Episode summary
In episode 21 of Still Strong, host Michael Vance sits down with Daniela Satt, a registered nurse at Naples Longevity Clinic who first caught Michael's attention by quoting scripture during routine clinic visits. What begins as a warm introduction — complete with a Still Strong hat, a shared love of heavy lifting, and honest talk about the difficulty of breaking from daily routine — quickly deepens into one of the series' most searching and tender conversations about childhood survival, the long reach of addiction, and the slow, patient work of God in a wounded soul. Daniela opens by reading 1 Peter 5:10, the verse the Lord placed on her heart that very morning: 'After you have suffered a little while, he himself will restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast.' That verse becomes the episode's throughline. She was born in Miami to a Bolivian father and Mexican mother who met at the University of Arizona, and spent her early childhood in Bolivia. When her parents divorced around age six, she and her younger sister Nikki went to live primarily with their mother — a woman Daniela describes with genuine warmth as joyful, generous, and deeply loving, who was simultaneously losing the battle with alcoholism. Daniela traces the escalating chaos of those years with clear-eyed sobriety: the seven-year-old girl who emptied her mother's wine bottle and tried to refill it with Coca-Cola; the weekends she dreaded when churrasco meant pool parties that ended in verbal and physical abuse; the years of enforced silence kept by threats that 'if you tell anyone, you'll never see me again.' She and Nikki eventually moved with their mother to Mexico, where a brief season of sobriety, Christian church attendance, and competitive swimming gave both girls a taste of stability — only for the cycle to restart when new relationships and old patterns returned. At seventeen, after years of living as her mother's keeper, Daniela watched her mother pack a bag and abandon both daughters. Her father flew from Bolivia to retrieve them, but Daniela carried every wound with her. Through her late teens and early twenties she drifted — lying to family about attending college, working clubs and restaurants in Naples, surviving a near-fatal car accident on Alligator Alley that left her airlifted to a trauma hospital, and eventually falling into a seven-year Adderall addiction that masked the unhealed pain underneath. The pivot came near the end of 2020, when a friend invited her to Grow Church in Naples. Standing in worship for the first time as 'Waymaker' played, Daniela felt what she later recognised as the presence of the Holy Spirit — the same sensation she had felt waking in the medevac helicopter. She began attending, but held her old life tightly. In 2021 she surrendered, joined a healing group called Freedom, began forgiving her mother layer by layer, and entered a community that spoke life over her rather than death. Her mother's addiction continued to worsen through rehabs she repeatedly escaped, late-night calls oscillating between curses and cries for help, until April 19, 2024, when the call came that her mother had died. The grief was compounded by guilt — Daniela had blocked her mother's number weeks earlier to protect her own sanity. But at the funeral in Mexico, a young woman from her mother's last rehab approached Daniela and told her that her mother had spoken of her constantly, calling her 'the pastor,' the one who had preached Jesus to her while she was still in chains. The encounter broke the anger Daniela had briefly aimed at God and confirmed that love freely given, even when it seems unanswered, is never wasted. The conversation weaves between memoir and practical theology throughout, with Michael drawing out reflections on how parents' unhealed wounds become children's burdens, why childhood wiring shapes adult identity, how to reach a teenager who has built walls to survive, and what grief looks like when it is carried to God rather than into defeat. Daniela closes with a direct appeal: if you have tried everything else and are still searching, give God a chance — he is the healer, the restorer, and the only source that truly satisfies.
Speakers
- Intro voiceover other
- Michael Vance host
- Daniela Satt guest
Chapters
- 0:26 Introduction: How Two Paths Crossed
Michael recounts meeting Daniela at Naples Longevity Clinic, noticing her scripture-fluent faith in routine clinical moments, and explains why he invited her onto the podcast. Daniela shares a current snapshot of her life as a nurse, daughter of the King, and student of ministry.
- 11:30 Childhood in Bolivia: The Bottle and the Divorce
Daniela opens with 1 Peter 5:10, then traces her earliest years in Bolivia, her parents' divorce when she was six, and the first signs of her mother's alcoholism — including the memorable story of emptying a wine bottle and attempting to refill it with Coca-Cola at age seven.
- 36:00 Weekends of Dread: Life Under Two Alcoholics
Her mother remarries another alcoholic, transforming weekends — once a child's delight — into seasons of fear. Daniela describes the verbal and physical abuse that followed, the silence enforced by her mother's threats, and how family members quietly rescued the girls on the worst nights.
- 43:44 A Year of Normal, Then Mexico
A brief season of sobriety, AA, Christian church, and competitive swimming gives Daniela and Nikki a taste of stability before their mother moves them to Mexico, where new friendships rekindle the old patterns — discovered when Daniela finds a hidden bottle of vodka in her mother's boot.
- 47:18 Silence, Survival, and the Father's Pursuit
Physical abuse returns in Mexico; Daniela and Nikki keep three to four years of silence under renewed threats. Michael asks what could have reached a teenager so loyal to her mother, and Daniela explains why no words could break through — and how the Holy Spirit, not clever questions, is the only fisher of wounded souls.
- 1:10:30 Abandoned at Seventeen, Uprooted to The US
At seventeen, their mother packs her bags and leaves. Their father flies from Bolivia, collects the girls, and moves them back to Bolivia — but Daniela carries all the trauma with her. Her father eventually sends her to The US with $500 and an aunt's address, an act she once hated that she now credits with saving her life.
- 1:18:00 Alligator Alley and the Adderall Years
Daniela navigates Naples — working clubs, lying about college, losing direction — until a car accident on Alligator Alley ends with her airlifted in a helicopter feeling an inexplicable surge of glory. The near-death moment gets her into nursing school, but a seven-year Adderall addiction follows as she continues masking unhealed pain.
- 1:26:00 Waymaker: The First Encounter with Presence
In late 2020 a friend brings Daniela to Grow Church; she weeps through 'Waymaker,' recognising the same inexplicable feeling from the helicopter. She begins attending while holding tightly to old habits, until 2021 when she surrenders, joins the Freedom healing group, and begins forgiving her mother one layer at a time.
- 1:35:00 The Theology of Forgiveness and Community
Daniela explains how God — not effort — is the healer, and how community at Grow Church spoke identity and worth over her for the first time. She reflects on the difference between head knowledge and a living relationship with Christ, and on what it means to draw near to God so he draws near to you.
- 1:23:54 April 2024: Her Mother's Death and the Funeral Gift
On April 19, 2024, Daniela learns her mother has died. She recounts the grief, guilt over having blocked her mother's number, and a brief season of anger at God — broken at the funeral when a woman from her mother's last rehab tells her that her mother spoke of her constantly as 'the pastor who preached Jesus to me while I was in chains.'
- 1:57:08 Grieving With God, Not Into Defeat
Daniela traces her path through grief, describing how God gave her grace to function at work while her prayer closet absorbed the tears, and how mourning directed toward the Lord leads to comfort rather than despair. She closes with a direct call to anyone still searching: try God — he is the only source that truly satisfies.
Key takeaways
- 23:24 Hurt people hurt people — but the hurt is not the person. Daniela consistently distinguishes her mother's loving, generous true self from the version of her operating through addiction, and credits that distinction as why forgiveness was possible.
- 35:00 Survival mode prevents a child from processing trauma in real time. Daniela, now a trauma-practitioner student, explains that chronic fight-or-flight neurologically blocks the parts of the brain that reflect, rest, and digest — so the emotional damage from childhood only surfaces in the teens and twenties.
- 53:13 No question or offer — not even from a loving, stable father — could break a child's loyalty to the parent she was trying to save. Michael and Daniela agree: reaching a kid in that situation requires praying for discernment and partnering with the Holy Spirit, not deploying the right words.
- 32:00 Daniela draws a sharp distinction between knowing about Jesus (head knowledge, theological information) and knowing Jesus through personal relationship built in private time with the word and the Spirit — emphasising that no one can build that relationship for another person.
Pull quotes
"The crushing in my life has produced oil, and that oil is for others." Daniela articulates her core theology of redemptive suffering in her opening self-introduction.
When the weekend churrasco (barbecue) was announced, young Daniela felt sick with dread rather than excitement — a vivid image of how a child's nervous system can be conditioned to read ordinary family events as danger signals.
"You see me through the lens you see your mother." The sentence Daniela felt God speak to her in prayer, revealing why she could not trust him — and the turning point toward real healing.
The funeral encounter: a stranger at her mother's service told Daniela that her mother had called her 'the pastor,' touching the woman's arms and sweaty hands to feel close to her absent daughter. The moment confirmed that love and the gospel, offered through years of pain, had reached her mother after all.
"Lost my life to find it in Jesus." Daniela's compressed summary of her conversion, echoing Matthew 16:25.
Scripture & context
- 11:30 1 Peter 5:10 — 'After you have suffered a little while, he himself will restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast.' Daniela opens with this verse as the frame for her entire testimony.
- 28:30 John 4 — the Samaritan woman at the well. Daniela returns to this passage multiple times to illustrate how sequential relationships and highs leave us still thirsty, while Christ offers living water that satisfies once and for all.
- 1:35:00 James 4:8 — 'Draw near to God, and God will draw near to you.' Daniela uses this to explain that healing belongs to God, not to human effort; the believer's role is simply to come close.
- 1:53:00 Jeremiah 29:11 — 'For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.' The verse Daniela clung to after her mother's death to anchor faith when circumstances felt anything but good.
- 1:55:30 Matthew 5:4 — 'Those who mourn will be comforted.' Daniela invokes this beatitude while describing her post-bereavement experience: weeping directed toward God produces comfort, not defeat.
- 1:59:36 Revelation 12:11 — 'They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony.' Michael cites this near the close to affirm that a testimony only comes through a trial — and that sharing it is itself an act of overcoming.
Questions answered
- How did growing up with an alcoholic mother shape Daniela's identity as a child and teenager?
- Daniela absorbed verbal messages — 'you're fat,' 'you're a bastard,' 'why can't you be normal' — during the years when childhood wiring is most formative. Because she was always in fight-or-flight survival mode, the emotional impact was not felt immediately; it surfaced later as a pervasive fear of abandonment, people-pleasing, and an inability to stand up for herself that followed her into her twenties. jump · 19:18
- Why wouldn't Daniela tell her father what was happening at home, even when he clearly knew something was wrong?
- Her mother repeatedly threatened that if either girl told anyone — their father, their family — she would never see them again or would take her own life. As a child wholly devoted to her mother, Daniela chose to endure rather than risk losing the parent she loved most. Even after months with her stable, loving father in Bolivia, she could not be fully present because she was mentally calculating when she could return to protect her mother. jump · 53:13
- What does Daniela say is the best way to reach a teenager who is hiding abuse and has built walls to survive?
- Daniela says no single question or offer can break through those walls — she remained loyal to her mother through everything her father offered. Instead she points to prayer and the Holy Spirit: ask God to show you who is hurting and how to reach them, because the Spirit knows each person and what approach will work. In practice, the people who helped her looked like friends whose mothers took her along to normal family activities, not counselors who named the problem. jump · 53:13
- What was the turning point that first opened Daniela to faith in Christ?
- Two moments converged: a near-death experience on Alligator Alley in her early twenties, when she woke in a medevac helicopter feeling a wave of inexplicable glory, and then a late-2020 evening at Grow Church where she stood in worship during 'Waymaker' and felt the same presence again. She describes the second encounter as the Holy Spirit inviting her in, though it still took until 2021 for her to fully surrender. jump · 1:22:00
- How did Daniela's addiction to Adderall begin, and how did it end?
- Around age 22, someone introduced her to Adderall as a way to feel focused, strong, and adequate — qualities she lacked because of years of emotional damage. The drug masked her pain and she used it for approximately seven years. The addiction ended through what she describes as a sovereign act of deliverance: in 2023 God broke the chain, and the compulsion simply lifted. jump · 1:17:00
- Daniela says she saw her heavenly Father through the lens of her mother — what does she mean?
- When she first tried to follow Jesus she kept running back to familiar habits because she expected God to disappoint or abandon her, just as her mother had. In prayer she felt God reveal this dynamic directly: 'You see me through the lens you see your mother.' Recognising that the wounds of abandonment and rejection were filtering her view of God's character was the breakthrough that freed her to trust him. jump · 1:31:00
- What happened at her mother's funeral that broke Daniela's anger at God?
- A young woman approached Daniela at the funeral and said she had been in rehab with her mother. She explained that Daniela's mother had constantly spoken of her daughter as 'the pastor' and had touched the woman's muscular arms and sweaty hands because they reminded her of Daniela's. This confirmed that the years of preaching Jesus to her mother over painful phone calls had not been wasted — her mother had heard the gospel and kept it close. jump · 1:46:00
- How does Daniela distinguish healthy grieving from grief that leads to defeat?
- She draws on Matthew 5 ('those who mourn will be comforted') and her own experience after her mother's death: she allowed herself to weep and feel, but always brought those emotions to God rather than into self-pity or despair. The difference, she says, is direction — grief carried to the Lord produces comfort and healing, while grief turned inward becomes a pit. She points to Jesus weeping at Lazarus's tomb as evidence that feeling is permitted, but notes that Christ also said 'get up.' jump · 1:55:30
- What does Daniela mean when she says 'the crushing of my life produced oil'?
- She uses the image of olives pressed to produce oil as a metaphor for how suffering, when brought to God, becomes a resource for others. Her healed wounds — the alcoholism she witnessed, the abuse she endured, the addiction she survived — are now the substance of her ministry: she serves in student ministry, has volunteered in a girls' juvenile facility, and shares her story to help others recognize God's redemptive character through pain. jump · 1:58:00
- Why does Daniela say forgiveness of her mother was not primarily for herself?
- She explains that unforgiveness toward her mother would have made it impossible to keep loving her and sharing the gospel with her during the addiction years. Because she chose to forgive — even before her mother changed — she was able to keep answering difficult phone calls and speaking Jesus over her mother. The woman at the funeral confirmed the result: her mother had heard and repeated the message of Christ to others in her final years. jump · 1:50:00
Helpful links
website
- Naples Longevity Clinic The clinic where Daniela works as a registered nurse alongside Dr. Cater, offering a whole-body approach to health and longevity.
ministry
- Grow Church Naples The Naples-based church Daniela attended when she first encountered the Holy Spirit in worship, and where she became a member and began her healing journey.
- Alcoholics Anonymous The program Daniela's mother attended and through which she first encountered a Christian friend who briefly led the family to faith.
video
- Waymaker — Sinach (official lyric video) The worship song playing when Daniela first felt the presence of God at Grow Church and wept for the first time in a sanctuary.
Full transcript
Intro voiceover: I learned the hard way. Nothing's overnight. Some days you lose, some days you survive. Still Strong. Even moving slow, every step counts more than you know. Found gold in the everyday. Showing up and staying brave.
Michael Vance: Still Strong. Daniela Satt, welcome to the podcast.
Daniela Satt: Thank you so much. It's such an honor. Yeah. I've looking To be here. I've been looking forward to this one. Yeah. Thank you for trusting me with your audience.
Michael Vance: Yeah. I've been praying over this one for the past week. Okay. And yeah, kinda like butterflies in my stomach. No. We're gonna talk about that's good. It's if you don't feel it, then I guess it's good to have some nervous energy. I'm feeling it right now. So, Daniella, normally, I give people a proper introduction, but I'm a mix it up this week. Okay. I'm bad with dates, but I'm a say anywhere from six months ago to a year ago, I, had just turned 50, and I just wanna make sure that I was healthy. You hear about these mineral deficiencies, you know, the things become your new normal. Like, I I was felt like I was tired. Didn't know if my testosterone was low, so I was like, I need to find somebody. I used my ChadGBT. I found Naples Longevity Clinic. Let's
Daniela Satt: go.
Michael Vance: That's how I met you. Yes. And so I met doctor Cater down there, and Ben has been, you know, hooking me up, doing my blood work. And you're the one you draw my blood. I remember I had that that monitor there that fell off, like, three or four times. Yeah. That blood sugar monitor, you you applied it. Yeah. But just, being around you briefly, like, just in those mund mundane moments, I noticed that there's something about you that was different. The first thing I noticed about you that was different was you have scripture in your heart, girl. Like, I think the first time I had mentioned something I live by this. First time I had mentioned something, you're quoting scripture. Yeah. I think third or fourth visit, you and I had a conversation. I have a bad memory. You and I had a conversation. We connected a little bit. I said, hey. I'm doing this podcast called Still Strong. It's about overcoming life adversity. It's about me at 50 being strong for my family, not just physically, but spiritually, emotionally, everything that I'm supposed to be. And you said, I got a Still Strong story, and you kinda, like, gave me a little a mini version of it. Yeah. That's why you're here. Yeah. We're going to go through your life story of how what it was like in your childhood growing up and how looking back how you see God protected you and carried you. The theme is Still Strong, not untouched. Your life has not been untouched. Yeah. Not unbroken. Yeah. You've had a lot of broken moments Yeah. But Still Strong. Yeah. And where's your where did your strength come from? So that's the the dynamic. But before we get into it, I'm gonna take care of two things. One Okay. Everybody that comes on the podcast gets a Still Strong hat. Yay. These are Richardson one twelves. My kids tell me they're the best. So Thank you. When you and I had a conversation on Wednesday and I got the mini version of your story, I like that's a Still Strong story. So when you when you go to the gym, wear that. Send me a picture. I will. Absolutely. Heavy deadlift, I wanna see a picture of you wearing that hat. When I'm squatting? Yep. I think, it's not scientifically proven yet, but I'm I'm almost sure, like, you get 10% stronger just by wearing that. Oh, good. I do. Good. Because I'm back at lifting heavy. Are you? So oh, heck yeah. So let's talk about it. What's your heavy lifts? What are doing? I don't wanna talk I'm I'm getting back into it. No. You already said it, so you're already in. It's we don't we don't edit. So what are you doing? What's your squat? Okay. My squat is, like it's not that heavy. My deadlift is heavy. What is it? Two twenty five. Two twenty five deadlift? That's not bad. Is relative. Yeah. Heavy is relative to you. So I interviewed a guy named Vadim. He's an Olympic weightlifter. Oh, wow. He can, snatch, like, 400 pounds. But he's like, Keith, like, heavy is relative towards your age, your capabilities, to your your weight. So Your height. Your height. So two twenty five is a good deadlift. It is. What's your squat?
Daniela Satt: Muscle manos. Muscle manos, I would say, like,
Michael Vance: one fifty ish That's good. With help Yeah. With a good spotter. I'm a Libby? I'm a weak squatter. I'm actually at 50. I'm actually squatting the most I ever have, and it's still weak, just my body mechanics. Yeah.
Daniela Satt: But it's never too late to to try and then Yeah. And, honestly, like, weightlifting is the best investment you can do for longevity because muscle, bone density, you know, you wanna get your eighties with a good amount of muscle that will give you some energy and some structure and health. So I deal with I know we're talking about life, but, hey, weightlifting.
Michael Vance: That's a whole another podcast. And so I love I love that. I love talking about that kind of stuff. Yeah. Because I love is our passion. Far I can go. Yeah. Yeah. So briefly Yeah. What are you doing nowadays? What's your career? What do you do? We just talked about your fitness. Just give us like, who's who's Daniela today? Today,
Daniela Satt: Daniela is, I would consider, a woman of God who has fallen in love with Jesus through the tough moments, through the fun moments, through the challenging moments in my life. I gave my life to him in 2021. When I met him, I was completely broken and hopeless. And little by little, he started healing me. He started healing me. He started redeeming my story. He started transforming me. He start he started renewing my mind and teaching me who I was in his eyes, teaching me my value, my worth. So today, I do get to say that I am a daughter of the king, and I walk in that confidence and that authority of who he says I am. So that's number one who I am. Like, my identity is in Jesus. Second of all, I'm an I'm a registered nurse. I work at an amazing clinic, Naples Longevity Clinic. I work alongside an amazing doctor who is very compassionate and super smart. So we do we do life together at work. It's really fun. We help people, get healthier in a truthful way. We look at the whole body approach. So that's what I do for work. I love church. I love my church. I love my community. I love serving my church, and, I love learning what ministry is all about. Ministry has nothing to do with us, but what the Lord has given us to give to others. Ministry for me now is my wounds. How am I using those healed wounds to impact others? You know, the crushing in my life has produced oil, and that oil is for others. So, that's another part of who I am today. So daughter of the king and iron working in longevity and doing ministry on the side. I love working out. I love eating healthy. I love stewarding my body. That's what the Lord calls us to do, to steward our body because it's the temple of the Holy Spirit, and we get to worship him with our body and with our lifestyle. So I get to do that too in life. So today, I'm a happy girl that is just learning to follow Jesus in every way, obeying the word the best of my ability, obey obeying his word, which sometimes is uncomfortable or has a cost. But, yeah, I get to live life from his love for his people and using every opportunity to truly just bring heaven down to earth. Like, if you truly understand that the kingdom of heaven is in us, your your mind changes. You have a different perspective of how to do life. You can be the only reason why someone is saved or why you bring love to someone or hope to someone. So just I'm learning to live life from that perspective. Lost my life to find it in Jesus. So that's that's where I'm at today.
Michael Vance: About five minutes ago, had some nervous energy. Not anymore. It's gone. It's gone. Like Holy ghost is here. Like, each one of those things you talked about, I I felt it, and I wanted to cut you off. I wanted to, like, start start getting after it. So this is gonna be a good conversation. There's another thing that you like to do that you didn't mention. You're gonna be flying out Miami Airport here shortly. Yes. I'll be traveling. To travel?
Daniela Satt: So I'll be so honest. I do, but at the same time, I love my routine. I love I'm a huge like, your morning routine starts at nighttime. I'm very disciplined. Oh, yeah. So I love my quiet time in the morning. I love my prayer, my worship, my gym time. So I love to travel, but I love my routine. So every time I travel, I'm like, ah. Then I have to come back and get back to back back on track back on track. But I do love to travel.
Michael Vance: I can identify with that. Can you? Because, when we take family vacations Mhmm. It takes me it used to take me a week to decompress. Mhmm. Now I can decompress in three days Yeah. Just because I don't like being out of my routine. Yeah. Like, it takes me three days just to Yeah. Get to a point where I can, okay. This is this is what it is. Let's go with the flow. Yeah. And it used to be not fun for everybody in my family. Like, I have to have things just like that. So at 50 years old, our family's getting bigger. I'm realizing that I never had control to begin with, so just learn to roll with it and be in the moment. That's it's I I like routine. I like the things. And when things get out of whack for me, I'm not a happy person. So God's been working that out of me. Same.
Daniela Satt: He's been working out of me, but Yeah. Yeah. It's rough. What I'm learning is that we serve a God of excellence. We honor him with our lifestyle, but we also serve a God that is fun. And he has, like, creation, like different countries, the ocean. That's something he created for us to experience, for us to enjoy. So, of course, I honor him with my routine, but I also honor him by enjoying his creation. So I'm learning to find the balance between when to do that, how to do that. I can be very, like, disciplined, but then he's like, my daughter, have fun. So it's just finding the balance of that.
Michael Vance: That's good. And I didn't I didn't mean to drill down on this Yeah. But it's con converses as well. So some people, they're always looking for the fun moments Mm-mm. And have no routine, have no stability, don't don't have the rent covered, they're going on vacation. That just puts a knot in my stomach. So there's taking care of our responsibilities. Yeah. But you know what? Take a day off, relax, breathe, enjoy life. There's there there's balance there and being sensitive to those times in life where, you know what? You're right. I do need to relax, take a break. But if it's if it's not a season of of rest and it's a season of work, stay in the season of work because rest will come. So just knowing what season to be in at the appropriate time, the right time, I think is important. Yeah. Such a good point. Yeah. Thank you for sharing that. That was that helped me just now in the moment. Alright, girl. You ready to get it? Yeah. Okay. So we talked about Daniela now. Where are you at now? Yeah. Yeah. But it hasn't always been like that. Yeah. So let's start with your childhood. What was it like growing up for you? You have a unique story. I mean, I know a little bit of it. So let's just slowly in the moment, let's go back in time to those first memories that that you had as a child. Describe life growing up and those those transitions in life. So before I start,
Daniela Satt: this morning, I was praying, and the Lord gave me a verse. Let's hear it. So he gave me a verse, and I'll read it because that will set the tone for what I'm going to share. And that is in first Peter five verse 10. And it says, and the God of all grace who call you to his eternal glory in Christ after you have suffered a little while. He himself will restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast. To him be the power forever and ever, a man. So I was praying this morning, this verse came to mind. And I'm like, yes. I've been through so much yet. It is through, though, that pain, through that struggle that he himself restored me. You know, sometimes God uses pain to restore us. So I pray that everyone who's watching and listening get to see that character of God in my story. Not only the trauma, but how he showed up, how he carried me through, how he healed me, how he was always there. So with that being said,
Daniela Satt: so my parents, met at University of Arizona. My dad is Bolivian. My mom's Mexican. They both were international students, and they both went to study abroad there. They met there, fell in love there, and eventually got married and moved to Miami. There is where I was born. And a few years after or a little time after, they moved to Bolivia. So we lived in Bolivia. My sister was born.
Michael Vance: And just for those of you who are watching this, she's off camera.
Daniela Satt: Nick, she's still sitting here. Right here. Yes. She's here for moral support. Yeah. You know, something my mom always told me, and my sister is like, you will always have each other. And I think she prophesied that over her life. She was like, people will come, people will go, but you will always have each other. And remember, she would always say that. So she's here today. It's an honor. So my family, we lived in Bolivia. When I was around six years old, my parents got a divorce. My parents got a divorce because there was, my mom was drinking a lot more than she should, and that led to the marriage being broken among other things, obviously, but that was one of the main reasons why they got a divorce. So my parents get a divorce. Me and my sister live with my mom during weekdays, and we would see my dad during the weekends. So I'm six, seven years old, and mom was drinking a lot. We, unfortunately, witnessed my mom doing things that no girl wants to see, like your mom throwing up or getting into a fight with someone and things like that. I remember I remember I I was probably seven, and I remember whatever was in that bottle, whatever she was drinking was making mom act weird. To us a little girl, I'm like, the bottle is the fault. Whatever's in that bottle carries the fault. So I remember grabbing that bottle of wine, which at at that time, I had no idea what it was. And I remember, emptying on the kitchen sink. And I don't know. Back then, we used to drink a lot of Coke, Coca Cola. I don't know if everyone, but we have, like, the big bottles of Coca Cola. And as a little girl, I remember trying to put the Coca Cola in the bottle of wine, and it didn't work. So I freaked out for a bit, but then my project ended there. But since back then, I remember because the the wine bottle popped in bottle. Yeah. And And you are seven years old. I'm, like, trying to figure that out. Think to call your sister and say, hey, sister. Go get me a funnel. She was so young. She was too little? She was, like, two years younger. K. Alright. But you know? And, also, like, the carbonation, and there was a soda. I was so innocent. You know? I do know what I was doing. But at that time, there was a lot of alcohol going on. We were so blessed to have two mates in Bolivia that lived in our home with my sister and my mom and myself, and they would they were they were they were a heavenly blessing because they were helping us through all the time while she was drinking. They were just taking care of us, helping us get ready for school. Sometimes they would take us to guitar lessons and to the dentist and just certain appointments.
Michael Vance: So when you were when you were telling me this story, I got the impression that based on the culture, your family was probably a little more well off than the rest because you said you had We were blessed. Yes. You had We were blessed. People in the house to take care of some things. So That's more common in Bolivia Is it? Than in The US. Yes. Got it. Yeah. That's more common,
Daniela Satt: but we were blessed. Yes. We were definitely blessed.
Michael Vance: Your mother, did you ever feel like she didn't love you? Did she have a mother's love and just she was just fighting some demons? Did she Absolutely.
Daniela Satt: If you knew my mom, my mom was the most joyful, funny person. She was she had such a servant heart. We the maid had children. And whenever she would buy us Burger King or any Easter gift, Christmas gift, she would treat them exactly the same. She would buy the kids gifts. She would take us to a concert. The kids were would go with us. The the maid would go with us. She would involve them. She had such a servant heart, such a loving heart. She was amazing. Like, when we were in her funeral, we'll talk about it later, we had so many amazing memories of her. She was so loving that we were regulars at a restaurant. This woman, we would get to the restaurant, and she would give a kiss to every server. Like, whichever server would walk by, she was like, and she would, like, just, like, say hi with a kiss. So that was her. She was so loving. She was so fun. She was so joyful, yet she was dealing with unhealed trauma. She was dealing with her own, like you said, demons, open doors.
Michael Vance: K. Yeah.
Daniela Satt: So she was I believe alcohol became her way out
Michael Vance: from pain. She was escaping pain. She was escaping pain. And we can get into this, but that's what you think because I I have to ask because Yeah. When you and I talked the other day, I just had this picture of this woman that just loved everybody. Oh, everyone. But then there was this other side that you start talking about. I'm like, these two worlds don't fix. So she's alcohol is her escape from whatever it is that's Yeah. She's struggling with. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. You know, when you're broken,
Daniela Satt: it's really hard to sit in that brokenness. So you're searching highs. You're searching for something that will will take care of that moment. You're looking for something that will numb the pain, and you fall into that trap. So for her, was alcohol at first, and she fell into the trap of, like, going to alcohol as a resource for healing or just escape.
Michael Vance: K. Yeah. So at seven years old
Daniela Satt: Seven, eight. Yeah. You're
Michael Vance: you have this mom that loves you. Mhmm. But then there's these shifts in in who she is. And and at seven years old, you're saying, hey. Whatever's in that bottle is not good for mom. So you try so you're trying to remedy it in your own seven year old mind Yeah. Right, at seven years old?
Daniela Satt: Yeah. Okay. Just like that, there's more memories, you know, of her throwing up and things like that that I know little girl should be witnessing just because it does bring trauma to your heart. You know? But little by little, things did get worse and worse. Then emotional abuse came into the picture. Verbal abuse came into the picture.
Michael Vance: Let's talk about some of those things I think that does escalate.
Daniela Satt: So Yeah. It does. Sin
Michael Vance: you know, you got your bible there. Sin doesn't stay confined in a box. Your mother's I'll call it sin didn't just affect her. We're gonna see how it affected you Yeah. Affected your sister. We're gonna see how it just it gets chaotic fast. It doesn't it doesn't stay contained. Yeah. And also, sin bring invites other sin. Yeah. So we're getting ready to talk about some verbal abuse and some other things. So I just let's just take our time, and let's paint this picture for this seven, eight, nine, 10 year old girl Yeah. Who's trying to make sense of it. Yeah. So Just like you said, sin can become like a domino effect one after the other. You know? And And it affects the ones that you love the most Yeah. Which is a sad thing. Yeah. It's the sad thing. The ones you love the most, the ones you're supposed to be protecting and caring for is the ones that are most affected by it. Because you have such proximity with them. Right? Yeah.
Daniela Satt: So, yeah, there was, words of, like, if you tell your dad that I'm drinking, you're you're never gonna see me again. And I think at that time, those phrases truly took hold of my heart. So since that moment, I started saying I need to endure whatever is going on in this house because I don't wanna lose my mom. You know? So I would do anything she would say just for her to love me, for her not to leave because, I mean, things were so unstable. One day, I see the loving version of her, and one day, I see the drunk version of her. So I didn't know who who was going to show up. So Daniela needed to be on her perfect behavior, obeying everything as a little girl, you know, not sharing anything with anyone because I don't wanna upset mom, and I don't want her to ever leave me. And just with that, I lived that mindset for so many years, and we'll get to it after. But, like, that mindset of, like, policing and not standing up for myself and letting and being a doormat followed me into my twenties. K. Followed me. But going back to, like, seven and eight years old, there was that. There was also verbal abuse. I believe that. I carry no offense or unforgiveness towards my mom. I do believe the product of alcohol and brokenness leads people to say things that they truly don't mean. No mom in her right mind would tell her daughter things that are not you're worthy. You're lovable. But sometimes she'll be like, you're fat. Or she'll be like, you're a bastard. I hate you. Get out of the way. Why can't you be normal, Daniella? Things like that that I kept hearing. And at first, they were shocking, but then it kinda became, like, normal. Like, especially, like, why why can't you be normal? And I'm like, I don't know. I'm just living here for the first time kinda thing. So I wanna make sure
Michael Vance: you and I talked on the other room. I just wanna make sure that people don't get the impression that we're your mom's not here in this room. Yeah. So we're not slandering your mom. We're not talking about her, but this is your story, and this is the reality of it. Yeah. So I'm thankful that you're in the place in your life that you can talk about these things that don't put your mom in a good light. Yeah. Because one is therapy for you to talk about it. But two, what are the odds that someone else is living this right now? Yeah. And the whole point of this is to be able to put it out there. So if somebody's living this Yeah. They can connect some dots and that possibly God would use this to create some some change in that dynamic. Yeah. So thank you for
Daniela Satt: what you just said even though it doesn't make your mom look good. No. But it was not her, though. Like, I do wanna put an emphasis on that. When she was in her right mind, she was so precious, so precious, so loved. But when alcoholism takes over and this can happen to so many people. When your addiction takes over, when your brokenness takes over, when your pain takes over, you'll hurt people. Hurt people hurt people. So it had nothing to do with her but whatever was operating through her. That's why it was so easy to forgive her because I knew it was not her. Like I said before, no human in the right mind would ever do that. Especially a mother. Especially a mother. So I knew it was not like, now I know it was not her. It was the heard version of her. Maybe the inner child in her that was screaming for love or attention. You never truly know why someone is acting a certain way, but I don't believe it comes when you act a certain way that is not honoring or edifying others, it's not coming from a good place.
Michael Vance: The other question is you're just a girl. Yeah. When your own mother is saying these things to you, where does that go? Because that if my mom thinks this about me, then that must be true. Yeah. Can we just maybe shift the conversation to that for now? Just and then we'll get back on track. Yeah. So when your mom's saying that stuff, I I didn't realize
Michael Vance: Michael, how many these podcasts have we done? 21. K. 21.
Daniela Satt: Wow. Praise the Lord.
Michael Vance: And not very many.
Michael Vance: Out of 21 podcast, the majority of them I haven't heard really a normal childhood story yet, Daniella. Out of 21, I haven't really heard, oh, that was a good childhood. The other thing that happens in in our childhood is and you know this because you're a nurse. You know it better than me. But you know why your insurance drops at twenty five? Your vehicle insurance drops at twenty five? Mm-mm. Because at 25, your brain is fully wired up. Mhmm. That's by 25, the person who you are is who you are. Yeah. So, in the most of the hardwiring is between, like, the ages five to seven to nine. That's when you're like Yeah. When you talk, like, the things that come back to haunt you, the things that you deal with in your adulthood are those things that your mom told you when you're between five, seven, and nine. Yep. That becomes who you are. Yep. And it just blows my mind that when you need the most nurturing, the most speaking life into a child so they can go out and be a fulfilled human being productive and all good stuff Yeah. I would say that most of people who've been on this podcast didn't get that. Yeah. I don't know what the answer is other than just to have these conversations Yeah. Just to have these conversations.
Daniela Satt: Or possibly following Christ as a parent. You know? That's the only answer. I believe so because you don't know truly how to love until you receive the love of Christ. We can only love to such capacity on our own strength, and it's when we receive the love of the father
Michael Vance: that we can be an overflow from it. Okay. So you just hit something, and we're just living in the moment. We may never get the end of the story, but you just hit something. We just hit something good Yeah. Because you don't appreciate the light unless there's darkness. Mhmm. You don't appreciate God's love unless you've experienced lack of a father's love or a parent's love. Like, it just makes when you when you experience his love Oh. Something that you didn't get from who you should be getting, it just makes it that much more precious and glorious, doesn't it? Yep. There's something going back. Maybe there's something here. Yeah. I think that,
Daniela Satt: of course, my parents loved me, but the father's love is a complete different form of love. It's an unconditional love that will always choose you and will always put you first and will satisfy you. That's why people may think, why did she met Jesus. She said, Jesus freak. No. I've experienced lack. I've experienced hell, and I get to experience his love now. I'm not gonna change that for anything. It's a love that truly satisfies and leaves you never thirsty again. Because when you're broken, you're looking for highs. You're looking to find love in the wrong places, and that's how I lived all my twenties. Like, the big part of my twenties, searching for love in the wrong places, whether in relationship, in shopping, in travel, in my body, in my body image, in the gym, in drugs, in alcohol, searching for something. And that that we're looking for when we're searching for a high is just his love. Yet we're searching. We're opening all these doors, all these windows, grabbing, trying, tasting. Nothing satisfies. We're searching highs. Nothing satisfies but his love. The springs of living water, Jesus tells the Samaritan woman, I have water that will satisfy and leave and will never leave you thirsty again. And that's Jesus. That's his love. That is the father's love.
Michael Vance: And, again, the ironic thing is
Michael Vance: that woman was thirsty. She was searching, wasn't she? Yeah. Her her life was not a life defined by what you would consider a good woman to be. Yeah. Yet. She was searching, yet,
Daniela Satt: Christ met her where she was at. Yep. Yeah. Something I learned about that story really quick because this is part of my testimony. Like, I will look for validation in people or relationships or in friendships, and I would you know, if this person wouldn't film me, I would go to the next one. And one time I've studied the Samaritan woman so many times. And one of the times where I was studying when I was studying that piece of scripture is that she had five husbands, and then she had another partner she was living with. And what that showed me is, like, do you see the life of this woman one relationship after the other? One didn't satisfy her. She jumped into the other. One didn't sat the other one didn't satisfy her. She jumped into the other until she met the true source of love, the true source of life, which is Jesus Christ. So many of us are going from relationship to the other thinking that this one didn't heal heal me or this one didn't satisfy me. Yet we we jump to the other one hoping in the other one when our hope is in Jesus. Our hope to live a life of fulfillment is Jesus. You know? And that's something that stood with me about the Samaritan woman. Like, she had all these relationships, yet Jesus is the first one and the only one that truly satisfied her.
Michael Vance: Again, I'm just rolling with this. We I know. We we're not following the script. Holy Spirit. Said that we were gonna live in the moment. We're gonna live in the moment. So I, I'm gonna have him on the podcast.
Michael Vance: Guy's name is Brandon Saint Pierre. Mhmm. I'm a let him tell his story. I'm not gonna take that from him. Mhmm. But I go with him to a jail ministry on Thursday nights, and I go with him to foster care Mhmm. Every other week on Friday. And, he has a story similar to yours, like, searching for everything Mhmm. Not finding it. Yep. And then once you taste it, you just wanna, like, eat people's head against the walls. Like, just just try it. Just try this water. Like, woman of the world, just try this water. But we can't force people. Right? You can't force people. People have to come to those conclusions on their own, and God is patient. He is kind, and he in his timing. Right? Yeah. But I think just having these conversations, oh, taste and see that the that God is good. The Lord is good. That's the scripture that came to mind. But you gotta be the one to taste it. Yep. We can't shove it in your mouth. You gotta be the one taste it. But having tasted it, everything else is
Daniela Satt: is like tasting dirt. Yeah. I mean, there's a difference between having the knowledge. You can have the head knowledge. You can know scripture. You know, you can have theological knowledge of Jesus, but knowing Jesus Right. Having a relationship with him is personal. It comes through reading the word. It comes through the spirit of revelation speaking to you whatever the Lord wants to speak to you. It comes with getting to know his character through the letters. So there is a difference between knowing Jesus and coming into a relationship with him and truly having that relationship of knowing him. And again And we can give that to someone. That comes with our own private personal time. You know? Just like in marriage, you know, like, you build a relationship with your wife through those intimate moments day to day showing up for each other is the same with the Lord. No one can do it for you. No one can build a marriage for you. Just like your relationship with Christ, no one can do it for you. Only you can do it with Him. So we can't
Michael Vance: I'm gonna make one more comment. Go ahead. And then we're gonna go back to Tell him. Your story. Okay. But when you talk about relationship and God's word Mhmm. That's why you're sitting here because you didn't just quote scripture from an intellectual point of view for me. When you're talking it, I felt it. I felt it. And that's why you're sitting here because, like, you know what? This girl is living this.
Daniela Satt: And I need to and I need to know rest of it. The word set me free. Yeah. The word of God transformed me. The word of God sanctified me. The word of God washed me from every wrong belief that I had, from every lie I believe, from every form of unworthiness or doubt. This word is what truly set me free. His word himself, the word is God. So coming into relationship with him, seeking him day and night, day and night, day and night, day and night, this is what transformed my life. Of course, him, but this is what transformed my soul. When you received Christ as your savior, his spirit dwells in you, but your soul needs to catch up with your spirit. So this is truly truly what truly cleansed my soul. Little and it's a sanctification process until the day we see him face to face. It's a process. You know, I'm still being sanctified. I'm nowhere to be perfect. You know, I'm still growing. My character is being purified. Just like fat well, like, gold with fire, I'm still being purified, but all for his glory.
Michael Vance: So let's get back on what you're supposed to do. Okay. We just jumped ahead to the good part. Jesus is the good part. Yeah. Yeah. We just we just did. Let's go back to the childhood. Let's go let's let's set the stage of everything that you went through, and then, like, let's just let's keep going. Okay. So childhood,
Daniela Satt: there's alcohol. There's words. There's emotional abuse. And at that time, you asked me before we went Right. And spoke about this. You said, how did it impact you? It didn't. I didn't I didn't see the fruit of the impact of it till later in my teens or twenties. Okay. So I didn't see that that until later. Okay. I was on survival mode for so many years as a child. So when you're on survival mode, you don't have the time to rest and digest and be like, oh. You know? So
Michael Vance: there's something called That's an important thing. When you're in survival mode, you're processing things. You're just trying got it. Because I actually
Daniela Satt: I just started school to be a trauma practitioner. I wanna help people walk them through the trauma and lead them to healing through, of course, anatomy and physiology, but also the word of God and the power of the spirit. So I was learning. Like, this week literally was my first class. And I learned that the brain, when you suffer trauma, the part that thinks gets blocked. So then your your sympathetic nervous system is, like, spiked. So when you're enduring trauma and if it's constant trauma, ongoing trauma, you're always on that fight and flight mode. So you can't think really clear. You can rest and digest and meditate. You know? So my rest and digest part of my nervous system was Not operating. Was she was she was sleeping. Because fight and flight, I was always on fight and flight. So I didn't see the impact of it because I was surviving. So we had good days. We had bad days. She's drinking. My dad's in the picture, but he doesn't know much of what's going on in the house with me and my sister. Because you're keeping it quiet for me because your mom is saying, hey. Yeah. And as a little girl, you always draw to mom. You know? So then actively drinking meets a man. They get married. So two alcoholics get married. I won't go in deep about this, just surface level. But two alcoholics get married, so that's
Michael Vance: hell breaks loose. How old are you and your sister this time? How old were we?
Daniela Satt: My sister was eight, so I was 10. That all breaks loose to the point where I remember. Weekdays were okay, but the weekend is coming. And I hear the word, which means we're gonna grill this weekend. Oh, I wanted to throw up because I knew what churrasco meant. Churrasco meant pool party with lots of alcohol and abuse and physical abuse after. So every weekend was hell would break loose. That's all I'm a say. So when a normal kid is looking forward to the weekend No. No. No. No. No. No. You're No. You're getting a knot in your stomach. You're you're you're getting geared up for Mm-mm. So To the point that family members would rescue us and would be like, oh, this weekend, come sleep with us.
Michael Vance: Yeah.
Daniela Satt: So that marriage was very, very abusive verbally, physically.
Michael Vance: So the fact that we're not allowed to walk into that room and talk about it Mhmm. Tells me that that was a dark place.
Daniela Satt: It was a dark place. I believe the Lord has healed me, and I've I've worked it. I worked on that, but I wanna honor the people that were part of it. Understood. So I I really don't wanna share much, although it was it was it was it was hard. It was really hard for me and my sister. We would have to lock ourselves in the room many times and protect ourselves. Like, two little girls, eight and 10 protecting themselves.
Michael Vance: So Let me just ask you just a general and just Mhmm. Speak in generalities. So it's Thursday, Friday. Barbecue time is coming. Mm-mm. Emotionally, like, all that stuff. Did you guys have a conversations? Like, what would you getting ready for the weekend, would you withdraw? Would you try to hide? Like, what like, just walk me through the process of surviving the weekend as a 10 year old girl.
Daniela Satt: Just in just in general, like, what's going on in your survival mode in your survival mode? What are you what are you going through as as a terrible nervous. I just I didn't even understand emotions at a time, but I had anxiety. I was nervous. I was freaking out. Super, like, observing every move they would make because I'm like, when is hell gonna break loose? You're just, like, on edge. But at that time, you're a child. No one teaches you emotions at 10 year olds, so I didn't know how to manage that. I didn't know how to how to process that. What I do remember is that we were Catholic at a time, and I was on my knees a lot. I don't even know what I was praying, but we would go to the Catholic church to mass. I was an altar girl at the time, I think. Yeah. Yeah. I was an altar girl at the time, and I knew there was a god who was sovereign and powerful and big. Yeah. I didn't know him that much, but at the same time, I knew that if I would get on my knees, he would hear me. So I have visions of just memories of being in that house and being on my knees and just, like, praying. That was a way out for me. I knew things were not good, and all I can do was pray. All I could do at that time was pray.
Michael Vance: And that's what you did. That was Yeah. That was an escape mechanism. Like, your mom was using alcohol as an escape mechanism. Yeah. And that's what I'm trying to get at. How did your brain protect yourself? What was the escape mechanism for that 10 year old girl? The weekend's coming. There's chaos, and it was to lock yourself in a room and to Well to pray to a god that you didn't quite understand. That was okay. Yeah. Definitely. But, also,
Daniela Satt: I was talking with my sister about this. I was hurting, so I was mean to her sometimes. So hurt people hurt people. So I do remember being rude to my sister. So I was taking my hurt on her, and she she can testify to that. Right? Like That was really Yeah. She she I probably traumatized her in some ways. You know? So I was 10 years old. I was hurting, so I would say mean things to her. So monkey see, monkey repeat. Yeah. So what I was witnessing, what I was experiencing, I was doing it to my sister. Trauma can be passed down generations
Michael Vance: Yeah. And heal trauma. I'm I'm finding that out. Yeah. I I'm understanding that. Yeah.
Daniela Satt: So we're in the house. Things are not good. My dad gives my mom an ultimatum because it got to the point where one time my dad was in Italy, and things were very unwell in the house. So I remember my dad gave me, like, a super old phone. I was I was a child. So and I had a phone to call him, and I was like, dad, my dad was in Italy. I'm like, dad, we need you. So I believe after that, there was a breaking point where my dad told my mom, if you don't get it together, I'm taking them away from you. And at that time, of course, me and my sister wanna be with mom. We will fight for mom. So mom got it together, and they got a divorce. She became sober for a period of time. She started going to Al Anon I mean, AA. Was your mom mad at you for telling your dad because she told you she told you I don't think so because She told you not tell your dad. It was obvious, though. It got to a point where he would come to pick us up, and things were really bad. So it was So she, even though at this point, is out of control? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She knew it was out of control. So she Yeah. It was obvious. In her mind, okay. This is a a a good opportunity for me to reset. Yeah. Okay. So I didn't say much. I think it was speaking for itself. Got it. Breaking point, divorce. Mom goes
Michael Vance: minute. I just had a thought. Okay.
Daniela Satt: Did she tell did your mom tell You're asking questions. I was eight. I don't remember.
Michael Vance: Did your mom I am just just thinking because did your mom tell her then husband, say, hey. My ex husband says
Daniela Satt: I have no idea. Divorce you, so you gotta go. Like, that would be like, man, I would love He got so bad that it was obvious for everybody that Yeah. Yeah. Like, people knew. Even people who would come to the weekend celebrations, it's too obvious. Too much. People will take us with them. Yeah. They will rescue us. Come with us. We'll bring you back later. Mhmm. Random people were just taking you. Okay. Random people are family members. They knew how weekends were gonna be like, so they would they would pick us up and take us to sleep. Mostly my aunt and my uncle with my cousins. We would spend a lot of weekends with them Good. Which was a saving grace at a time. So that period of time is over. My mom started going to AA, Authomolic Anonymous, and there she meets a Christian person. So she's we started going to the Christian church, and me and my sister are, like, living. It it was good. We got baptized. I think I was 12. We started going to the Christian church. I started doing Sunday school, but it didn't last long. How long did that last? Probably, like, months. Okay. One year.
Michael Vance: So for one for one year, you had a break. Yeah. You experienced what
Daniela Satt: normalcy feels like. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. We went to Christian retreats. We would go to church. We got baptized. Life was good. And then we would see my dad during the weekends. We were in school. I was swimming at a time. We were both swimming, competing, traveling. Great community of swimmers. It was a really, really fun,
Michael Vance: year. Good. You got a little respite. Yes. We did.
Daniela Satt: And then as I said, my mom's Mexican. So she decided to move to Mexico with my sister, Amy. So I'm, like, 12, 13. So I'm four 13, 14. Whatever she says, you have to repeat it because they can't hear her. Yeah. Oh, okay. So just if she talks, just Okay. If it's if it's important, does not better chronological
Michael Vance: memory. I'm glad you're here. Yeah. I'm glad you're here.
Daniela Satt: K. So Mexico. So we moved to Mexico. My mom's side of the family is beautiful. I love them. I love them. She has a lot of sisters. I have a lot of cousins, one male cousin and, like, 20 female cousins. So we moved with mom to Mexico, and it was it was good at first. It was beautiful. We were with my grandma and my cousins, my aunts, building a new life sober until Supposed to be a fresh start. Fresh start. Yeah. Fresh start that didn't last long. So I believe that who you surround yourself with plays such a big role in your life. So one person, one bad influence can take you down the wrong path. Yeah. So she made strange friendships, so mom started acting different. And at that time, I remember I was 14, 15. And me and my mom were the same height, same same body type, athletic, and I started borrowing her clothes. And things were good. I started borrowing her clothes, and I remember she had this pair of high knee boots that I loved. And I was gonna go somewhere.
Michael Vance: And I can relate to this. Listen. I got seven kids. Five of them are girls. They wear your wife's clothes? Do you know how many times my wife goes into her closet and, like, where's my shoes? Where's my brush? Where's my this or that? And now fun. And now the sisters are wearing each other's clothes Oh, yeah. And they get mad. They'll be like, take my those that's my shirt. Take it off. Yeah. And then the next week, the other sisters borrow the other ones, and they're like they go back and forth. So It's love. That's called love. And I just sit back and just I just sit back and like That's pure love. I just get mad at my two sons for for moving out so soon. Left me while these girls in the house. Oh lord. Like, the whole the whole shift in the house changed, man. So fun, though. Girls are so much fun.
Daniela Satt: So I remember probably I'm 14, 15, and I'm putting this boot on. And as I'm trying to put the boots on, there's something in the boot. And I'm like, what is this? So I take a bottle of vodka out, and I was like, oh, no. Of course, in that moment, like, my stomach, you know, like, roller coaster feeling. Came back.
Michael Vance: Oh came back.
Daniela Satt: Well, unhealed trauma was triggered. I didn't say anything.
Michael Vance: Then I remember I gotta ask you one more question. Yeah. That year that you were in church and your mom was in AA and life was good, was that in Bolivia?
Daniela Satt: In Bolivia. And then we'd remember I said she decided to move to Mexico? So we were having a good life in Mexico as well. When she moved to Mexico Mhmm. Were you guys involved in church there as well? We went to a Christian church for a bit. But it it fell off. It didn't it didn't last long. Yeah. My family is Catholic. Okay. So at that time, we were Christian. So we try to do we try to go to the Christian church, but then eventually went back to Catholic church again. Okay. So your stability is just slowly Yeah. Slowly eroding away. And then I believe it was the the relationships, though. Understood. Understood.
Michael Vance: No. Got it. Yeah. You you said that strange people started coming around. Yeah. You put your mom's boot on. I'm like,
Daniela Satt: here we go again. Freaked out. Put it back there. Pretend I didn't see it. And then I started noticing things again because I was I think I was back to rest and digest, calm. But when that was triggered, then I was super observant, super vigilant, super, like, analyzing every move. Overnight. Yeah. It just came back. It just came back. Fight or flight came back just like that. So then I would, like, just you you just I just started paying more attention, so I was so much more aware of what was going on. So little by little, things started to happen. Things started to change, and I started noticing. My sister started noticing The verbal and emotional abuse came back. Physical abuse came into the picture. And, yeah, physical abuse came into the picture at the house, but no one knew. No one knew but me and my sister and her. No one knew. We lived in silence because we had such a big family. And my mom would tell the tell us, if you tell my family what's happening here, you'll never see me again. If you tell your dad what's happening here, you'll never see me again. So So we lived in silence for how long? For, like, three to four years.
Michael Vance: So there's physical abuse going on, and then she said if you tell anybody If you tell ever see anybody? You'll No. If you tell anybody, like, what's happening in the house,
Daniela Satt: you won't see me again. Like, she was threatening us that if we say if we tell our family or my dad or anyone what's happening in this house, we won't see her again. I'll kill myself if I'm being very explicit.
Michael Vance: Yeah. That helps me. That helps me get a Yeah. A picture. Yeah. So And you're
Daniela Satt: I remember, like, trying to stand up for myself and my sister and be like, you're drinking again. We're having a good life. Please stop. But it was it would lead to abuse. It would lead to physical abuse. Every time I would try to stand up for myself or her,
Michael Vance: there was punishment. And you're 13 or 14 years old at this time? 14, 15,
Daniela Satt: 16.
Michael Vance: You had a taste of stability. Mhmm. And so now that's why you're standing up for yourself because, hey, we let's Yeah. I I don't wanna lose this. Yeah. And it's creating conflict within home. So you had a taste of it. Yeah. I know where this is going. And I don't like where it goes. And you're trying to fight for some stability Yep. And it's creating conflict. So I I got a mental picture now. Yeah. And plus, you're a teenager now. You're not you're not a little kid, so you're you're trying aware. You're more aware. Okay.
Daniela Satt: So things are hard at home, yet no one knows. For, like, three to four years, no one knows what's going on in the house. Just me and my sister, my mom. We had a maid at that time. She knew. And she would protect us, and she would help us. Dona Norma. Norma. That's her name. But then eventually, she left because things were rough. Oh. So she couldn't stand anymore, so she left. So at that time, we're living in Mexico. Me and my sis are traveling to Bolivia to see my dad every six months, and we couldn't share much with him. But he would see my behaviors. He would see how I was losing weight. He would see that I was, like, paranoid about going back to Mexico when I would go visit my dad to Bolivia. So I know he was witnessing, but whenever he would try to talk about it, I would shut him down immediately because I'm like, if my dad knows, then he will make me stay, then I won't see my mom again. So I had to put put a wall to so many people and so many questions into the reality of the life that I was living just so I can be with mom. Okay.
Michael Vance: Alright.
Michael Vance: So, practically, how don't lose your train of thought. Mhmm. But, practically Mhmm.
Michael Vance: People that are in authority Mhmm. Teachers Mhmm. Pastors Mhmm. Sunday school teachers Mhmm. Whatever.
Michael Vance: When they have a Daniella at 15 years old and they notice there's something off and they're trying to have a conversation,
Michael Vance: We're busy. Like, we're we're busy. I got seven kids, and I'm busy. Yeah. I'm busy. But how do we
Michael Vance: how do I carry a net around in my pocket and and and and scoop up that kid that's drowning? Well, I think When your dad when your your dad knows something's off, but you're not telling him how what's the mechanism to
Daniela Satt: take those to to help Someone that like 15 year old Daniella. So
Michael Vance: because I feel like I don't feel like that. This is the reality. There's a lot of kids walking around. So many. Trauma, man. So many. And they're protecting, and they're they're they know how to say things that get you off their back. What's the next question that you're supposed to say? What are we supposed to do, Daniella? Like, what are we supposed to do? Truly,
Daniela Satt: I've been I've been doing student ministry for years. I've been very involved with student ministry at my church. What would your dad
Michael Vance: what should your dad had said? Like, looking back, what would he could he have said or asked you
Daniela Satt: that would have pulled those walls down? Nothing. Oh my so Nothing. I was loyal to my mom till the day she died. Loyal. When I tell you loyal, I was loyal to that woman till the day she passed. Loyal. No matter what anyone anyone my dad, we had my dad had some beautiful life in Bolivia, beautiful wife, a son because my dad got remarried and had a little brother, beautiful life. Going to Bolivia was beautiful. Yeah. I didn't wanna be there. I wanted to be with mom. So he offered everything. He had the world for me, and he's such a loving dad. He's so fun. He we would we would have a good life in Bolivia with him. I would have, but I didn't want that. I wanted my mom. Because in my heart, I thought that if I love her and I protect her and I an endure everything, she's gonna love me eventually. Your sister's over here agreeing with everything you say. Well, because you love She's agreeing with little girl loves mom. Does he only love you want? I have friends that they have amazing moms. And, man, how like, it's just so beautiful. You know? Like, they to me, that means the world, and it's something I'd never had. So it's like, I want my mom. And I'm not gonna lie till this day. I want my mom. I want her. I miss her. I need her. I don't think I'll ever not need her. But I've learned to be strong in the Lord and allow him to carry me through. But that doesn't take away the fact that I love her, and I want her, and I need her. You know? So tissues next to your chair if you need them. Thank you. So I think as a little girl, you just want mom. You just want mom, and nothing can can tell you otherwise. You can't offer me the world as a 15 year old or mom's love. I'll choose mom forever. Forever.
Michael Vance: K.
Daniela Satt: Forever.
Michael Vance: Alright. Because there's
Michael Vance: So there's nothing you could have asked me. People on my radar Yeah. That I feel like something's off. Yeah. And I was hoping you give me the the magic potion to break that down, and you're not giving it to me. Okay. So I guess Something did come to mind. I will say, though, the word of God says,
Daniela Satt: when Jesus called, I think it was Peter and Andrew, He calls them as they're fishing. And p and Jesus tells them to, come follow me for you will be fisher of man. So one of our callings in life is to be fisher of man. So it's also come being fisher of man comes with prayer and discernment. K. So it's also a matter of, like, you can't save everyone, but the Lord assigns you to people. You have an assignment. So bring it before the Lord in prayer and saying, father, there's people hurting out there. Point them. Point them. Point me to them. K. I think that it's something that we can't do on our own knowledge or strength. I think it's a matter of, like, Holy Spirit, show me who's hurting and give me the way of reaching that person because I think that the Holy Spirit knows everyone. He knows what's the best way to reach that one lost one. He knows how. We think that just by saying, hey. Let's go to coffee. What if coffee is a trigger? And you think you're doing good. So I think it's like realizing that even to reach the lost, we need the the the what is we need to partner with the Holy Spirit. We need to partner with his wisdom. We need to partner with his knowledge. We need to partner with his direction. That's the answer. Thank you. So I think that's the best way. That helps me. Yeah. I I think I told you this.
Michael Vance: For, like, the past sixteen, seventeen months, I've been acutely aware that there are no coincidences Yeah. With people that come into my life. Yeah. I I mean, I felt connection with you. That's why you're sitting here. Like, I just have an overwhelming sense that there are no coincidences with Nothing. People that Nah. Their gears hit you. Yeah. And there's been some people in my life that just feel like there's something off. Mhmm. And I feel a sense of, like, responsibility. Mm-mm. But they're not saying it, but I can feel it. Mhmm. So I'm gonna take your advice what you just said and just remain under and and be prayerful. So Prayer. Good. Thank you. Is the water. That's something, like, real practical as you're telling your story. Yeah. If I think of these things in real time, I'm just gonna ask you because you lived it. Yeah. I feel like there could be potentially a Danielle in my circle right now.
Daniela Satt: But if there's a Danielle in your in your circle and you're seeing things, pray, but also be bold to move forward. Because I do believe there was a lot of people in my circle that didn't do anything. That witnessed things, knew things were fishy, knew things were not
Michael Vance: normal, yet they didn't do anything. I wanna kick the door down in your house and just scoop your your sister up. Yeah. That's like, when you're talking Yeah. Like, where's that guy that just says, hey. Yeah. We're out of here. Let's go. Okay. That's just the the person in me, like, the protector provider. Like, where's that person at? Got
Daniela Satt: it. But also helping a 15 year old Daniella doesn't look like we think it should look like. You know, in your eyes, it may look like I'm a transform their whole life. But in my eyes, having people sent by the Lord look like having a best friend where her mom would literally take me to places, take me to her house. We would have sleepovers. So it looked different than what you think it will look like. Understood. So I had people in my life that I know got sent to walk with me in that journey, but not in a play not in a way where, hey, Daniella. You're going through this. Let me heal you right now. No. It looked different. It looked like sleepovers, like I said. For me to witness what a healthy family dynamic would be when I'm sleeping on my friend's house, things like that,
Michael Vance: or the break of being somewhere else. You need to slowly be shown what normal looks like. Yeah. Remember I told you I go to that foster home? Yeah. Like, 15 kids there? Yeah.
Michael Vance: I asked, you know, just making kinda playing plus playing with these kids and making conversations. They how long you've been here? So they all been here in different for different timelines. Three years, four years, six months. They know virtually every one of them. I I can picture this one kid in my head right now. He's like, I've been here for three years, but my mom's gonna be getting me soon.
Daniela Satt: Yeah.
Michael Vance: Talk to another kid. I've been here for such and such my time, but my my dad's, you know, getting the house ready. He's gonna come get me soon. Yeah. So what you what you talked about, that connection to a The longing. A mom or a dad, it's a real thing even though it may not be true. Maybe mom is coming soon. Yeah. But if she hasn't come in the last three years Yeah. You know, I mean, I don't wanna take a kid's hope away, but there is that thing that as you're describing.
Daniela Satt: Yeah. So It because you were one with your mom at one point. Yeah. There was an umbilical cord that was connecting you. You came out of her. Yeah. There's obviously, like, an attachment to that. Mhmm. And I I've never studied that with anatomy and physiology, but I'm sure there is. But just like you in the foster home, I had the privilege of serving in a youth jail here in Fort Myers, and it's a jail for 12 to 20 year old kids, girls specifically. And every time I would talk to them, a lot of them are there because of mistakes they made because of what they witnessed at home. But many of them, just like the kids you're talking about, were hopeful. Mom is gonna come to visit. So we would go and serve at the jail on days, like, around Thanksgiving, and we would throw a party for them. And that's when family is supposed to come visit them, but family wouldn't show up. Mom wouldn't show up. But they had this longing of, like, oh, it's family day. Mom is gonna come, but mom didn't show up. So, yes, I do see your point. I witnessed it in a different setting that it was also heartbreaking. That's why we were there. We were able to, like, love them in that in that setting.
Michael Vance: I'm a let you get back to your story. But That's good. Yeah. I'll let you get back to your story, but life is simpler when, you keep your circle small.
Daniela Satt: You think?
Michael Vance: Yeah. This is for me. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It gets simpler when you keep your circle small. Like, I have I'm responsible on my wife Yeah. My children. Like Oh. Keep it small. When you open up your circle, more people need you, it gets more complicated. And I feel like God is opening up my circle. Good.
Daniela Satt: But I mean, we can see the example of the life of Jesus. He had 12 disciples, yet three of them were the ones that experienced the most impactful or intimate moments with him, and that was Peter, John, and James. They witnessed things that the other disciples didn't. So he had a greater audience. He had the other the other nine, eight, but the three were the closest ones. So that can be your wife, your children. But the Lord is calling us, I mean, with who to whoever he's calling you to, but he can expand your territory. The book of Isaiah talks about expanding our territory. And I think a part of that is what we're doing here. Oh, yeah. So I'm just trying to, like Obey.
Michael Vance: Figure it out. Yeah. Because I like I like knowing that the people in this room are the ones who are responsible and be blinded to everybody else. It's just easier for me. That's Yeah. My mechanism. Like, you have a coping mechanism. Like, my mechanism is these are my people,
Daniela Satt: but God's doing something different than me. He's Yeah. Anyway, so that's just a little side note. So this is this is helpful for me as I'm just Yeah. But something that came to mind is, like, are you responsible, or the Lord through you is the one that is responsible? Because Keith on his own strength can only do so much.
Michael Vance: So it's the spirit through you. So you haven't met my wife yet? No. I love you. But that's what what she would say. Like, Keith, you can't save the world. That's God's job. Not your job. And that's like, okay. Like, I'm a let you keep going. I'm Yeah. I'm when I see a need, I just wanna jump in and handle it. Well, you have a servant heart. I just wanna handle it. And there's so many needs,
Daniela Satt: where there's only one me. So you just you answered the question for me what God's working through me personally. I think it's a matter of, like, praying for discernment to know what your sphere of influence is. We all have a sphere of influence, Whether it's technology, whether it's social media, whether it's health, whether it's ministry, whether it's the loss, whether it's a jail, whether it's a prison, you we all have a sphere of influence. The word says that the Lord has put a calling in us. You know, the word says in Hebrews two 12, get rid of every sin that so easily entangles. That way you can run the race that the Lord Jesus has set before you. So we all have a race to run. But the race that you're running, it may not be the same one as I'm running. So it's it's a matter of knowing you, what is your race, what is your calling, which is your sphere of ministry, who are the people that you're called to target. So when when when you select that, when you know that, when you're aware of that, then you're, like, more narrow focus. Okay. This is the impact that I'm doing. I wanna save everyone, yet these are the ones. I have a special anointing for this specific group of people. And then partner up with other people like you. Yeah. And then you partner with people. We are the body of Christ. That's it. He is the head. We are the body. The body needs to work with the body. Mhmm. The head leg cannot work without the hand. That's good. So we are the body. So we get to do our own part alone, but yet we can do a lot more together. Yeah. That's why the enemy loves division. That way that's why the enemy loves having people out out of church because there's unity in the church. We are the body. God's full manifestation dwelled in Christ, and we get to experience that as the body. I can only do so much on my own. But when I'm with the body, that's the fullness of Christ. So let's go back to my story. Well, you it started with
Michael Vance: I asked you, what could your dad have said to get you Nothing. And did nothing. That's what it started with. And, it transitioned to something else that that helped me. Mhmm. So thank you for taking that little rabbit trail.
Daniela Satt: Anytime. Let's go back to childhood. We're living at home. We're in silence. We can't say anything. Dad is trying to get us to move with him to Bolivia.
Michael Vance: Even staying with your dad for six months, he couldn't break down the walls? You said you stayed with him for six months at a time? We would go we would see him every six months. I thought you you okay. You would see him every six months. For how long? Like, a month. So even after a month, he couldn't break down the walls? No. Because I wasn't fully present. Got it. I was, like, thinking of how when am I going back home to see my mom? Is my mom alive? How much is my mom drinking? Who's taking care of her? And then as a dad, you're poor dad. Here you got your daughter, and she can't even be fully she can't even be fully engaged with me because she's protecting her mom like, you're poor dad. Yeah. Poor dad. Yeah. I know.
Daniela Satt: He's such a good man. So where are we? We are at home, and my sister and I are navigating life. Things are really, really rough. And a lot of alcohol, a lot of drugs. There's a lot of drugs. There's weird people coming in and out in and out.
Michael Vance: When you say weird people are addicts?
Daniela Satt: Yeah. Whoever I don't know who they were. Drug dealers. Yeah. By the grace of God, Niki and I were never touched because there was people around. And no we never got touched. We never no one messed with us. I believe the Lord has had us very protected. Yeah. Mom was not okay. Like, one morning, Nikki and I woke up, and mom was in her room. And we went downstairs. Mom wasn't downstairs either, and Nikki opened the front door, and she was laying outside. So that means that when she came the night before, she was so intoxicated, she couldn't open the door. So you guys were home all night by yourself? Oh, yeah. Yeah. She didn't sleep the night, and, also, there were times that she wouldn't come home for days, or she would lay in her bed for another three days. And we lived life like that for a long time, so we became my mom's mom. And my family started noticing, but there was a lot of manipulation from my mom's side. I gotta have you pause real quick. Okay.
Michael Vance: Last week, I interviewed my pastor. Mhmm. We talked about spiritual warfare. Oh, yeah. I didn't understand that, though. We talked about spiritual warfare and particularly towards dads. Okay? So when a dad
Daniela Satt: I hope the mic can hear my belly.
Michael Vance: Well Can it? Well, we don't edit. So, hey, the whole world just heard it. Yeah. Girl is hungry. It's all the heavy lifting. When a dad is passive in his responsibilities Yeah. Those responsibilities just don't go out to oblivion. Somebody else has to shoulder that weight. So if a dad isn't being who he's supposed to be, the mom will carry the burden and or the children. Yeah. So and it just it just goes back to what you're talking about now. Your mom's not being a mom. She's not being who she's supposed to be, and you just said we became the mom. Oh, yeah. So those Absolutely. Those responsibilities that we aren't meant to carry Yeah. They go somewhere else. So not only are you not being able to be a child Yeah. You have the responsibility that your mom is supposed to have that you're carrying. So it's like a double whammy on that on on those. When things are in line with the way that God designed it That's how it looks. Beautiful. Yeah. When it's not, it's chaotic. And then you have people shouldering weight that they're not meant to to carry a child. Two girls are supposed to be girls. They're supposed to be mentored. They're supposed to taken care of. They're supposed to be loved. Nurtured. Not happening. Nope. So Yeah. So I'll make it short.
Daniela Satt: Things are rough. I'm 17 now, And Nikki and I played soccer, and things were rough. Like, things were rough, rough out of her senses most all of the time. So Nikki and I come from soccer practice. And as we come home from soccer practice, my mom's packing. And she's packing her bags, and she tells me and my sister, I'm leaving. I'm leaving. You guys betrayed me. I'm leaving. I don't love you. I'm leaving. And I remember just trying to get in the way of her packing, like, mommy, no. Like, don't leave. Like, I love you. I'll do anything for you to stay. Like, please don't leave. Physical abuse, get out of the way, punches here and there, finish packing, grab her stuff, and left. And at that time, me and my sister are like, wait. She just left. Of course, we're crying. Of course, we're broken. Of course, we're hurting. And we wait a day for my dad to come back for my mom to come back, but we kinda knew she wasn't, so we called my dad. And then we finally shared with him everything we had been hiding for so long. And we call my dad. He comes to pick us up the day after. Like, he flies from Bolivia to Mexico the day after. And he comes, picks us up. We have a goodbye party with my family, my mom's side of the family, who also, like it was really hard for them to get involved. You know? It was really hard for them to get involved to deal with my mom. She was, like, manipulating, lying. Like, it was it was a really, really hard situation, so I don't think there's win win. Like, it was a really hard situation to deal with. So there's grace for everyone because we're all living that situation for the first time. We don't know how to deal with it. We don't know how to how to move things, how to act. So my dad comes to Mexico and picks us up and moves us to Bolivia. So I moved to Bolivia to start my fresh my last year of high school, my senior year of high school. So what felt like a new beginning what could have been a new beginning didn't feel like one because I brought with me all the trauma, all the burdens, all the pain, all the hopelessness, all the hurt. So we are back in Bolivia starting a new life, and it was good. Like, my family's side, my dad's side of the stable is beautiful. I had a young little brother. My stepmom was amazing. Like, beautiful. We had a beautiful life. Yet I was Dad came to got you. Yeah. And we moved and then we went back. Like, came, picked us up. Let's go back to Bolivia. Where's your mom at? She's gone. She left us. So she doesn't She disappeared. She doesn't even know you're out of house. Didn't even abandoned us. She literally packed and left. She didn't even know you're in another country. She didn't even know my dad took us. She lost us. K. That's important. She lost us. So that for people who understand, like, the spiritual realm and soul wounds and hurt, that opened a huge door to abandonment and rejection. So you go through trauma. And when you go through trauma, the spirit of fear, the spirit of abandonment, and the spirit spirit of rejection, like, entangle itself in my soul. So I started living life from that fear of abandonment, fear of rejection, fear of people leaving me. So I carry that all the way to my twenties when I met Christ because I was living life through that. I was a people pleaser. Because if I if I don't please you, you're gonna leave me, and I feared abandonment. So I carry that lens of fear of abandonment to friendships, relationships, family, anything. Anything could walk anyone could walk all over me because I feared you will leave. So I'll do anything for you not to leave. What's funny is I understand what you're saying Yeah. And how you're coping with that. Yeah. But you have a dad that just flew over there and freaking picked you up and said, let's roll. But that doesn't take away the trauma. I understand.
Michael Vance: But you had your dad you had your dad that seemed to be stable and was wanting was wanting to intervene first. So there was that presence there. You were almost, like, actively rejecting it for your mom's love. Yeah. Your mom abandoned you instead of being instead of, like, your brain flipping being, well, at least I have my dad and finding your finding your security and love and everything that that my mom left, but my dad still loves me. My dad's always been pursuing me. Your mind goes the other way. Yeah. We can't choose we can't choose We can choose how our brain reacts. Choose our reactions. Just I'm just as I'm digesting this, I'm saying, I wish your brain would've went the other way. I wish, but there there was a filter. I know. Was seeing life through the filter of pain Got it. Abandonment,
Daniela Satt: abuse, hopelessness. So when you see life through that lens, when there's so much unhealed things in your heart, it's really hard to enjoy. It's really hard to see the good. And that's the other thing I wanna
Michael Vance: make sure we understand. You don't understand how someone is processing the life around them. Mm-mm. And you could say, well, they should've they should've did it this way. Mm-mm. Their dad, they should've. Mm-mm. But you're there's stuff at play that you don't understand. Yeah. And and you said it earlier, and I've been saying it often.
Daniela Satt: You can't go wrong by giving somebody some grace. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Grace. I mean, that's why we're saved. We're saved because of grace. We are all living for the first time, and we all have our own things to carry, to heal through so we can be mad at people. Grace. And you're carrying weight that is
Michael Vance: obscuring your reality that is blurry. Yeah. And, again, it's only God's grace that can Yeah. That can clean that up. Yeah. So Yeah. Absolutely. So, yeah, we're in Bolivia trying to do life again.
Daniela Satt: I graduate high school, and then college tries to come around. I'm broken. I'm lost. I have no vision. I have no purpose. No vision. No purpose. I'm drinking. I'm partying. I'm in the wrong relationships. And then my dad gets me to go to college. And at that time, I'm like, I want nothing. You know, when you're, like you're depressed, but you don't know that you're depressed. And I I get accepted to study here in The US living in Bolivia, and I get a soccer scholarship. I don't wanna take it. I don't want anything. So he puts me in a school in Bolivia, and he's like, well, if you're not going to study up in The US, you gotta go to college here. He puts me in college. I have no desire to study. As I said, I'm broken. And everyone who is hurt manifests differently, and then my dad get has enough of it. My dad's very strict. He's amazing. He's loving, but he's very strict. So he's like, if you're not gonna do something with your life, you're moving to The US, and you're gonna live with your aunt, and you're gonna figure out life there. And I'm like, no. Well, guess what happened? Made me pack my stuff, and he moved me to The US. And he knew I feel like for him was such a heartbreaking decision to make, but he knew that if he had kept me in Bolivia, I would have gone downhill. So he he I believe the Lord worked through him, and he had the beautiful idea to make me move to The US. I moved to The US. I I live with my aunt. My aunt had a best friend who owned a cleaning company. I'm 18, 19 years old. I'm lost. I have no vision. Guess what? My dad gave me, like, $500 to live. I was living with my aunt. $500. He goes back to Bolivia, and I'm here in The US. What the heck I'm a do for my life? What the heck am I gonna do with my life? So what did I do?
Michael Vance: I start working. So that's good. Yeah. Listen. This is good because Yeah. You're you're in a place in Bolivia where
Daniela Satt: I had everything.
Michael Vance: There's almost a cycle, like, I have no direction. Like, there's this this spiral. Yeah. But your dad, by moving you with $500, say, hey. Yep. Now it activated your brain. Okay. I gotta figure this out. So I I see that now. Oh, yeah. And at that time, I was screaming at him, I hate you. Oh my gosh.
Daniela Satt: I hate him. I'd be like, I hate you. But it's the biggest blessing. It's it I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for that move. That's a big transition. His heart. You know, it broke his heart, yet he knew and he had faith in me that I was gonna Figure it out. Come the other way. If he wouldn't have done that for my life, I really don't know where I would be. So I moved to The US. I'm living with my aunt. I'm cleaning homes. I come from having mates and living, like, a super cute life to having to to cleaning homes, and I'm humbled. I learned the value of money. I learned the value of life. I started learning things that I didn't learn for so long because I was surviving. Wow. So I started living, and I started making mistakes. I started making money. I started being joyful. I started doing things for Daniella. I start figuring out Daniella. Still broken, but I start figuring out Daniella and but still partying. And then I start working at a place called Cavo. So I outgrown cleaning, so I started working at Cavo. What's Cavo? Cavo is like a place in Mercado next to Blue Martini. So it's a club. K. So I'm I'm going the wrong the wrong way. This is in Naples? Yeah. This is in Naples. And I'm not going to college. I'm just trying to figure out life. I'm not trying to figure I'm trying to figure out life. And then I get into the Cheesecake Factory. And like I said, I will lie to my family telling I'm going to school, but I wasn't. So I started working. I started finding myself, but I still didn't wanna study. I didn't know what I wanted in life, but I was working. So I will lie that I would go to college. Yeah, dad. I'm in school. And he's like, oh, how's school going? Great. I was in school. So they they remember that I I would lie. I would lie to my family. I was lost. I had no purpose. And Hey. Listen. A lot of people go through this. I had no purpose. Hey. Listen. When I was, like, in kindergarten for lie. When I was, like, in kindergarten
Michael Vance: oh, man. When you when you told your family you're in school, but you weren't going That was you in kindergarten? Listen. When I was in kindergarten, I thought it was I thought it was, like, playtime. Like, I'm out of the house. Like No. All these people. Like, I didn't know for for some reason, I didn't know, like, the teachers talked to my parents. Yeah. So I remember, like, after six weeks, you have these report cards or something like that. And they tell your parents everything. Everything. I thought I was on vacation for six weeks. They tell my parents everything. I brought the and back then, they used to, like, pin it to your shirt. Yeah. Oh, once I get home, oh, what's this? They open it up. Keith, you like to distract other people. You don't keep your eyes on your own work. Like, all this stuff Yeah. All this at kindergarten, all this stuff. I was like, oh my goodness. So when you talk about Oh my gosh. I thought I was on vacation this whole this first six weeks in kindergarten. I came home and my goodness. I was so mad at my teachers. My dad whooped me so bad, like, for this is a character flaw in you, son. So, yeah, I
Daniela Satt: I was lost. And I think that you don't you can't choose how trauma affects you. So the way trauma wounded me, I was I had no vision, no purpose. I grew up hearing that I'm a bastard, so why am I worthy of doing things? I was rejected by the person I wanted the most, so you do life through that lens. You know? And I started looking for love in the wrong places. I started looking for highs, so I started making money. I started going to parties and clubs and meeting people, and I'm going the wrong direction. My dad's like, are you in school? I'm like, yeah. School is great. Yeah. I'm not until until my sister was in college. She was the good one. She went to college, and I was lying that I was going to college. And I was blessed to, be gifted a car with rules of never driving to Miami because I didn't know how to drive to Miami. So one year, it's my sister's spring break, so I'm on spring break. So, my sister comes to Naples, and she was studying in Illinois at the time. And we go to Miami. How old were you? She's 18. I'm, like, 21. We go to Miami in the car that was gifted to me by my family, obviously. And we have a great time in Miami. We get tattoos done, and we're driving back to Naples. She's driving. I can't drive because I had a lot to drink the night before. I have my legs on the dashboard. Nikki was driving Alligator Alley, the back road. She loses the control of the car. Our car overflipped into a water canal. Our car overflipped into Alligator Alley. So all I remember is, like, we are drowning. The water is coming up. They call alligator alley for a reason. Yep. Water is coming up. We don't know how to get out of the car. We're, like, trying to get out of car. The window's not rolling down. Like, water is up. We're, like, surviving. We're fighting for our lives. And we managed to get out a man. There's a truck behind us. A man gets in the water and gets us out of the car. But as he's taking me out of the car, I had asthma, and I have an asthma attack. I'm out. I pass out. I don't know what happened. I lost consciousness. So I lost consciousness. Nikki tells me that they had me laying on the grass, like, by alligator like, on the grass by the by the road. I don't remember anything. I wake up in a helicopter. I was being airlifted to a trauma hospital. And like I told you in our call, when I wake up in that helicopter, I felt glory. Like, I felt glory. I felt glory. Like, I felt light. I felt, like, glory. There were two firemen staring at me like, are you alive kinda thing? And I felt glory. I felt life. It was so supernatural to explain. At that time, I didn't know that was probably the Lord or a second opportunity or I don't know. I still don't know what happened in that helicopter, but it was a wake up call. It was a wake up call. And after that, I did take life a little more serious. I got enrolled in nursing school because I had such an amazing treatment at the hospital that I'm like, I just wanna be a nurse. Wow. So I got into nursing school because of that. But it's still I'm still not healed. I'm still looking for the love for love in the wrong places, and I meet someone who introduces me to Adderall. And I'm probably 22. And this person introduces me to Adderall, and I try it. And, oh lord Jesus, if I knew it was gonna take me to an addiction of seven years, I wouldn't have done it. But I did it, and I became addicted to Adderall. And then I was partying on Adderall. So I was living that life still broken, still he still, like, hurt, still, like, looking for love in the wrong places. Adderall made me feel strong. Adderall made me feel adequate. So I was masking my pain with Adderall. My day to day pain, I was, like, numbing it with Adderall because it made me functional. I wasn't functional. You're a nurse. Mhmm.
Michael Vance: Adderall. I've I've heard this I've heard this word Adderall, like, in close proximity to my circle. Okay. I think Adderall is for, like, ADD or ADHD. For yeah. ADHD.
Daniela Satt: It's a prescribed medication for people who are unable to focus, and they're, like, scattered, but it helps you focus. And you said it's addictive? It's amphetamine. It's amphetamine. Amphetamine. It's like a form it's it feels like Coke. K. It's heavy. It's heavy. People party with it. It gives you focus. So I'm addicted to that, partying, looking for love in the wrong places. And then I'm in nursing school. Right? And then I have a friend who invites me to grow, the church I go to. And this is to at the end of 2020, she invites me to grow. And I go in there, and I told you it's my first time I grow, and they're playing waymaker. I felt a rushing wind. Like, I felt, like, the holy presence of the Lord. And I felt the same way I felt in that helicopter, and I felt the Lord. And I was I didn't even know it was the Lord at the time. But I walk into the sanctuary. I'm listening to Waymaker. Never listened to Waymaker before. I'm weeping in worship. Weeping. I'm like, what is going on? But it's it was a weeping that brought comfort. And I'm like, what is this? And I left, but I couldn't stop thinking of that day. So time goes by. I'm still addicted to Adderall. I'm partying. I'm in nursing school. I'm living life the best way according to the world. And I gotta ask you about this Adderall thing. Was that normal in your like, was everybody doing It was it was a secret, so I don't know how normal that is. It is a prescription. A lot of people that are in college or a lot of people who suffer from attention deficit are prescribed, and some people actually need it. It's a medical diagnosis. But there's also a big number of population that will use it for your own benefit. It also curves your appetite. So some people use it just for the diet effect of it.
Michael Vance: This isn't your story, but I just had to ask because I just had my cousin on this podcast, he was addicted to, painkillers Mhmm. Like, thirty years. And, like, his thing is, you know, they know your addict. Why do they make these things are so addictive? So he's like, he had his own he had his own take on that. Yeah. But is there a reason? It's
Daniela Satt: a controlled substance.
Michael Vance: Okay. But you're a nurse. So so why is there is there is there a way to make these medications that aren't addictive?
Daniela Satt: There are medications that are addictive, and there's medications that are not as addictive. I think that I mean, you come to Naples Longevity Clinic because we will do a whole body approach. We're gonna look at the root cause. We're gonna help you get better with different ways rather than just medication. Unfortunately, big pharma, big tech, big foods will push medication. Why? Because insurance makes money. Pharmacies make money. So we look at the health. Like, this can be a complete different episode because I've studied this so much, but pharmacies and insurance wants to sell you medication. You know? So because it's profitable for them. So there's the regulations are there, yet they they push for medication. They push for pharmaceuticals. So it is normalized, unfortunately. Yeah. And doctors do prescribe it with the with the right intent, but maybe some doctors prescribe it just to prescribe it. Should there be better screening for it? Should it be more managed? Yeah. But it's such a big country. How are they gonna do that? You know? So it's
Michael Vance: I didn't mean to get off on this. No. I mean just curious because you said Adderall. Yeah. And I just thought Adderall was like a mainstream thing for ADHD. I didn't know you could abuse it. Oh my gosh. I didn't know you could abuse this. I don't I don't know this world. So when you said Adderall magically.
Daniela Satt: Okay. I mean, you become addicted because it works magically. It makes you focus. You are on top of your tasks.
Michael Vance: K.
Daniela Satt: And as it's amphetamine as well, so it it can make you a little bit more joyful, more focused, adrenaline. The body likes that. The flesh likes that. So I go to go church in 2020 at the end of 2020, but I'm still I would go to church. I start going to church, and then I go get drunk at brunch. And then I would go to worship nights, and then I would go get drunk again. And as I'm trying to follow God, I'm holding so tight on all those things that temporarily satisfy me. And I hold so tight on these highs because I'm afraid that if I leave everything behind, God wouldn't meet me there. I was so used to God letting me down. Why why I was so used to people letting me down. Why would God be different? Yet I knew God was calling me to leave my life behind, yet I I was holding onto what I could control. Because I was afraid that if I will leave my wounds open, I would struggle and it would hurt. And I remember 2021, I'm like, I really wanna follow Jesus. Why am I holding so tight on to all of this? And I remember asking God, like, I really wanna follow Jesus. I really wanna trust you with my life, Lord, but I I keep running back to what's familiar. And I felt the Lord saying to me and showing me, and at this time, I didn't understand how God spoke to me. I didn't understand anything. But I felt the Lord saying to me, you see me through the lens you see your mom. So I realized that I I that that little Daniella the little Daniella brought all her trauma, all her wounds into her relationship with her heavenly father. So all those wounds were stopping me from seeing God for who he is, for the good father that he is, for the good shepherd that he is, for the compassionate that that he is, that he never leaves me. He never forsakes me. I couldn't see that because I had so much unforgiveness.
Michael Vance: Not only could you not see it, but you weren't believing it. No. I had so much unforgiveness,
Daniela Satt: so much resentment. So I felt at that time, the Lord, like, try like, led me to leading led me to joining a group called Freedom. So I joined a group called Freedom, and in this group, you learn about forgiveness. And I felt that I was carrying so much unforgiveness towards my mom. And I said yes to the Lord, and he held my hand, and he took me through this forgiveness journey. He took me through this healing journey one layer at a time. One layer at a time. Peeling the onion one layer at a time. One trauma at a time. One word of abuse at a time. Physical abuse at a time. He was leading you through it. Oh, well, the thing is people think that when you come to the Lord, you are the one that has to work for the heal healing. He is the healer. Yeah. He he is the redeemer. He is the one that restores. He's patient. So all you have to do is draw near to him. James four eight says, draw near to God, and God will draw near to you the second you go to him. Lord, I present this pain to you. I present my life to you. I really wanna heal. He draw nears to you, and he he is the one that heals you. He is the one that does it, and he does it in so many different ways. It can be instant. It can be a process. It can be through deliverance. It can be through the word. He he can heal in so many different ways. Every walk looks different. Every every healing journey looks different. My healing journey had a lot to do with I I I joined church. I became a member of Grow Church. I did that freedom group. I started forgiving my mom. Community. Community changed my life because I was so lost, and I was so broken. I didn't know what was inside of me. So I was surrounded with people who loved the Lord that were calling out the good in me. I was so used to people calling out the bad in me, but my friends started calling out the good in me, seeing passion in me, speaking life over me. My community started speaking love over me. God handpicked people in my life that walk with me. I also was submitted to amazing pastors. You have to be submitted to a house of God fearing pastors. My pastors are God fearing people who preach the word, and they lead by example. You think that discipleship is one zero one? My pastors disciple me from stage through their teachings, through the way they live life, through the way they connect one to one. So just being submitted to such a good house helped me so much. It was a big part. The Lord handpicked that house for for for me to start my journey there. Good. Yeah. So I got into healing. So, yeah, I I I started going to church. And I I will say this, me healing, me walk starting to walk in freedom, me learning who I was in the Lord didn't change my mom or her addiction. Let me ask you a question. Yes. You're talking about community. Yeah.
Michael Vance: You're talking about your pastors Yeah. Discipling you from the Stage. From the stage. Was there any times that you can remember that you're coming to to church and it was almost like God is using someone to speak directly for you Absolutely. It's amazing. Forever. It's amazing, isn't it? Still happens. Yeah. It's amazing. Right? Still
Daniela Satt: happens. God has used so many people to speak to me, speak life. Who I am in his eyes saved me from things. I've received warnings from the Lord. Hey. Don't don't don't don't don't entertain this. Out of nowhere, one lady was like, the Lord is saying no. Do not entertain that. She saved me. The Lord speaks through people who are yielded to him. Yeah. Just like the enemy can speak through people, though. So we have to always discern. Always test the spirit that's speaking to you. But, yes, the Lord has used so many people. That's the power of community. Yeah. We're childrens. We're sisters and brothers in Christ. You know? So
Michael Vance: And that goes back to what we talked about in the beginning about taste and see. That the Lord is good. You know, taste and see because there's there's this whole community. There's this whole thing just waiting for you.
Daniela Satt: He he is a good father. But I was saying, I wanted to emphasize that me walking and healing, me getting my life back, me getting to know Jesus, me healing did not change my mom of or her addiction. Some people think that, oh, I'll forgive her, and she she will change. No. In fact, she kept getting worse and worse. So after my mom left us, she reappeared a little after.
Michael Vance: Let's you get a flight. What time do you gotta take off? What time do you have to leave here? Do we have enough time?
Daniela Satt: Like, thirty, forty minutes more? We got another we we have to leave here in about forty minutes. Be at the airport at 03:00. 03:30.
Michael Vance: Okay. My
Daniela Satt: flight leaves around 06:30. So I have to be at the airport at 03:30 ish. So I would have to leave here one of those. I would have to leave here at one. So
Michael Vance: I just wanna be cognitive with your time. I don't wanna have to leave around one. I don't wanna rush you. The lanes. Now it's it's twelve, so we got, like, an hour. Yeah. Okay. Are we doing good? I don't wanna we doing good on time for you? Okay. We paused? No. We're rolling. We don't pause. Do we need to take a little break? Do you hours and thirty eight minutes. I just wanna stretch my legs really quick. Wait. There you go. You're good. Man, I never had somebody do that before. Thought you won't start jumping up and down in Jesus right there. Are we rolling? Yeah. We're still rolling. Oh. Do we need to take a break? Gotta go back. Do you gotta go to bathroom or anything? No. I'm okay. We're good. Are you good? Thank you. Alright.
Daniela Satt: Alright. Can I just know this next transition about your mom? Yeah. Was it a little bit? So Yeah. So me forgiving her, me pursuing healing didn't change her or her addiction. In fact, she kept getting worse. She was in and out of rehab. So we were my family, we were able to get her to rehab, and she was in and out of rehab, but she would manage to escape rehab. This woman She's laughing. Because she would escape every rehab. Every single rehab she went. She escaped every rehab. She was so smart. So she was in rehab. And in that time, throughout my twenties, after she left, when I was already living in The States, already in nursing school, I would try to go and visit her to Mexico, and I did. I kept fighting for her. I kept giving her chances. I kept even as a Christian, I kept seeing her. And
Daniela Satt: nothing it would I mean, I kept visiting her, but she was still the same. She was still in bondage. She was still trapped. She was still lost, in and out of rehab. You never just went like that with your mom? Never till the end. Never. Never. No matter what, I would answer her calls. They were painful. Because sometimes she's asking me for money, sometimes she's cursing me out, or sometimes she wants to hear about me. Wow. So even in her addiction, like but I was already walking with Christ. So that's the beauty of it, though. God turns everything for good because she would call me, and she would be like, I need money. If you don't give me money, I'll do this. I'll do that. And I remember telling her, mommy, mommy, like, Jesus loves you. Mommy, like, there's a better life for you. Yeah. She would hang up. She'd mad at you. Text me. La la la. I would send her verses. She would call me again. Mommy, God. God is your answer. So as I was walking with the Lord, as I was growing in the Lord, as I was experiencing the father's love, I started to love her from that love. And that was her last years, you know, of her being an addict, being in in rehab, out of rehab, lost lost in drugs, every drug you could potentially imagine. She was on it. Really? Oh, yeah. Bad.
Michael Vance: And How how old was she? Probably fifties
Daniela Satt: 55, 54. Very young. Yeah. Very young. Wow. And beautiful. Beautiful woman. Beautiful body. Beautiful face. So charismatic. So beautiful. So, yeah, I would just preach to her. And on April 19 this is always hard to share.
Daniela Satt: On 04/19/2024, we got a call. We didn't get a call. My dad gets a call. And I live with my sister, and my dad comes over. And it was a Sunday night. And he comes over, and I'm like we were at the beach earlier that day with my dad, and he'd he's like, I'll come over. And I'm like, why is he coming over? But I was like, I didn't think of it. So he comes over,
Daniela Satt: and I'm home with my sister. And they call they walk in, him and my stepmom, and they brings bring us in into my sister's room. So my sister is sitting in her bed. I'm I'm standing there. My stepmom is against a wall, and my dad is there. And my stepmom looks at me, and she says, I'm really sorry. And and, I'm like, what happened? And my dad's like, your mom passed. And I just remember walking out of the room, and I was screaming. I was screaming. I was on the floor hitting everything, and my dad was trying to hold me as I was on the floor. But at the same time, I knew it. I knew it the week before I spoke with my sister. And I told my sister Nikki, something's about to happen. And she's like, what? And I'm like, I think my mom's gonna die soon. And my sister's like, what are you talking about? And I'm like, I think my mom's gonna die soon. So a week after, my dad comes over, and that's what happens. And I remember screaming at the Lord, and I was like, you told me. I was like, I knew it. I knew it, God. You warned me. You warned me, and I didn't do anything. So I was just I was carrying so much guilt. And I remember my dad trying to hold me, And I'm like, god warned me, and I didn't do anything. So I was, it was hard. It was hard because I felt like he told me yet there was not much I could do. So I remember just
Michael Vance: There's tissues next to you if you need them. I remember asking,
Daniela Satt: what happened? What happened? And they're just you know, the silence speaks for itself. It was really hard because two weeks before that or three weeks before that, she was torturing me through text. It was a lot. I couldn't handle it anymore, so I had to block her. Oh. I had to block her from calls. I had to block her from messages. I had to block her from everything because it was it was hard. I couldn't tolerate it anymore because she was attacking me every day. So it was hard. It was a hard a hard pill to swallow because I carried guilt. I was like, if I wouldn't have blocked her, she would have reached out to me, and she wouldn't have taken her life.
Michael Vance: Plus your whole life, she's been saying, if you tell anybody we're wrong, just like, your whole life, you've been hearing this, and now she find, like It's like she prophesied it, though. Prophesied. Yeah. She'd been telling you this her whole life. So she prophesied it. And
Daniela Satt: at that time, I remember trying to go to sleep. I couldn't sleep for days until we went to her funeral to Mexico, and I was struggling.
Michael Vance: I was struggling. And I remember Was there a side of you that you thought what you had a taste of your mom was gonna have get a taste of?
Daniela Satt: I thought she was gonna come back eventually. I think I had experienced the Lord in such a powerful way that even, like, when the Lord healed me from Adderall, he delivered me from Adderall. I saw his manifested power through my life, how, boom, he cut the chain, it lifted. So
Michael Vance: And if he can do that for me, he can do that for my body. Experienced
Daniela Satt: his healing power in 2023. So I was like, I know my god. I know what my god can do. So when I would pray for my mom I pray for my mom's deliverance. I claim my mom's soul. I declare that my mom is alert and sober minded. She's healed. Like, I would pray with such faith for her, such faith for her that I think when she passed, it was more grieving the idea of the faith of the desire to have a mom rather than her as a person. Understood. And I remember after she died, before we went to her funeral, I was struggling. I'm like, Lord, I've experienced your goodness. Like, I know that you're good. Why?
Michael Vance: Why do you allow this to happen? Because this doesn't feel good. Yeah. If you are good and this doesn't feel good Yeah. You're trying to reconcile those two It's hard. So I remember
Daniela Satt: I remember at that time, I had a choice to make. I felt the Lord was calling me to make a choice, but I also was doubting the Lord. I was fifty fifty. I was already strong walking in the Lord. But it was like I either choose to walk away or I choose to trust him. So I I'm like, I don't know if I wanna do life with you anymore. I really don't. I remember telling him, I don't know if I wanna do life with you anymore. And he I don't I don't wanna talk to you. I felt like he wanted to talk to me. I'm like, I don't wanna talk to you. I was angry at God for a few days. Thank God it only lasted a few days. But I remember, like, I don't wanna talk to you. And I was a prayer. Like, I would be in prayer, and the word were like, my relationship with the Lord is so beautiful, but I was like, I don't wanna talk to you. I don't wanna talk to you. So we will go to my mom's funeral, and I remembered, Lord, if you're good, show me that you're good. If you want me to come back. Like, if you want me to I was, like, giving him, like, an ultimatum, which is horrible to do. You know? But I was so hurt.
Michael Vance: I'm like You learned that from your mom because your mom gave you ultimatum. Yeah. Yeah. I got I got some sassiness from her,
Daniela Satt: a little sassiness from her. But, no, I was angry at the Lord, and it lasted a few days. But I'm just playing hard to get with him. And I'm on my mom's funeral. I'm on my mom's funeral, and a lady comes to me. Young lady, probably my age, curly hair. And she comes up to me, she says, are you Daniella, the pastor? And I look at her, and I'm like, who are you? You know, I was like, I've never seen this woman before. Who is this? I was like, I'm Daniella, but I'm not a pastor. I said, why? And she looks at me, and she says to me, can I touch you? And I'm like, mom just died. You know? Like, why who are you? And she's like, can I touch you? And I'm like she's like, I was in rehab with your mom. And she was my age, and she was like, I was in rehab with your mom, and your mom would always tell me that I would remind her of you. This girl had muscles, and I have muscles. And she started touching my arm. She was like, your mom would always touch my arm to think of you because she said that your arm had muscles. My hands sweat twenty four seven. So not twenty four seven, but most of the time. So my hands sweat. So this girl's hands would sweat. So she was like, your mom would touch my hands because they sweat, and they would remind my hands of you. And then she said, your mom said you are a pastor. She said that you always led her to Christ. That she she said that you always, talk to her about God. She said that her daughter, Daniella, was a pastor preaching the good news, going on mission trips. So when forgiving her didn't make sense, when loving her didn't make sense, God's love through her touched her. If I wouldn't have forgiven her, she wouldn't have heard the message of Jesus when she was in chains. If I wouldn't have forgiven her, if I would have given up on her, she wouldn't have heard Jesus loves you over and over. God loves you over and over. So she heard the message of Jesus when she was in chains. That's why forgiveness is so powerful. It's not for you all the time. You know? It's what you can do through it. So at that time, when I heard that, it lifted. Like, the all all bitter emotion towards the Lord, all angriiness lifted. I'm like, my God is good. My God is good. And the scripture that came to me and helped me through that season was for I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you, not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. I held onto it. I'm like, if your word says that you're good, I'm a believe that you're good no matter what the circumstance looks like. People think that following God means your circumstance will be powerful. No. He is a prince of peace. It's a peace that surpasses all understanding. It's a peace that surpasses the circumstance. It's a peace that surpasses the situation. I got to feel his peace, his joy, his love in the midst of the grieving season, in the midst of the chaos, in the midst of missing my mom.
Michael Vance: Can I make two comments? Make two comments. He didn't have to do that for you. No. His word is enough. Yeah. If he says it, it's good enough. Yeah. He didn't have to do that for you, but that just tells you he loves you. Oh, yeah. And he gave you that experience. Yeah. That's one thought I had. Mhmm. Job never found out. Job never found out. Yeah.
Daniela Satt: And then the other thing is, how good did it feel when you're that woman was telling you what your mom was saying about you? How good did that feel? Oh my gosh. It didn't make sense, but at the same time, it was so beautiful. And I remember, like, when she started talking to me, I grabbed onto her. I'm like, can we go talk?
Michael Vance: So here's the other thing. As a dad,
Michael Vance: my kids need to hear stuff from me directly. Yeah. Like, you never got to hear from your mom directly. Yeah. You heard it indirectly, and that was a gift to you. Yeah. Yeah. But it's it's good for I'm glad you got to hear that your mom Loved me. Loved you. And was proud of me. But how much better is it here if you're a first person? Yeah.
Daniela Satt: Yeah. And this is I've been listening to this song that if you have a chance, take it. Call your grandma. Call your mom. Call your dad. Just do it. Invest time in the people you love. Yeah. Never know.
Michael Vance: And that's the season of life that I'm in right now. Yeah. Like, I used to have these thoughts. Oh, I need to do that. And then the next moment of life would take over and I forget. But right now when I have that thought, I just grab my phone, shoot a text, make a phone call, like, in the moment. Like, that's season of life and end because it is important, and you don't know that that you don't know what's on the other side of that equation. You don't know, wow. Wow. I needed that. You don't know. You don't know what people are going through either. Right.
Daniela Satt: So That's why, like, we are called, the word says, we're called to make an like, make of everything an opportunity to do good. That's Paul to Timothy writing to him. He says, make make the best out of every opportunity.
Michael Vance: Yeah. And the opportunities aren't necessarily these big grandiose things. They're just a little mundane moments where someone you're thinking about somebody Yeah. Call that. You should have text so that they know I'm thinking about you because you don't know what they or what they're going through. Why do we not do that? That's a good question. Why do we not do that? It's important. Why do we not normalize loving people? I like being I like getting texts and, hey, dad. I love you. Yeah. I like that. Yeah. That makes me And you're a man. Makes me feel like, you know what? I wanna You're a man. I'm gonna be harder. I'm gonna be stronger. Gonna keep going. We all need that. We all need it. God is love.
Daniela Satt: God is love. Let's normalize loving people. Let's normalize being loved. That's good. It's a gift. It's the gift of God for all of us. That's good. You know? And I do wanna encourage people to normalize loving, normalize reaching out, get out of brightness, self preservation. Allow yourself to feel. Allow yourself to love. Allow yourself to live through Christ. Grieving was not easy. I remember, like, grieving was not easy. No one teaches you how to grieve. No one teaches a 29 year old girl how to grieve. Only God can. But I will tell you this. In my grieving journey, I will come to the Lord, and he carried me through. Matthew five says, those who mourn will experience comfort. One of the beatitudes. There you go. So when you mourn,
Michael Vance: then there's comfort. You will be comforted.
Daniela Satt: He heals the brokenhearted. So every day, I remember after she passed, I would go to work. I had a special grace for work. I would because you grieve, someone dies. You go you go back to work. I'm an independent woman. Like, I pay for all my bills. So I had to go back to work. So I would go to work. My heart was hardened the whole time I was at work. I don't know how. I was able to make it through the through the day, like, working on NLC. Like, I managed the practice, so I run everything. So I I had to be strong. But the second I would walk into my car, I would start weeping. So it feels like as if the Lord gave me a grace and a strength to do things. But then when it was time to grieve or when it was time to feel, I would allow myself to feel. But I wouldn't feel to a place that would take me to defeat. I I felt, and it was a place that took me to comfort. So I would get home from work, and I would go into my prayer closet, and I would just be on my knees crying. But I was crying to the Lord. I wasn't crying to hopelessness. I think there's a difference when you're grieving. Mhmm. There's a difference when you're mourning. There's a difference when you're going through a trial. Are you doing it onto the Lord for him to carry it and carry you through, or you're doing it onto self pittiness? You know? So there's a difference. Some people think that they have to grieve forever and be bound to grieve and miserable. No. When we're weak, he makes us strong. He heals the brokenhearted. He binds up their wounds. So if you're grieving and allowing yourself to feel because Jesus wept, we read Lazarus, the death of Lazarus. It says Jesus wept. Jesus felt emotions. We're allowed to feel emotions, but the our emotions don't dictate our life. Our Lord savior does. His comfort does. His strength does. So when you're grieving, if anyone's grieving, allow yourself to feel, but feel with the Lord. Give it to him. Call on his name, and he will sustain you. Don't don't grieve to a place of defeat. Does it make sense? It does.
Michael Vance: It does. And, again, this is providential, because what you're talking about is a recurrent theme for some of that love that I know. This is and I have to tell you off camera, but that was Yeah. Grieve to the Lord. Grieve with him. To the Lord. You're allowed to have your feelings. You are. Jesus was. But then he says, daughter Give them to me. Get up. Then he says, get up. Arise, my daughter. Get up. Elijah, when Yep. He had just called down fire to those prophets of Baal. 100 and them was Jezebel say, I'm gonna come kill you. And then he was he ran. He was in a self he was he was depressed. And and He was hiding in a cave. He was hiding and God sent an angel to minister to him. He gave him some food. He let him out of his feelings and he said, okay. Alright. Get up. So we don't stay we don't perpetually stay there, but we're allowed to be there, go through that process. But then he's he always says, get up. And I like what you said. He binds or he heals. There's He heals Through grief, there's a process of a healing, and there's process of restoration,
Daniela Satt: and you don't have to stay there. It goes back to the scripture I read at the beginning. Our sufferings are used to purify us, to bring us closer to him. Our sufferings are not to separate us from God. Our sufferings are meant to bring us to him. His yoke is easy. His burden is light. That's good. So our sufferings can bring us to him, fortify us in him Yeah. And heal us. People think, oh, I'm suffering. No. No. No. Like, you're suffering. Glorify in the suffering. Rejoice in the suffering because it's bringing you closer to God. You know, gold is purified with fire. We're purified through fire seasons. And I Isaiah 43 says, when you walk through fire, you will not burn. That fire is not gonna burn us. The situation is not gonna burn us. It's gonna purify us. It's gonna bring us closer to the Lord. It's gonna make us even better than before. I've learned that I said this at the beginning, like, the crushing the crushing of my life, the suffering, the pain is reproducing oil. The suffering is for others as well. That oil is for others. My pain is to help others. The suffering that the Lord heal is for others to help others, to encourage others, to testify others, to to bring glory to Jesus, but all for his kingdom, for his children. The word says that God wants all his children to be saved, all his children to be saved, All his children to be saved. Even the ones that are in prison, even the ones that have murdered, have raped, he wants all his children to be saved. So our suffering can help those. The oil that comes from the crushing is for those.
Michael Vance: That's a work that only God can do our lives. Those things that were meant for our destruction, for our pain, for our Turns everything for good. Is actually the thing that I like you said, is thing that crushed me, that was supposed to break me Yeah. Is actually an oil of it's a balming oil to heal. Yeah. And that's something that God can do. Yeah. There's a verse that talks about in Revelation 12.
Daniela Satt: We overcome evil like the blood of the lamb and the word of their testimony. Our a a testimony only comes through a trial. True. So it is expected that there will be trials, but we overcome evil to the testimony. The testimony is to testify to others about the goodness of Christ.
Michael Vance: You get a flight to catch. I do. We're winding this thing down. Is there any closing thoughts or any questions I haven't asked you I need to? Or
Daniela Satt: I would just say, like, if there's any person who's not walking with the Lord or they're searching for highs, they have trauma, they have endured abuse abuse, trauma, words of death. That's not your identity. K. That is not who you are. K. Your identity is in Christ. But in order to learn your identity, you have to give God a chance. So I feel there's people here that haven't given God a chance. That's good. You've tried everything else. Why not? You've tried everything else. Why not? And you're still finding yourself in that miserable place. That's good. Give God a chance. He is the healer. He's the restorer. He's the savior of our souls. He never leaves us. He never forsakes us. He is the way, the truth, and the life, the only source that truly satisfies.
Michael Vance: Let's quit it there. It's perfect. I appreciate you. I'm glad that our paths crossed. I'm looking forward to building a friendship with you and even your sister sitting over here Mhmm. Drinking her drinking her Red Bull. Celsius. Celsius. Celsius. My goodness. Those things are not good for you. I've
Daniela Satt: not delivered from that yet.