney World a year. Like, right, my my dad would take me to Disney World, and my mom would take me to Disney World. Like, no. It wasn't that. Like Got it. My situation is not everyone's situation, but, like, having that security blanket of your parents not letting you know the horrific things that they've had to sacrifice and go through, and then you grow up, and then now that you have established yourself as a human being, as, like, as a young adult, and you have your idea of how the world works and who you wanna be, and you go out there and then your parents are like, by the way you know? And that's the that's usually not how like, like, you didn't sit down and be like, hey, kids. Let's all sit around. Your dad's gonna talk about how messed up my life has been. It's usually they'll just act they'll just find out naturally. You're no longer secretly try like, trying to hide it from them. They just find out and like, dad, like, what happened? Let's talk about it. And you tell them. And, like, now that, like I I don't know. It's just like it puts my parents to me. I'm like, holy crap. Like, I went eighteen years of my life not knowing that you have all these scars, that you have all these stories, that you just kept your mouth shut so that I could have a normal childhood. It's honoring. Yeah. It's like it breaks my heart when you hear that somebody, like, doesn't have that. Yeah. And they have the some of them even have the opposite of that.

Keith Vance: [57:28] What do you think about,

Keith Vance: [57:32] well, here, I just had a thought. You're in my relationship, like, this together, sitting in this room.

Keith Vance: [57:41] I don't know why I'm doing this, man, but it's been therapeutic for me. Like, something's going on in me that's good for me. I feel like I'm growing somehow. I feel like my empathy for people. I feel like my perspective for what's important was not important. Like, I feel this is a this has been been good for me just to grow as a person. Mhmm. Have you seen any growth in me? And then and then what about our relationship? Can we talk about that? Like, have you noticed a shift in our relationship? Just you and I hanging out last how how many twenty something Saturdays you've been coming in here hanging out with me? Like, just

Mike D'Agostin: [58:16] Not to mention the Saturdays before that in preparation. Digest that for a little bit. I'll break it I'll break it down in the way that you gave it to me. But as far as growth in you, yeah, I think that God has used this as a tool to soften your heart. You weren't when I met you, I was told by your daughter that you were a very hard person, that it was gonna be like, I was actually real nervous about meeting you. Throughout this podcast,

Mike D'Agostin: [58:46] over twenty some odd weeks, your communication skills have naturally gotten better. You're able to, like, navigate these conversations. You're able to get people who are going off course, rallying them back in all in the course of, like, a three hour session. You can see you in real time. Like, somebody will say something to you and you can see you process it, break it down, and then, like, it's just you yourself. Yes. This podcast has definitely changed you. I think only for the better in a lot of different facets.

Mike D'Agostin: [59:25] I think that as far as this podcast in relation to, like, your and my relationship your and my relationship could also be its own podcast, but, like, it didn't end horribly with your construction company. It didn't end great. Shortly before I had shifted and told you I would I was gonna be leaving, you and I had a it's the only time. Over the course of three years, only one time ever. But if you remember it, like, you and I had gotten into a frustrating argument, and you, like, looked at me and you're like you're like, you should just you should just go home for the day. And, like, I looked at you and I was like and I, like, slammed the thing, I was like, yeah. I'm going home for the day. And, you Karen called me, and I I was angry. We had butted heads a couple times, and I think a lot of that came from the fact that I was working with I love working with technology. I I accepted that job with you because the majority of that job was gonna be me messing with technology, and I that that's just, like, one of my passions. So I had that. The other half of that job was something that was, like, trying to learn how to speak German. Like, had told you, I was like, Keith, I ain't never looked at a blueprint before. I'm like, I can't read a blueprint. And you're like, we're gonna work on it. And, like, over the those those years, like, I'm not afraid to admit it. Like, I just I just never picked it up. And so, like, I was doing the best I could, but, like, I would go home. And I talked to Brooke about this. I would go home and tell her, I'm like, I feel like the dumbest animal in the barn when I go over there. Like, from the time I clock in to the time I clock out, I feel like all I'm doing is slowing other people down. And, like, that can't be your job. Like, you don't have to love your job, but you like, I was I was so disappointed in myself. I felt like I wasn't helping you. I felt like it was actually, like, a roadblock that was, like, slowing like I said, slowing things down. And so I told Brooke, I was like You can you can say this if you want. I don't care. Sure. Like, you can say it.

Keith Vance: [1:01:24] How much of that was your own in your own head? And how much of that did I did I,

Mike D'Agostin: [1:01:29] project on you? Because I would imagine I think it was I think it was a combination of, like, we had said earlier, when you're when you're working, there's work that needs to be done. I would I'd be interested to see what our dynamic in that type of environment would be today after you've been doing all these podcasts, like, because I don't know what it's like there. I I haven't been in that office in a long time. But back then,

Mike D'Agostin: [1:01:56] in my head, I'm like, I have expressed to Keith that I've never done this. Like, I I don't I'm not a construction worker. I've never built a house. I've never read a blueprint. And, like, I think with your head, how it works is you were like you're like, well, I've sat down with you, and I've explained to you what a aphasia is. I've explained to you what a gable is. And, like, I've already explained it to you, you should know it. Good boy. And then when I do Good boy. You know what gable and fascia is? Good boy. That's been four years It's been a while, but, like, I but, like, like, you I I feel like the way your brain was working at least back then was like, well, I've already explained this to you. So so when we would be going through a plan and I'd be going over a breakdown and I would I had missed something, you're like, why why why? Why did you miss that? And, like, in my head so, like, my head's going like, what do you mean why I miss it? Because I've been doing this for two years, and I've told you is I don't know what I'm doing. Like, I I'm I'm learning this as we I was like and so in my head, I'm like I'm like, I my head's telling me that we have the same thing going on. We're both on the same track of mine, and you're just being a douche. And in your head, you're like, is he stupid? Like, I've already explained this to you. Like, we've already been over this. What do you mean you don't know? And, like, what do you mean you forgot this? And so we had this, like, small gap between us where we weren't meshing,

Keith Vance: [1:03:18] and it kept causing us to, like, bang heads. And I remember that day. That day, I I I got that feeling for the first time, like, if we keep going, nothing's like, we're not gonna get It didn't get to screaming. If we woulda kept doing it, it yeah. We're just we're we're not gonna get anything done today. Yeah.

Mike D'Agostin: [1:03:34] And so I I left that day, and that was the first day that I, in my head, was like, I might have to do something else. I was like because, like, when I first accepted the job,

Mike D'Agostin: [1:03:48] a very large portion of it was to develop a relationship with you and Karen. Mhmm. Because I knew you guys live forty minutes away. I had a full time job. Brooke at the time was working midnights. Like, there was no other than a holiday, like, I was never gonna see you guys. And you and I had already done, like, the, you know, get to know me, and I'll give you my permission to date my daughter. We've already done that. So, like, there was nothing. And I was like and so in my head, when you offered me the job, I loved that. That urban job that I, like, was doing, I liked it. The lady that I worked for, I I I cried when I quit because I was like, I'm so sorry, Ruth. I was like, I love you. But I nothing was more important to me than, like, well, this is this is my chance to get to know Keith. This is my chance to get to know Karen better to like, obviously, I knew I'd be working here, so, like, the siblings would all be here. I was like, this is my way of knowing the family. I didn't I didn't wanna be this. Like, I'm not trying to take a Brooke and, like, hide her from her family. Like, I'm I'm a family guy. Like, I love family. So, like, I was like, that's my way of getting into this family. And so that's why I had originally accepted that. And through working with you, was like, man, I'm it's starting to, like, now I'm backtracking. Like, now I'm now my relationship with Keith is we butt heads almost every day, at least a couple times a week. I was like, and how healthy is that? Then then I go home to Brooke when I should be like, hey, Brooke. How's your day going? Blah blah blah. And instead, I'm like, man, today sucked. Man, I'm so stupid. Like, I feel like a pile of crap. And I could blame it on whatever. I'd be like, oh, your dad for your dad was so mean today. Your dad didn't have patience with me today. But, like, in my heart, in my head, I was like, man, I'm so dumb. Like, I don't know what the hell I'm doing over there. And, like, I I'm wasting everybody's time. So, like, that was the that day was the day that at first, like, that seed was planted where I was like, like, I don't know if I can keep doing this. And then, again, got ahead of the plans. Josiah had prayed just just coincidentally built his pest control business up to the point where he needed to hire somebody. And he originally thought that he's like, well, Mike will never leave Keith. He's like, I know Mike. Mike's never gonna leave Keith. He's like, so I'll offer it to somebody else. And he offered it to a person before me, and that person just it it wasn't gonna work out. He didn't he they didn't meet up, and he had told me about it. And I was like, well, hold on. I was like I was like, let me find out. And I had told Josiah, I was like, I can't leave Keith. I was like, high and dry. I was like I was like I was like, with what I built, I can definitely give it to somebody. I was like, if you remember that day, I had told Karen, and she was like, please don't.

Keith Vance: [1:06:22] Karen Karen was like, no. They She's like She probably said she probably said, Michael, please don't leave me alone with him. Like, you're you're my buffer. It was something along those lines. Don't leave me alone with him. She had told me no.

Mike D'Agostin: [1:06:37] And I explained this to her, and she was like, well, I could tell she was disappointed. Not necessarily in me, but she was like her her heart was a little bit heavy. And, like, so the day came, and you weren't at the office that morning. You weren't even coming in in the afternoon, and you came in. And it was the biggest bullfrog in my throat. And I was like, Keith, I was like, I gotta talk to you. I was like, Josiah offered me a job. I was like, and I'm I'm gonna take it. And, like, you, like like, you didn't say anything. And I was like, before you ask, I was like, it's not about money. I was like, I'm taking I'm actually taking a pay cut to go work with him. I told you. I was like, Keith, I was like, I just I was like, I feel so useless here. I was like, I feel like the dumbest person in the room every single day I come here. I was like, and I can't take that home anymore. I don't know if you remember what you said, but you you literally I told you. I go I go, Keith, I go, I built this thing that we do. I was like a chimpanzee. I could train one. He'll work here and do a better job than me. And you stood up. Your response to me, and I knew you were mad, but, like, your response was, like, alright. You're like, shut it down. Unplug it all. Throw it away. Like, the computer, the the software, you're like, like, we're done. Like and I was like, Keith, stop. I was like, Keith. I was like, I promise you. I was like, Josiah gave me as long as I need. I was like, we'll find somebody. I was like, we'll train them. I was like, I'm not gonna leave until I'm confident that they're running it. And I think the next day, you had you had talked to me when I showed up, and you were like, you know, Michael Green. Hey. I know this guy. He's like, he's he used to be an architect, which in my head, was like, this is perfect. I was like, he's an architect. He knows what blueprints are. I was like and, like and then he's smart, and he uses technology. I'll just train him. And, like, we ended up handing it off, which eventually led to your other son-in-law who's now doing the job that your son-in-law created. So it's like, it's all worked out. I'm back in that industry. Was working when you first hired me, and, like, again, I go home. I don't love treating lawns. I don't love killing bugs. But, like, I go home and I'm like, man, I saw that lawn. Like, I remember what that lawn looked like. I remember what that lawn looked like when I got it. It looked like a garbage lawn. Now it's like an emerald green. I'm like, I get it's, you know, it's whatever. It's not the most important job in the world, but I love it. You mentioned we'll we'll move on, but you mentioned my other son-in-law, Austin.

Keith Vance: [1:08:53] He he from my perspective Mhmm. From my perspective, and he may say something differently, but he has the personality. He's just like a diesel engine. Mhmm. He's got one gear, and nothing rattles him. He just Yeah. Plugs through and gets it done. Like, I'll be getting anxiety that I think he told me next week he got, like, 15 jobs. We gotta get the bids out. So I got anxiety. Get done? But he's like, you just figured it out. Yeah. And he he gets them done. And he's been good for me because he doesn't get anxious or upset. Like, you're feeling this anxiety. If he does, he doesn't show it. His steadiness steadies me. You follow me? So here here, you're feeling anxious like I'm dumb, and I think I'm vibing off your energy not not really understanding it. So, like, right now And and I now right now, you know, when when enough time goes by and people move, people leave, things happen, but you can still be family and, like, figure it out and

Mike D'Agostin: [1:09:57] Well, that's and that's what the next like, I know this is a really long winded way of answering our relationship, but, like, it was too important to me to, like I want because, like, that's where we had left it. It was like that was like like, Michael Mike, we train I trained him. He got it. He took it, and I left. And then I think was July 5 is when I started working with Josiah, and I was gone. I love the listen. I love listen. The

Keith Vance: [1:10:19] the meanness of me, I love that you started doing lawns in the middle of freaking July. After you've been sitting three years in my air conditioned office, like, I'm glad you said that. Was like, man, I I hope he suffer. It was it was the was right after the fourth. It the first day. I love that. And I don't know if you I know you remember this. Satisfaction out of hearing that.

Mike D'Agostin: [1:10:36] I had thought. Because by the time it was a it wasn't like a two week retirement from me leaving. It was it was a little while. Yeah. And by the time I left, I was like, oh, I was like, well, we're we're good. I was like, this is fine. And I remember I remember Karen, my last day, was, like, making this big thing about it. And she's like, it's his last day. Aren't you gonna blah blah blah. And you're like, you're like, okay. This is the last day. Later. Like, I got work to get done. And, like, I didn't care about that, but, like, I had thought I was like, man. Like, left things. I was like, we're back to good. I was like, this is the best for everybody. And then I didn't see it. And, like, a couple holidays happened. Or it's just because I then we went back to, like, I was seeing you on holidays. Daytona Beach. Not not not Daytona. I'm sorry. Fort Myers Beach. We go to the resort. Diamondhead every year. Every year we go Diamondhead. You're sitting at the you're sitting poolside. And, again, my brain is like, Keith and I are good. Like, this is all normal. You're sitting around the pool, whole family, some of them in the pool, some of them Brooke and I show up, walk around. Like, some of the your daughter's talking to I'm talking. Like, hey, guys. Whatever. And, like, I hadn't walked up to you. And then, like, and then I get this, like, feeling. Like, there's this, like, this person just, like, shooting eyes, and I'm like I'm good at that. Yeah. And I'm like, what? I was like, what did I do to him? I'm like, I don't I thought we were gonna I was like, is he so mad that I I was like, I I was so confused. Right? And then you would express to you like, you know, Michael didn't come up to me and, like, say hi. Michael didn't, like, come up and shake my hand. And I'm like, I hadn't even thought of it. Or I'm like, I I just took it for granted that I was like, I'm just gonna quit. I'm a leave, and I'm not gonna say hi to this guy when we go to Diamond Head because I don't see you anymore. I was used to seeing you every day. So it's not like I don't see you every single day and, like, hey. Give him a shake your hand every single day when I see you every day, but I don't see you every day anymore. And then I you do see me, and I just kinda, like, walk past. That's whatever. And so, like, then all of a sudden, there's this thing again. And, like, yeah, and, like, Brooke talked to me about it. And I was like and so, like, the next day, I'm like, shake your hand. And so, like, we start that path of, like, slow I'm trying to, like every time we went somewhere, that was, like, the number one thing in my mind. We'd go anywhere. Right? We go to see you guys at a church. We'd come over to your house for lunch. We did somebody's birthday. I was like, dude, I'd push people off the way to be like, hi, Keith. I was like, go, like, shake your hand. I was like, I'm getting back in here, man. And so, like, we went through that, and then it got it got to the point where it was fine, and you and I could joke around and have talks, whatever. And then when the podcast thing first got approached to me, it's, like, almost you You an old feelings. Yeah. Where I was like, this is my second chance. Oh. Because I looked at it, I was like, well, the podcast is all technology. I was like, I know it's conversations, but it's not my me having a conversation. I was like, it's Keith having a conversation. I'm just working the soundboard. I was like but seeing Keith every single week, I was like, here's my second chance to go do it right. Because I don't think I did it wrong the first time, but it's just like, here's my second chance is what I saw it as. And so, again, with this job, I could have easily told you, hey. Just go hire somebody for, like, $500 an episode, and they'll give you, like there won't be an episode one through five. It'll be all good. But I took it because I wanted this. And so I think where we are now, 20 episodes deep into this, I think this is probably the strongest that you your relationship with me has ever been since I first showed up from with that lip ring that I used to take off just to have a like, I would take that thing off of my car to sit down and talk to you at donut Dunkin' Donuts and then put it back in when I went back in my car. I remember, like, Brooke liked it. She was like, I think it looks good. And I was like I was like, I can't do this anymore. I was like, I I take it out every time to see your dad. Was I like, I'm gonna end up seeing your dad more. I'm not taking was like so I just took it off and let it close. And I was like I was like, I'm just gonna keep it out. I was like, it's fine. But, yeah, where we are today, it's been a bumpy road from the beginning. But, again, you've said it a million times in this podcast, there's no coincidences. I think every step of the the way that led up to where we are now. Right? Like, Brooke and I go to the now we're all at the same church, which has never happened since I met you guys. We're all at the same church. So I get to see the family every single week for church. I get to see you every week for the podcast. Brooke obviously works right next door to you now. It's just like it this is the healthiest everything has felt. And my relationship with you is about as good as it's ever been. I think that

Keith Vance: [1:15:11] and we can move on after I make this point. But I think, like, on my side, what

Keith Vance: [1:15:20] struggle with control. I gotta control everything. And relationships and everything gotta be on my terms. If they're not on my terms, I don't know how to deal with it. And, I think when you left, I took that personally.

Keith Vance: [1:15:40] Yeah. And then like you said, when Karen said, hey. You're gonna see him off? Like, in my mind, why why would I? Like, I've already moved on. Like, I I'm not emotionally attached. Like, I'm already move on to the next thing. Other Mike and I got work to do. Know what I mean? It's that person. I never made that person. I just got work to do. Yeah. I just got work to do. So I detached from that kind of thing. But

Keith Vance: [1:16:02] the bigger our family is getting and the more personalities that are being added to the family, I'm becoming aware that I can't control the dynamic and the personalities of the family and to be okay with just letting the family be the family. You understand? And not have to control That's a huge part of your journey. Not have to control everything. Just let people be who they are the way they are and love them anyway. That's been liberating to me, brother. Like, you're not you're not where I want you to be spiritually, Michael. There's people in my family that I want more for them, but you know what? I'm not where I wanna be either. No. And we're all in the same boat. You know I mean? I'm not where I wanna be either. And we're on different levels and being okay that we're on different levels, given some grace for each other. I pray for I pray for you guys more than I ever have. I think you're And I think what's been changing the dynamic is not God change him. Yeah. God's been changing me, brother.

Mike D'Agostin: [1:17:10] Make a big, like, characterization of the change that like, the biggest change that when I first met you, it was, like, this is Keith Circle. Mhmm. And, like, anybody who like, you have, obviously, a lot of daughters, so, like, it would have been it would be son-in-law. Any boyfriends coming into the picture? Let's see if they fit. Let's see how they operate inside this circle. You're almost like a kid who has, like, one of those little plastic bug containers Mhmm. And you wanna put the bug in there and, like, the that's it. Okay. It's mine. I have it. I I'll feed it. I'll do whatever. And then over time, what's happened is now you've had to learn how to instead of having these plastic containers with your different things, I was like, you have this garden, and, like, you have things planted in the garden for the different type of insects, animals that come around. Like, you went from a guy who everyone has to fit in this little circle. I'm the captain of the circle. Yeah. You're right. Stay in the circle or else, like, you know, if I tell you, you're like, not only that. Like, it's not just like somebody can walk into the circle. Keith has to open the circle and let you in. You're right. Yeah. Yeah. I open up the circle. First, Keith comes out of the circle and inspects you, pats you down. He's like, alright. You come in the circle. And then when you're in the circle, Keith's up in the guard tower with a spot like

Mike D'Agostin: [1:18:17] then You're right. Somebody acts up. It's like, yeah. Like, get on my side. Like, then you've had to, like, over time I don't I don't really feel like that circle's there anymore. I think that part of that is still in you where you have the natural fatherly instinct of, like, these are my kid. They're always gonna be your kids. Sure. Brooke's always gonna be your daughter. She's gonna be your baby girl, your first daughter. Like, they're always there, but, like, you have gotten way better at, like, just kinda letting that circle fade a little bit. And you're like, you know, here I am in the center with Karen, and I have all these tangents that here's my kids. Because, like, it's easy when they're just even when they're even, like like, Brooke, for example. Like, Brooke, when when your kids go off and get married, it's still easy because they don't have kids. So it's like you still have these, like, direct connections. Here's Lily. Right? Here's Brooke. K. Here's Thomas and Terry. And then they start having kids. And once that happens, all of a sudden, it's like it's like all these things start and you're like, it's getting harder to fit everybody in here. So then you kinda have to turn it into, like, well, I can see them all. I'm gonna have connections with them all. Make sure I'm gonna I'm gonna maintain these healthy connections as they develop their family. Yeah. And, like, over time, that's what you like, that is a huge change for you. I didn't I'd never force like, I could never guess that you were gonna be able to get out of that. I would thought forever it was gonna be like, alright. Here's your collar.

Keith Vance: [1:19:36] You know, we laugh. We laugh because it's funny, but you you hit it on the head. I didn't realize that was what was doing, but you hit it on the head. Mhmm. And it wasn't out of bad intentions.

Mike D'Agostin: [1:19:47] You know what mean? I thought I was doing muscle I never got that feeling with supposed to doing what I was supposed to doing. I knew you would be difficult. I never got the feeling that anything that you were doing was, like, ill will or, like, evil or what I like, everything. I actually really looked up to you because of your like, you had seven kids. And, like, I think the first my favorite story to tell is the first day I ever met you. Brooke had told me, she's like, he he drives this this duly white truck. You're gonna see it. It's gonna say Vance Brothers on it. She's like, you know, she's like she's like, he's he doesn't like you. He's like she's like, he's seen your picture. I'm picturing this guy who's gonna get out of this truck. I didn't know what you look like. The only picture she showed me was her when she was a baby. You're holding her when she's a baby. You got no shirt on and, like and I'm like, I have no idea what you look like. And you get out of that and I'm like, this guy's gonna get out of this truck. I was like, he's gonna be eight foot tall, and he's gonna, like, stick a boot up my ass. And you get out of the truck, you walk in and knock a donuts, and I'm sitting there. And within five minutes of meeting you and shaking your hand, you were crying about because you're talking about Brooke. The second I saw you talk about Brooke, and then your eyes got glassy and your lips started quivering, and I was like I was like, holy crap. I was like, I can connect with this guy. Gotcha. I was like, because he's that dad. I was like, he's the dad who's like everything about him is concrete. He's in phone room, but then talk to him about his kids. You'll find out real quick who who a person is when you talk about their kids. And, like, as soon as you talked about any of your kids, it was just like your heart was bleeding. And I was like, oh, I can love this guy. I was like, because this guy is everything that I'm about. And I hadn't even met Karen yet, which I've loved Karen. You cannot love Karen. But, like, I was like that. I I I'll never I went back to Brooke, and I was like, oh, you cried? And she's like, what? I was like, oh, he talked about you. I was like, as soon as he talked about you, I was like, he started crying. I like, and then ten minutes later, he was doing burpees and knocking donuts. Like, you're jumping up and down, dude. You know what burpees is? Mike, let me show you, Brady. Like, jump I'm, like, looking around. I'm like, what? No. You're like so, like, after that first meeting, like, I knew I knew you'd be difficult, but, like, I also knew that, like, this guy loves his kids. That's all that matters to me. It's like Brooke's got a dad. Like, I've I've dated girls who didn't have dads. I've dated girls who had bad dads. I and, like but, like, as soon as I thought, I was like, oh, Brooke's got, like and she gave me a general synopsis of her, like, life and, like, that your guys' relationship at the time wasn't like this. And, like but I met you, and I was like, I was like, okay. I'm in. I was like, this is this is gonna be good. I was like, I don't have to there's no like, I don't gotta BS this guy. This guy, like, loves his kids. He would die for his kids today if I asked him to. Like, I can I can connect with him at least on that? Yeah. If I can connect with one thing, it's that, like, the love between a father and his kids. I had one. Good.

Keith Vance: [1:22:36] I got one last thought that we can, we can shut it down with. But before I do, any anything else you wanna hit on as far as podcast related? Funniest thing happened, worst thing that happened, heaviest episode. I feel like we hit a lot of them. Billy Morris Barnett.

Mike D'Agostin: [1:22:53] Okay. Well, that's not fair because we, they're not out there yet. But I'm I'm not gonna include the podcasts that aren't out there yet because nobody else has seen them. But the the heaviest ones for me were probably actually a pretty light hearted one that you just did, just seeing my my little girl on this podcast like that. That one's coming out. That one's that one's deep for me. By the time this one comes out, I'm just that one will actually already be out. But, like, that for me is that's heavy. But Billy Morris, Barton on, man. That Billy Morris podcast, when he talks about his son, obviously, there's, like, again, me and the the father son thing, but, like, I don't think I've cried harder. You asked me after that podcast if I still wanted to do to do podcasts with you, because you had seen me. Yeah. I was a wreck, man. Like, that's somebody who I really look I never knew him before, but that's somebody who I very much look up to now because Yeah. I don't know how you continue living, frankly. That was probably the heaviest one. I've cried during a couple of other ones. Funniest moment? I don't know, man. I feel like you do we do a lot. I try to stay quiet when I'm sitting over there, but every once in a while, I feel like you can hear me cackle in the background. Yeah. But there's been there's been quite a few funny moments. I mean, the the the Alexis one that, like I said, if I'm not mistaken, should be already be out by the time this comes out. But the Alexis one, I think I love her to death. She's obviously my my little angel, but, like, she's got she's got the biggest heart out of anybody I've ever met in my entire life. The one the podcast that made me the most nervous? Which one? Hers. Alexa's. That's so funny to me because it came off so natural. Bro, I was the most nervous. Were you nervous that shaping myself up. She was going to I don't know. I just I don't know. That's funny. You kept saying it. It was the one I'm the least I was the least nervous. Nervous about her. I was just like I was nervous that she wasn't gonna talk.

Keith Vance: [1:24:48] No. It was my She was I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to commute. I don't know. I just did it. Was just the like, I was nervous. You guys got here early, and I was like I just kept trying, like, hype, like, okay. Let me get ready for it.

Mike D'Agostin: [1:25:01] You know, it was, like, the most nervous. Couple other heavy ones for me were then, like, the day foraker one. I remember who like, hearing your like, you tell your side of stories like that because I wasn't here. Mhmm. It tears my heart out. Seeing you get emotional, I know to most people who only know you through this podcast, that seems like it happens every podcast, but that's it doesn't. But seeing you get emotional gets to me. You tell him this I don't remember who you were talking to, the story I think it was actually Billy Morris, but you tell me a story about Thomas when

Keith Vance: [1:25:40] Thomas hit his head? I just said, yeah. It's so funny because I had forgotten about that. Stuff like that tears me up. Yeah.

Mike D'Agostin: [1:25:49] But, yeah, hearing LJ stories were hilarious. Talking about running around his birthday suit jumping in dumpsters. Like, it's hard not to, like like so I I've met a lot of people just sitting in that chair, being a fly in the wall as an experience in itself.

Keith Vance: [1:26:05] Yeah. There's gonna be a lot more come out too.

Mike D'Agostin: [1:26:07] Yeah. We're starting to get start to get loaded up. It's gonna feel nice though being going on, like, a our holiday vacations and not worrying about putting stuff out. Yeah. It'll all be there because that was the main concern when we first started. Yeah.

Keith Vance: [1:26:22] Because our our Saturdays have been our Saturdays got stolen away from us. Yeah. But I feel like it's worth it.

Mike D'Agostin: [1:26:30] I I wouldn't trade. Those those especially the Christmas one, but those those those family trips. Like, Diamond Head is great, but the Christmas trips, man, or something like the first one you guys ever brought me on was Tennessee. I think we did Tennessee for a couple years, but, like, those those holiday Christmas trips with your guys' family are it's just crazy now looking looking now with how big the family is. Yeah. Like, if you guys pretty soon, you guys are gonna have to start renting castles for us to have our our our our family vacations, but I love it. I wouldn't trade it for anything. The fact that we are blessed enough to have enough content and episodes where we can go on those and not fret about it is gonna be nice.

Keith Vance: [1:27:08] One thing that I didn't anticipate was gonna happen during these podcasts was the,

Keith Vance: [1:27:20] you know, I I I tried the that person sitting there, and I tried to to live it. I tried to empathize. I tried to, like, put myself there. Yeah. And when you do that and it connects with you,

Keith Vance: [1:27:36] you you you you put this weight on yourself. You follow me? Mhmm. Put this weight on yourself. And then now the podcast is over, we're done, and that weight doesn't go away. Yeah. I didn't I didn't anticipate that, and I'm trying to figure out what to do with that because here, this person sitting there, they're sharing this this stuff with me, and I feel like it would be disrespectful just to alright. Next. I don't wanna disrespect someone like that. Like, they felt that they're communicating something to me. Like, I need to be respectful for that. And, before I was doing this podcast, you know, I had my routine. Saturday, I go for a five mile run. I cold plunge. I I do my thing, and that got taken away from me because I'm doing this podcast.

Mike D'Agostin: [1:28:23] And when I'm done for two hours, I'm more drained doing this than the than the run. Like, I am emotionally exhausted. I don't even talk and I'm exhausted when I go home. Bro, I I go home and I have to force myself to sit down and edit it because I don't want it to get away from me. But I'm like, I get home and, like, Brooke and Alexis are usually there because it's obviously Saturdays. And, like, they're at home, and I get back and I'm like, I just wanna lay down on the couch next to you right now. And, like, like, the Billy one was tough, but, like, I mean, even, like, an an uplifting podcast, like, lighthearted one, I get home and I'm like Exhausted. Because, like like you, it's like I got I got this new story. And it's not my story, but it's like it's almost like I I added another book to my my bookshelf, and it's like, it's getting heavy. It's getting, like and you're like you're like, whoo. Which I think is a net positive because I think that over time, like, it's like, you know, weight training. You're putting, you know, more plates on, and you're getting there and you're, like, you're you're becoming a better, stronger version of yourself because you're going through these emotions with that guest. You're going through their stories. And if you were to just do that and then when you walked out that door, you're like, forget it, control alt delete, like, it wouldn't be a good podcast. It wouldn't be a good podcast host if every single time you were starting off from zero. Like, you keep you, like respectful. You get it. Like, some some podcasts are, like, in informational. Like, some podcasts, like, educational. You learn stuff. You become a smarter person. That's a good thing. With your podcast, Still and, like, the general genre of this podcast, it's gonna be heavy. More often than not, still strong is not gonna be a lightheaded lighthearted fun story. More often than not, that's going you're gonna hear some stuff. Yeah. And it's gonna weigh on you. But, like, over time, it's not gonna make you a darker person or, like, it it'll just make you it's gonna open you to different emotions. It'll make it easier for you to connect with that person sitting in that chair regardless of what their story is. I think over I think that's probably what you when you talk about the change in you, it that's probably what that is, is that you're living that story with them. Then you for the rest of the day, you go whether or not you go cold plunger or if you go take a nap or do whatever, like, and you wake up, that story is still with you. Like, it's still there. And then you will get another story next week. And, like, next Saturday, you add to it and you add to it. You're putting those books in your bookshelf, and and the next thing you know, you got this whole library of stuff, and you're just a better human being. I think that's just innately what's going to happen over time. I think it's a net positive, and I think it's working on both. I don't even talk, and I'm over there, but I'm also doing the same thing. Yeah. And then I go home, and then I deal with it for another two days. Like so because, like, I'm going back through it. You kinda, like, relive edit it. I had to make clips off of it. So it's like and then I see you post it, and I try to interact with it. So, like, it's always there. Like, I'm always ingesting it. And I you know, that's why that's why I think I made a good choice when you asked me, and I was like, yeah. I wanna do it. Like I said, selfishly, main choice was I got the second chance to develop this relationship. But, also, I've got to spend a lot of money on this podcast, dude, and I very much enjoyed doing it.

Keith Vance: [1:31:17] The last several weeks, I, instead of taking a nap, I, I I go for a run. Mhmm. Something about running and that heavy emotion, it just kinda, like, clears your head. You're not being disrespectful. You're not just dumping it off, but you're putting it somewhere. I'm sweating it out, and I'm just, like, cleaning my brain. You run. You know me sometimes. It's just it's been therapeutic for me. So that's my routine now just to so to not let it change me in a bad way, but to okay. There's something that I need to learn and to go for a run and to glean those things and the heaviness, you know, put place that heaviness down that I'm not meant to carry in a respectful way. I'm a I'm a lay this down. I'm a keep this.

Mike D'Agostin: [1:32:04] It's been helpful for me. But I because I hate running. But, unfortunately, it's just one thing that I've been decent at. But, like, what I've always known about running is, like and maybe it's the for you. Maybe this is just a me thing, but I it's impossible to ingest things while running. I can only digest. So, like, if I'm running, for example, if you go to the gym oh, you have your own. But, if you go to, like, a public gym, a Crunch Fitness or something like that, you'll see all these TVs. These TVs are all put in front of the treadmills and stuff like the gym I go to. It's upstairs. There's all these TVs. They're all in front of all the treadmills. I can't. I I I can't watch something and, like, ingest information while I'm running. Because, like, what I find out happens is, like, as I'm watching it, like, five minutes goes by. Don't ask me what happened five minutes ago on that day. I have no idea. Like, I'm not actually ingesting anything. It's just, like, kinda hitting me in the face as I'm running. Whereas, like, whatever I've already ingested when I run, that's all my brain's able to do is it takes what I have, and it's, like, going through Yep. All of that. I can sit there. If I watch an episode of something and then go run, you know, a five k on a treadmill, For that five k, I will remember every minute detail that was in that episode, and I will digest the entire thing. I do some of my best thinking when I'm running. Me too. And so I that's what I've noticed. It's like, you can't it's impossible to ingest. I could turn music on, but what that actually is is just kinda like a distract keep your mind off the fact that your feet are moving. Like, it's just like you can get into a beat and rhythm and stuff like that, but there's no ingestion of any information when I'm running. It's just stay alive and keep moving forward. And so it's like whatever's already stuck in my head for you, this podcast, the episode, the information, that's all that's spinning. Yeah. So running is great for that. Been there it's been helpful for me just to

Keith Vance: [1:33:40] release it Yeah. In a

Mike D'Agostin: [1:33:42] in a healthy way that I'm respectful that person's in there. Just just release it. So Yeah. They gave you their two or three hours. It's the least you could do. Just sit there and, like, think on it and be like, how does this affect me? Like, what does this mean going forward? Yeah.

Keith Vance: [1:33:56] Alright, brother. Well, I'm glad you picked up the phone. I was, hey. I wanna do a podcast. I'm glad you didn't shut me down. And I've told you and Karen anything you guys ever need, I might not be able to do it, but I'm gonna try my best. Yeah. Well, I appreciate you, man. Looking forward to this one being dropped.

Mike D'Agostin: [1:34:12] I'm not looking forward to editing it. I don't wanna hear myself.