Still Strong #20 Pastor David Gold

Intro voiceover: [0:02] I learned the hard way. Nothing's overnight. Some days you lose, some days you survive. Still Strong, even moving slow. Every step counts more than you know. Found gold in the everyday. Showing up and staying brave

Michael Vance: [0:26] still David Gold, welcome to the podcast. Thank you. It's to good be here. Yes, sir. I'm looking forward to it. David, the theme of the conversation is going to be spiritual warfare. What is it? What does it look like? And specifically to leaders, fathers, husbands, grandfathers, what does that look like? Before we talk it up about that business, we need to get down the business. So first thing we do is these are Still Strong. Richardson one twelve has. My kids tell me they're the best. This one is a a new logo, a new design. Thank you. I wanna give that to you. Absolutely. David, the this platform is a new platform. And I think because I my fitness is important to me, and I put stuff on social media to drive things towards the podcast, people have a maybe misconception of Still Strong. Still, the word still to me has two meanings. Still is a continuation of links in a chain remaining. Still also is absent of movement. Bible says, be still and know that I'm God. Says be still and see the salvation of the Lord. So there's these times we're meant to be still, And then there's times that we're called to action, we're called to be strong. Be strong and courageous for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. Caleb, the first go around, there's two good spies and 10 bad spies. He didn't get to take his his he didn't didn't didn't get to take his hill the first go round. Forty years go by. He's a much older man. And in his old age, he takes that, not in his own strength, but in God's strength. So at 50, at 61, we're commanded to be still in those times. Be still and see the salvation of the Lord, but also even at 50 and 61, when God calls us to a task, he will equip us and strengthen us to accomplish that task. Right? So that's what I want everybody to what Still Strong means to me. There's many layers to it, not just physical strength, but everything that goes with what it means to be a provider, protector, a a man of God. So that's what that means to me. So when you wear that hat to me, hey, was Still Strong mean? Right. Tell him. Tell him. Alright, brother. You were born in Charleston, South Carolina. Yes. I love South Carolina. We lived there five years in Greenville. Beautiful.

David Gold: [3:10] Absolutely. I'm gonna retire. That's where I wanna retire is in Greenville. Are you? No. No. But Greenville's beautiful. I always told my wife, if we retire, that's where I wanna retire. We we go up from time to time. We were just there for Christmas.

Michael Vance: [3:25] And, like, Downtown Greenville's really come along. It's it's beautiful. Like, Michael was there with us. You know, it's it's good. You've been married to Julie for thirty seven years. Yes.

David Gold: [3:35] Been together for forty. Nice. Dated three years in college and married thirty seven.

Michael Vance: [3:42] You have four children, four adult children? Mhmm. What are their names? What do they do? Riley is my oldest.

David Gold: [3:49] He's very entrepreneurial. He owns three companies there in South Carolina, lives in the Lexington area. Super faithful, leads worship for Mhmm. His, his church, leads his family well. And then Joe is my second son. He lives in Aynor, South Carolina, getting ready to move to Freakway, Arena, North Carolina. He works for Hills Machinery, sells large equipment. Great sales guys. Just loves loves people, serves people, loves Jesus, leads his family well, faithful to the church. And then my daughter, Malia, just had another grandbaby, number six, third grandson. And so she lives in Lake City. She's married to Austin, who's a worship student pastor, at Orchard Church in Lake City, and that just super super excited. She's a stay at home mom, works hard, loving her babies, and, she has two children now. Good. And then Joshua is our youngest, son. He is a marine. He married Hannah, a young girl out out of our church here at Crossroads, and he's still a marine. He's in his second tour and stationed in Beaufort, South Carolina. And they are, again, just faithfully attend church, faithfully love the Lord, pursue Jesus. So it's a as a as a dad, right, as as as mom and dad, it's super encouraging to see your kids love Jesus. And again, that story story is not final yet. I've I've learned that you don't know if your kids are actually gonna follow Jesus and really follow him for the rest of life until they hit about 30. Really? 30 is kinda that it's gonna be either a part of their life or it's not gonna be a part of their life. And so we've got a couple of them that are there already, so we're confident. We just gotta wait for the rest of them to see see where they land. And, hopefully, you know, prayerfully, they'll always be pursuing the Lord.

Michael Vance: [5:51] More or less, how long has it been since your kids have been out of your home? Your kids are a little older, more or less.

David Gold: [5:58] My daughter's been married is it five years now? I'm probably getting another all wrong. My wife That's alright. If my wife hears this, she's gonna get you wrong. And so, yeah, she was the last one out. Josh Josh left. She was getting ready to be married. So Josh left for the Marine Corps, right after he graduated k. High school. And so a few months later, my daughter was being married. So it's been five five years. The reason why I ask is because I have seven kids.

Michael Vance: [6:27] My wife had five, and there's a five year gap. Mhmm. We got two little ones. I call them little. They'll always be little in my mind, but Emma's 17. L is 15. And, and a few year time flies. In a few years, they're gonna be gone. Mhmm. And I was just curious.

Michael Vance: [6:49] My my kids have been, like, my reason for existence. Mhmm. My wife and I. So

David Gold: [6:57] what's it what was it like this last five years with them gone? How did that? We actually threw a party. We celebrated. Come on now. We did. We were super excited. Not because we were just excited that our kids left. But, I mean, Raleigh's 36. I think Josh, our youngest, is 24. So they've been around for a long time. Got it. And so it was it was just refreshing that it was just us again. We and when again, when we got married, we were thinking, you know, we weren't very smart. We just felt like, well, it takes everybody a couple of years to have kids, and it took us six months. Yeah. Same. So six months into our marriage, you know, we're my wife's pregnant. And, you know, not long after that, we're we're having a baby, you know, nine months later. And so they've just been with us. We never had that experience where it was just just us for several years, which I think serves wisdom in that. And so that's kinda what we've been doing is just enjoying each other. Good. We love hanging out with each other. Good. Don't don't like not to be together. Good. I love my kids, but I love my wife. And I'm just, like, anticipating

Michael Vance: [8:08] it just being us here pretty soon. Yeah. I'm just wondering if there was any pitfalls or just, like, what what were your feelings when, you know, just the two of you. Yeah. I mean, are kids bored? Were you bored? Were you, hey, babe. Not bored. No. It's one it's one of those things that I think it's on the front end, right, understanding that

David Gold: [8:26] one day, you're raising kids to launch them That's it. Into the world to be on mission. And your kids are only gonna be with you for a certain number of years. Your wife is going to be with you for the rest of your life. K. That's your major investment, like, relationship with your wife. Got it. And so that's that's if that sets your foundation, then when your kids leave, it's not like, oh, the reason that we're together, the reason that we've like, is is gone. No. Like, it's still my wife. It's still our relationship,

Michael Vance: [8:57] which is super important. I'm like I said, I'm I love my kids. They're all close by. But I'm looking forward to spending time with my wife because just listening to you talk, I was thinking about this last night. There's never really been a time where we're just us. Yeah. It's it's always been us and bunch of little bunch of little snot nose kids following us around is so I'm thinking it's gonna be nice. Yeah. We literally we celebrated. We had a party. So Well, in a few years, when we have ours gone, they will you can show me how to party. Absolutely. We can party together.

David Gold: [9:31] You have six grandkids, which you just said one brand new one. Mhmm. Yeah. Yeah. We just got back in town yesterday from hanging out with them and helping around the house and enjoying the grandbabies. How do you like being a grandpa? Are you grandpa? What's your name? Are you papa? What are I'm pops. Pops. Alright. Pops and Grammy. And so it is my kids ask me, like, what's the difference? Well, some of it's like seeing it's like looking at your kids through a different lens. Like, it's like, man, that's reminds me of you. So it's like you're getting to hold your children all over again because they look so much like them. They have some of their characteristics and personalities. But I would say this, and it's one of those things I wish I could have understood as a parent. It is a it's a really free love. Yes. So it's really different Yes. From parenting love. Not it's not that it's it's any deeper or any richer. It's just freer. I And think that's some of that's responsibility. Right? Because when you carry the weight of Yes. I'm responsible for for this little person who's who's my child, it's a little bit different. But, man, it would be I I often thought, like, would it be different? How differently would I parent if it had that kind of free love?

Michael Vance: [10:51] My, son, Thomas, we were in Tennessee for Christmas. We our whole family goes because when life slows down for us, we were in a cabin. We go somewhere, hang out. My firstborn grandbaby my firstborn grandbaby came early in Tennessee, I think, like, two days before we're supposed to head back to Florida. Born in Dollywood. Little Thomas Lee, you know him. Mhmm. But I went I opened up the hospital door to go visit for the first time, and my son my son Yeah. Was holding his son like this. And I know what that feeling looks like. I know what that feeling feels like. And having those emotions that he's having from a different vantage point, it just hit me in a different way. So when you talked about being a grandfather and, like, that role, like, I know what that boy's feeling, and it that emotion hit me in a different way. Like, my boy's loving his boy, I love both of them. It was just Mhmm. It was a different feeling for me. It just never forget that one. It's good. Yeah. I love being a grandpa. Yeah. For sure. I love being a grandpa. You enjoy fishing?

David Gold: [12:11] Yes. I'm not gonna do it much, but I enjoy fishing and hunting. I haven't hunted a lot since we moved here to Florida, obviously, for reasons. Enjoy fishing. Used to fish a lot when Josh was here because he's pretty incredible fisherman. Excuse me. And and so, and he was my kinda Friday fishing buddy. And so we would go fishing all the time, and I picked up golf a couple years ago just trying to stay busy. But, yeah, I like the outdoors. I like the challenge. You what do you like fishing? Do you like bass fishing, off shore fishing? I mean, I I prefer, like, freshwater bass fishing. That's what I love to do. Yeah. And so my favorite saltwater fishing is red because they're very similar Okay. In how you go after them. Yeah. I like bass fishing as well. Yeah. To me, so our freshwater

Michael Vance: [13:01] fishing is easier because you don't have to chase the tides and all that. You know what I mean? You just find a little pocket or somewhere and up up on the Yeah. Find some up on the edge. It's just to me, it's easier. Right.

David Gold: [13:12] Then I heard you're a pretty good golfer even though you won't be there for a few years. That that's a lie. Whoever told you that is is is not telling the truth. It is probably one of the most frustrating sports I've ever played. So played box for ten years as a young man. Played football from the time I was seven all the way through college. So athletic, you know, God, get give me some of those graces, and golfing is a lot harder than I realized. I was like, god, who can go hit a little ball? No big deal. And it's there's a lot whole lot more involved than you realize. So

Michael Vance: [13:49] My brother and my dad took up golf a while ago, and I bought some clubs just to hang out with them. And I gave it up as quick as I had started because everything in life, if you if you that's worked for me. If you just try harder, you can get it. But the harder I tried to hit that ball Yeah. It doesn't work. It don't work. It works in reverse. You gotta, like, somewhere. And, like, when I wouldn't try to go, it'd go perfect. I'm like, how do I can can I do that? So I try hard to do that, and I would just I was like, you know what? Here here you guys can have my clubs. Yeah. Every every sport I ever played was kill it. Like, kill it. Destroy it. Yes. And that's not golf.

David Gold: [14:27] Yeah. So it's hard hard to get out of that system.

Michael Vance: [14:31] The reason why, again, why you're sitting in this chair is because your craft, your trade, you're a pastor. You've been studying that that word of God. The word of God, if you wanna call it professionally, as your trade for thirty seven years. That's why I got you here to talk about the subject that we're gonna talk about. I had a friend of mine, Dave Foraker, on the podcast several weeks ago. He's a police officer. That's what he does. He, works in the special victims unit. And I had in my life, I had someone that had hurt one of my children, and, Dave intervened for me. If it wasn't for him, I'd be in prison the day when I found out who touched my kid. Yeah. So we I said, Dave, I don't want this to happen to anybody else. If you can take some of those cases where kids were hurt and work backwards, what would you tell parents, grandparents, like, hey, if you don't wanna go down this road, here's the things you need be looking for. And I kinda wanna take that same approach with you when it comes to spiritual warfare, the things behind the scene. I wanna break it down, make sure we take our time and get it done. Last question for you before we get into it. You're 61 years old. What's that feel like?

David Gold: [15:53] It's not as bad as I thought it was gonna be. I've I've learned that older is only twenty years older than wherever I'm at. Yeah. It's true. Right? Yeah. So it doesn't it doesn't feel as old. And so sometimes I look at other people who are 61. I'm like, I don't I don't think I act like that. I don't think I look like that. And my wife makes me look a whole lot younger. So Yeah.

Michael Vance: [16:12] I like what you said. That's that's true. Because 30 used to be old. Yeah. And then 50 was old, and I'm 50. And I don't It just keeps it just keeps moving. Just keeps creeping up. Yep. So good.

Michael Vance: [16:27] Yeah. So

Michael Vance: [16:31] most men, I think, understand what it is to physically protect their loved ones. Right? Mhmm. I think that's in us. We're we're God built us bigger, stronger. You know, the wife is the weaker vessel. We have these children. They're dependent on us. Like, I think that's naturally in us to be the provider, caretaker. You know, my when my kids were little, you know, they call mommy when they got a skinned knee or something. They call me when there's a monster in the bed. You know what mean? They call me when they're dead. There's something scary going on. Come get me. Like, that's our that's our role. In regard to I believe that there is an unseen realm. I believe there's an unseen realm. I believe that there's forces that are against me as the leader of my home. Can we just start there? Mhmm. Who are the players in the unseen realm? Is is is is the unseen realm a real thing? Mhmm. Who are the players, and what's what's the strategy? What's what what's going on? Let's just start broad Sure. And then we'll get her get her dialed in. Is it a real thing? Well, yeah. I mean, yes. It's it's real. And

David Gold: [17:50] but I I think it's it's more real in the mundane moments of life than probably most men realize. And so I I think that's where a lot of the battles taking place is in the everyday Monday moments is where the enemy is at work. And we we can even say biblically, where God gives us a glimpse into spiritual warfare. When he gives us a glimpse into what's happening around us. And he did that with Elisha in in second Kings where they wake up. They've been fleeing for their lives, him and his servant. And they wake up, and the servant wakes up, and they're surrounded by an army. And they're like, oh my gosh. Like, wake up, Elijah. We're we're in trouble. Like, look at this army that's encamped around us. And then Elijah just starts praying. Lord, open his eyes, like, that he might see what's really going on, that he might see the spiritual realm. And God in his grace and mercies opens up the servant's eyes, and he sees a great multitude of chariots and horses and angels of fire all around them. And Elisha looks in and says, hey. There's a lot of those guys, but we there's more of us than there are of them. And, like, not don't be fearful. Like, just the grace of God, one for us in his word to show us that there is this spiritual realm. There is a spiritual warfare that is happening all around us. Whether we see it or not, it's real. So, yes, spiritual warfare is a is a real thing.

David Gold: [19:39] And so for some of us, right, I think it's one of those things, god, like, give me eyes to see. Like, help me to understand what's real, what's not real. Help me to see what the battle is. Help me to see your greatness in the midst of that, your power in the midst of that. Yes. We have an enemy, but he's defeated.

Background: [20:02] The the warfare. Mhmm.

Michael Vance: [20:19] What's it about? What's the game plan? Yeah.

David Gold: [20:23] What is it? Well, I mean, first Peter tells us that, Satan is our enemy. He's like a roaring lion seeking to devour. Like, he wants and he comes, right, to kill, steal, and destroy. That's John 10. John ten ten. Right? We we understand that god clearly tells us in the world that this is this is his plan. It's to destroy. It's to defeat. I think at the heart of it, is is worship. Like, what are you gonna give yourself to? That's what Satan has wanted from the beginning, his worship. And so when we look at Job like, the story of Job at the very beginning, we understand that Job was a man who loved the Lord, who was blessed by God, with the with the family, with a great home, with a great, name, reputation, honor. He had possessions like he was like that biblical model of he here's what a successful man looks like. This is what a blessed man looks like Right. In that Old Testament perspective. And then the enemy who has access to God, Satan goes to him and and says, hey. I've I've I've gone all over the earth, and I can't find anyone who, like, worships you that loves you. And and then God's like, hey. Have you have you looked at my man Job? And then the enemy is like, uh-huh. Yeah. But he he loves you because you've set this hedge of protection around him. Like, you've been you've that's why he loves you because you've given him so many good things. And he's like, oh, you go testing. And then he gets he gets parameters. Satan's only allowed to do what God allows him to do. Like, he sovereignly reigns and rules over everything that's his power compared to the enemy's power. Right? He sovereignly reigns and rules over everything. And so in that that one day when he comes to to test Job, he's like, man, you take away these things from him. You take away his kids. You take away his family. You take away his possessions. Like, he'll curse you. It's the enemy. And he's like god's like, no. My job will love me. And so in a day, he loses everything. Loses all of his kids. One one like, one of them had a bad day. Like, one servant comes in. Man, you've lost all your camels. You've lost all your servants. They're all gone. Next one, hey, but you've lost all your cattle. You've lost, like, everything. You've they've been taken. And then four four men came in and just bad news after bad news after bad news. And at the end, like the last one, hey, all of your children were together. And it was a great win, and they all died. All of his children. And so that's a bad day. That's that's spiritual attack of an enemy going, I'm I wanna see who you're gonna worship. And Job, right, falls on his knees, rinse his clothes, and then just worships. Like, that's his response to losing everything, to losing what was most precious to him, his children, was worship. And that's what the enemy is after. And he says, the Lord gives, and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord. But my heart chooses to say, even when it's hard, even when it doesn't make sense, blessed be the name of the Lord, he worshiped. And so there there is literally a a war going on

Michael Vance: [24:14] for our worship. And it's about worship, you said. Absolutely. Okay.

David Gold: [24:18] So I think that's the that's some of the battleground, right, is that's what the enemy's after.

Michael Vance: [24:24] You're right. Because he rose up with pride in his heart because he saw God was getting worshiped, and he wanted that worship. Mhmm. Okay. Yeah. So when you were just now talking about Job Mhmm. You said that God's the one who brought Job's name, and Satan said, well, I can't get to him because you put a hedge of protection about him. Is that a real thing? What is that? What's what's a hedge of protection? What is that?

David Gold: [24:54] Well, I I think Satan was saying that to to God. Like, well, this is this is why he loves you is because you've done this. Like, you've you've provided all this for him. Like, he has everything he needs in life. Okay. So it wasn't like a like a force field where the devil's trying to get in and he can't. It was just you've you've given this man everything he wants. Is that is that the way you're in Yeah. Okay. Got it. That's what that's basically what the enemy is saying. Like, the reason that that he loves you. Right? The reason is fucked because you've given him everything. Like, he's there's nothing that he lacks. Understood. He has everything. He has honor. He has a great family. He has all these possessions, all this wealth. He has a life of ease and comfort. Like, that's that's why you've been so good to him. That's why he worships you. And if you take all that away, he'll curse you. And the enemy again misses it. It's Job loved God.

Background: [25:49] Yeah. We can't end that story there.

Michael Vance: [25:54] We can't end that story there with Job, because through a series of events, you know, he gets boils.

David Gold: [26:01] Oh, yeah. He's he's beware. I mean, there's there's more to come. He's been Like, yeah, if you if you'll attack his flesh, then he's he's gonna curse you, and he doesn't. He doesn't. And then at the end,

Michael Vance: [26:12] God brings it full circle and restores. Right? Yes. He restores back everything. Yeah. God was faithful to him. Absolutely. God was faithful to him. And, again, I think that's why a lot of people go to the book of Job because Job was in the dark this whole time. He didn't he wasn't he wasn't in on the conversation between God and and the evil one. And he wasn't giving any answers. He wasn't giving any answers. Even at the end, was never given an answer of why. And I think that's hard for men because we wanna know why. Mhmm. I'll do I'll go through this fire, but I need to know why. Yeah. I need to know how long I gotta go through it. But when there's no end in sight and there's no why, that'll break somebody down. Yep.

Background: [26:54] That'll break somebody down, and then then you start, okay.

Michael Vance: [27:00] What are the things in my life that are worth clinging to? And, I think Job Job got there. Towards the end, he got there. He faltered a little bit, but he got there. Yeah. I'm glad that's

David Gold: [27:12] that, story's in the book of the Bible. Amen. It's an encouragement. Yeah. Right. And and just know, like, there there is a battle going on for your soul. Like men, like, there is a battle for your soul, for your worship, and that's what the enemy is after. Like, what are you gonna give yourself to? What are you what is what are ultimately are you living for? Man, is it is it worth your life? Is it worth everything? Because, I mean, there's only one who's worthy, right, of our lives. There's only one who's worthy of worship, and we get that mixed up sometimes. And so one of the things I I, like, I asked myself, right, and encouraged even our our congregation, like, man, like, do do the homework of your life. Right? Look at where you are. What are you doing with your time? Like, man, we're like we're like we're we're like finding treasures. We're like running after treasure. Like like, I wanna discover something. I wanna get after it. Yeah. X marks the spot. Right? That's where the treasure is. And so whatever you're doing with your time, like, helps you understand what the x mark is in your life. Like, whatever you're giving most of your time to, whatever whatever you're giving most of your talking to,

David Gold: [28:33] whatever you're giving most of your treasure to, I look at your bank account. It'll tell you where your heart is. It'll tell you what you're really running after. What are you giving most of your thinking to? Your energy, your passion, all those things help us see, like, really, what is it that we treasure in our lives? What really are we worshiping in our lives?

Michael Vance: [29:02] So it's all about worship. At the end of the day, it's all about worship. Mhmm. I'm just gonna follow these men. Yep. Identity of a spiritual soldier. When you think of a spiritual soldier, what kind of man are we talking about? What's the difference between a man who believes in God? Because the it says the demons believe in God and tremble. Right? The difference between the the difference between the man who says he believes in God and a man who is actually engaged in spiritual battle. Yeah. Why do some men stay passive here? Yeah. Okay. Let's hit Yeah. I would say this, like,

David Gold: [29:40] like a a dinghy of a spiritual soldier. Right? I would I would say this, that he's not perfect. Alright? That's good. We're not. He's not perfect. That's good. But he is prepared. That's good. Let's hit it. And he's engaged. Let's hit it. And he's equipped. That's that's what a spiritual soldier, part of the army of God, man of God is. It's not perfect, but he is prepared. He is engaged, and he isn't equipped for battle. So let's

Michael Vance: [30:16] let's hit each one of those things you're talking about. The reason why it's important to say he's not perfect is because there's an accuser. You talk about the unseen one, the the the the evil one, the one that we can't see. He's an accuser. What thoughts are my thoughts? What thoughts are God thoughts? And what thoughts are a demonic influence? If there's an accusing thought in my head, it could potentially be from the evil one. Mhmm. He's an accuser. Not perfect. When you say not perfect, there's been times in my life, pastor Gold, that I felt like I couldn't lead Mhmm. Because I wasn't where I'm supposed to be. Mhmm. And it took away my ability to lead, to be where I'm supposed to be. You follow me? So I'm glad you said not perfect. Yeah. That's important because I've lost my ability to be a soldier because of thoughts that I had that I'm not you're not good enough. You're not you're not no. You're gonna tell your kids that meanwhile you're doing this? Yeah.

David Gold: [31:27] Can you speak to that a little bit? Well, yeah. I I think the reality, right, is, like, that's part of the enemy's game, part of the enemy's strategy, right, is to discourage, to deceive, to distort the word, to distort what God's word says about us. Like, if we're in Jesus, we're in him. Right? He he's my identity. I'm I'm dead to sin. I'm I'm dead to the power of sin, and I'm I'm dead to the the enemy. Like, I've I've died with Christ on the cross. It's no longer I who live, but Christ who lives me. So that old man that that I used to be, he's dead. He's been nailed to the cross. He's no longer alive. He's been buried with Christ. And then the life I have is that life I have in Christ. And so understanding, like, our my standing with Jesus never changes. Right. Like, when he sees me, he sees his son. When he looks at me, he looks as if I've never sinned, the grace of God and that of what happens on the cross. And so we have to remind ourselves of our identity, who we are in Christ, because the enemy is going to say

Michael Vance: [32:48] we're the opposite of that. And not your identity, how you perceive it, but your identity, what the word of God, how God perceives you. That's important. I need to say the same things about myself that God says about myself. I need to see it the way he sees it, and that helps gain your momentum back. What were the other ones you talked about? So there's Yeah. We're not perfect, but we are prepared.

David Gold: [33:15] Right? A a soldier is prepared for battle. He's equipped. So In three to three. That's Ephesians six. Right? When we look at, where we're commanded to stand strong. And that's how it starts. Therefore, stand. K. Stand strong That's good, man. Against the enemy. That's good. Take your ground in our and we're we stand on truth. We stand on who Jesus says we are. We stand on his finished work. And then it begins to tell us what we're to dress ourselves with and what we're to put on. One of the interesting things about you know, I I never thought any of my kids would serve in the military. Yeah. Let's talk about it. And so Josh, came home one day because we kept asking, hey, Ben. You're a senior. Like, what's your plan? I don't know, dad. I don't know what I wanna do. I don't wanna wanna go to school. I might just move back or work for my brother. I'm like, okay. We'll we'll figure it out. And then one day, he came home and he says, hey. I wanna be a marine. And I'm I was a little shocked. I'm like, okay. That's fine. And so that happened really quick. Went wasn't super prepared for that. But, I mean, I started learning. My dad was a marine, and so I started reading, like, okay. What's what's boot camp all about? What's he gonna experience? What's it gonna look like? And, man, what they do, like, from the very beginning, is they strip everything away. Whatever you used to be, we're gonna tear that away from you. We're gonna break all of that down, and we're going to build a marine. We're gonna make you Mhmm. A marine. That you lose your first name, all that person Yep. You know, like, now now you're you're a marine. You're part of this group of family. Your name you're gold now. You're not Joshua. You're gold. And so when I asked Joshua, like, tell me about some of your friends, it's always last name. They don't even know each other's first names. All that's intentional. All that they do to break them down, to build back what they This is good. Want. And so a soldier, right, we we have to get to that understanding, like, who we are in Christ. Like, we we are victorious. That battle, like that song, like, that battle we're fighting, it's it's already won, but we're still in the war. We're still engaged in spiritual warfare. And so we're we're to be a people who put on the armor of God. We stay humble. We stay alert. We stay sober in our thinking, and we enter into battle. We remain dependent upon Christ and who he is, for us in those things. And so and we stand firm for our families in that. Like, that's that's our role.

Michael Vance: [36:01] Yeah. If if the, US government puts enough time and effort in to prepare men for battle, physical battle. We Yeah. We, as husbands and fathers, we take our job seriously to feed our kids, to provide for them all that other stuff. Like, I don't think we talk about this kind of stuff enough. Mhmm. What does it mean to be spiritually prepared?

David Gold: [36:29] Yeah. This is this is one of the Psalms that I really appreciate for me personally. It says, blessed be the Lord. This is Psalms one forty four verse one. Blessed be the Lord, my rock. Right? One that he's he's my stronghold. He is my foundation. And then it says this, who trains my hands for war Yeah. And my fingers for battle. Like, he's the one who trains me so that I can lead my family, so that I can fight and be the soldier that he's called me to be. He's the one who trains my hands and my fingers for war and for battle. And that's encouraging. Right? It's not it's not this isn't me. This is Christ. This is God working in me to accomplish his purpose to help me, to give me everything I need to be the man of God that he's called me to be, and that he's given me Mhmm. Everything I need for life and godliness. He's given me as as his child, as the man in my home, everything I need to lead my family, everything I need to to fight the spiritual warfare that he's called me for life and godliness. He has given me everything I need. That's encouraging. When

Michael Vance: [38:01] When chaos happens Mhmm. In your family, I wanna have that sense of stability, that sense that I'm grounded in everything that you're talking about so that I can calm the room and the hearts of my loved ones. Mhmm. This is important to me. And that's why I'm, like, wanting to know the process, so I need to be prepared. I need to say the same things about myself that God sees me and not to let not to let my shortcomings and failures make me weak. Mhmm. Own them. Okay? If I'm in if I have unconfessed unconfessed sin in my life Yeah. That is hindering me from being who I need to be, own it, confess it Yeah. Rip the lid off of it. If you sin against if I've sinned against my wife, my children, just own it so it doesn't have power over me. Yeah. I mean, again Be who I'm supposed to be. Putting on the breastplate of righteousness. Right?

David Gold: [38:57] What what does that mean? Well, that what that looks like practically is that I readily, quickly repent and turn away from sin. When I'm clothed with his righteousness, that's that's what he's going to lead me to do. That's that breastplate of righteousness that I'm gonna pursue holiness. And when sin enters, and it will, and when I fall, and you will, and I will, when it happens, we're quick, right, because of the righteousness that we've been clothed in. Because of the we've closed ourselves with the righteousness of God, we quickly, honestly, transparently repent of sin. Like, one of the hardest things as a parent, right, is to realize you've messed up with your kids. Maybe you spoke harshly. Maybe you spoke in anger. Maybe you disciplined in anger. Is to come back and go, hey. I'm sorry. And not just saying I'm sorry, but I'm sorry because I didn't handle this the way God wants me to handle this. I I said something to you or said something in a tone that that wasn't building you up, that wasn't encouraging to you, and and I need to ask for your forgiveness. Like, as a parent, it's a humbling thing to do, but, man, we've gotta be willing to do that. Gotta be willing to do that with our wives. Yeah. Hey. I was short in my comment. I was a little rough in the way I responded. That's that's that's on me. That's not you. I'm, hey. I'm sorry. Can you forgive me for that? Like, quickly, when we clothe ourselves with righteousness, that's what we do.

Michael Vance: [40:37] And it's been my

Michael Vance: [40:42] it's been my experience that my loved ones respond to that. They've always responded. Like, my my kids are quick to show me some grace and love to my wife. So whatever you have built up in your own head that's hindering you from being transparent, it's in your own head. Mhmm. Like, not worth it, man. The the stakes are too high. Right? And that's not worth it. What's next in this wheelhouse of preparedness?

David Gold: [41:08] Are we do we hit everything in under preparedness? Well, I think one of the questions you asked, what's the difference between a man who believes in God and a man who's actually engaged in spiritual warfare? So I think this is important. And so, first Timothy.

David Gold: [41:30] And this this is this is the text is dealing with physical meeting the physical needs of your family. K. But it's more than just that when you look at the text as a whole. This this this talks about what are you doing spiritually for your family, providing for them, protecting them. It's all of those things, nurturing, being present, all those things that says this, that. But if anyone does not provide for his relatives Dead. And especially for members of his old household Worse than an unbeliever. Denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. Like, what an incredible warning about this idea. Like, what about what about that person who's not engaged spiritually in the battle for their family? Like, according to his text, like, you're you're worse than an unbeliever. Like, you may not even be in the faith. You're denying the faith. You're denying the gospel when you're not engaged in doing what God's called you to do as the as the king of your home. Like, again, those three things, like prophet, priest, king, that's my role as as a husband and as a father in my home. That's my responsibility. And kings are there to protect. They're there to to build those walls of defense to to have an army ready to to fight and defend the people. Like, that's that's our that's like king in the family. Lead with authority. Gracious, humble authority. Right? Not not overburdensome like kings can be, but one who's gentle, one who models Jesus our king. And so when you look at this, the real danger, right, is that if I'm if I'm being passive and I'm not engaging in those realities, like, I'm I'm I'm denying the faith. I'm denying the gospel.

Michael Vance: [43:33] That was one of the next questions. What's the danger of being passive in our roles?

David Gold: [43:37] Yeah. I I would say this, like, I I have a a little line here. At best, if you're if there's a difference between a man who believes in God and a man who actually engage in spiritual warfare, at best, one admires the king. The other fights under his command. At best, if you're being passive, you're admiring him. At worse, you're denying the faith.

Background: [44:04] K.

David Gold: [44:07] And so what what that looks like, the person who's engaging, right, is he's putting on that armor daily. He takes his thoughts captive, makes him obedient to the word of God. He leads in prayer. He leads in scripture in his home. He's actively engaging his family.

Michael Vance: [44:28] Yeah. So let's talk about that for a while because that's the next one on here, and I like how I like how we're tracking together here. Actively engaging his family with everything that I got going on my life, mister Gold. Yep. If I'm honest, and I'm gonna be honest, transparent with you, a lot of the interactions with my kids are second thoughts afterwards. Like, I've gone my whole day knocking over everything I gotta do, and, like, I haven't engaged my kids today. Mhmm. And it's been shameful to say somewhat superficial. Hey, how was school? Like, the like, going through the the things you're supposed to say, but not really talking about anything Mhmm. Because I'm tired and I'm Yeah. I'm gut you know what I mean? So actively engaging our kids.

David Gold: [45:19] What does that look like? Yeah. Well, again, I I think the encouragement is to think through it this way. If you're not engaging with them, somebody is. Somebody else is. So that's reality. And and that passivity, like we are where we are today because there's Adam's passivity in the garden. Yeah. Adam was not the man he was supposed to be in the garden in that moment. He was right there and stood passively by and didn't say anything to the enemy who was lying. He didn't protect his wife. Yeah. And everything, like, all that destruction, death enters into the entire world. Like, they're separated from God. It is has huge ramifications when we Not because of an action, but because of an inaction. Because of an inaction Yep. We're on this boat that we're in. Yeah. And again, I would I would say this, like, passivity isn't neutral.

Background: [46:23] It's not.

Michael Vance: [46:28] It's choosing not to. Yeah.

David Gold: [46:32] Passivity isn't not do anything. It's it's It's choosing

Michael Vance: [46:36] It's choosing not to because I don't wanna put in the effort. Yep. Or I don't wanna put in the time or is it gonna cost me? Yeah. So the passivity leads to slow decay.

David Gold: [46:46] It leads to to that what that then begins to feel normal, that disengagement, and it's just it and all that leads to destruction.

Michael Vance: [47:00] And then then in regard to what we're talking about with if there is if there is a realm beyond the physical that we cannot see and there is forces that are against us Mhmm. This is prime

David Gold: [47:18] territory for them to get in and do that. Yeah. Just and again, like, there is there is an unseen world, but we can there there are aspects of the unseen world that we can see. Right? World governments, world culture, all those things are what's behind those things is the unseen world. Right. We can see them. And so, like, if we're not engaging with our family, with our wives, with our children, the culture is. And what's behind that culture The ones pulling is the enemies. Got it. Right. Got it. So This is practical. Okay. So okay. So how does this,

Michael Vance: [47:57] okay, so how does this fit for a dad or a grandfather, like, practically? Mhmm. If I'm not taking time to take my kids to go or my grandkids to go do something to spend some quality time with them, maybe out the ranch or, like, just doing something, speaking the word into them, and they're

David Gold: [48:11] on Instagram all day or You hit it you a word. I wanna I wanna share a conversation I had with my dad, when I was late teens. And I it's probably the one of the most important things I think my dad ever said to me. Mhmm. And I'm man, I'm so grateful for my dad. Spiritual giant.

Michael Vance: [48:32] Mhmm.

David Gold: [48:36] And he he looked at me and he says, David, he says, you need to understand something. He said, this world is going to tell you that quality time is what your family and your kids need. Wow. And he's I'm gonna tell you it's a lie. Wow. He says what they need is quantity.

Michael Vance: [48:54] Wow.

David Gold: [48:55] He says they need you. And, man, it even as a teenager. And the reason it stuck as I was like, well, dad, that's what you've been in my life.

Background: [49:08] No.

David Gold: [49:10] Like, my dad was present, and he wanted to be present. It was a joy for him to be present with me and my brothers. And, again, I don't know how my dad did all that he did. Like, worked hard, provided for his family, would come home, and would keep working. And I don't mean, like, on his job. I mean, just in the home, being present. I don't know how he figured out, but he coached me in every sport I ever played till I got to high school where he couldn't coach me anymore. He never missed a ball game. Not a single ball game. Wow. And that's with two of us playing college football at two different schools. Wow. Like, he was just present, and you knew he wanted to be there. And so pro I mean, just practically what he did in my life, by modeling that for me. Like, I I I just knew that, my dad loved me. I knew that, and he and he showed that by just being present and being engaged. It's easy to come home from a long day of work. Right? And just I just I need I need my time. Like, I I need to go sit at the TV and fetch my rena, and I get that sometimes. Like and I've I've done those same things. But, man, to press into our kids even when retired, to know the importance of that, and that they're gonna know like, even though they don't understand it, they're gonna know that you wanna be there, that you wanna be engaged. And, we're going to fail at that. We're gonna be there's gonna be seasons in life when we're better at that than others. There are gonna be seasons in life when, like, life's just crazy.

Michael Vance: [51:05] Yeah. I just had a mental picture. I'm disciplined when I go to my gym. Mhmm. Most of the time, don't feel like going by, do it anyway. Yeah. And a 100% of the time, I've always been glad that I did. I always felt better afterwards. Yeah. There's been times, pastor Gold, and I hate to tell you this, I didn't feel like going to church on Wednesday night. I was tired. Yeah. Absolutely. I'm a pastor, and I feel that way. But I'll tell you this, every single time I left Yeah. I'm thankful I did. Yep. So when it comes time to spending time with my loved ones, not spending quality time but quantity of time Yeah. If I have that same mindset, hey, kids, let's let's play some cards. Let's let's do something. I think there would be that same benefit where I didn't wanna do this, but I did. Mhmm. And I'm so glad I did. Yeah. I need to I need that's something personally I need to pick that up and carry.

David Gold: [52:06] And, again, there's there's times where I feel like I did better than than others, like, as a dad. And ministry has its own, its own demands, like, that are really, really difficult. And that, you know, I have to go to my kids and go, hey, man. I'm I'm really sorry that I couldn't be here for this or because this happened. Their their demands sometimes that that gets difficult. And but being honest with your kids, like, hey. It's just a it's just a really like, dad's really busy. It's not because I don't wanna be with you, and I'm gonna do everything I can to to to make sure that I'm engaging. And it doesn't mean that you have to spend hours upon hours. Right. It's just a matter of checking in, like, and being present in their life about

Michael Vance: [52:48] about what's going on and, like, really care. It's so important. That's important. Again, I'm we're I'm vibing with you because it's it's important for them to hear it from you because guaranteed, there's a voice going on to their head. And if you're not telling them Yeah. There's something is telling them. So if you're not telling them why you can't be there Mhmm. They're gonna fill in those gaps for themselves and have this narrative in their head that may or may not be right. Yeah. For sure. So just I'm I'm this is so helpful for me. Mhmm. And I still got kids at home. I got grandkids. And, like, if I I need to communicate

David Gold: [53:19] Yeah. Consistency is king. K. Long obedience in the same direction. My man. I'm I'm glad we're talking about this stuff. Wow.

Michael Vance: [53:33] My daughter, Michael's wife, Brooke, she always she called me on the way home from work one day last week to dad. Just want to tell I love you. She said, dad, this podcast thing you're doing, she said, dad, I just want you to know if it goes big or not, I sure have enjoyed listening to it. Mhmm. She said, dad, there's perspectives that I had of you. And she said, I don't know why I had them because you never told them to me. But she had a narrative in her head where dad thinks about me like this. She says, you never told me that, but she's learning because I'm being transparent here and I'm sharing stories. She's learning things about me that she thought I thought a certain way and I didn't think a certain way, and she's just now hearing it from me through this podcast Mhmm. Instead of back then. So for a year, she had this concept of how dad thought about her that wasn't true because I didn't take the time to have a conversation with her about it. Yeah. So I'm glad we we hit across this because this is real life stuff.

David Gold: [54:37] Yeah. So I like, again, there's my mom and dad were incredible incredible people that love Jesus. And and, again, I credit I credit that to God's grace and goodness in their life and the way that they raised us and the home that they provided for us. So one of the things that I I learned from my dad, right, is my dad worked every day, to deliver a father's blessing. What does that mean? It is his love, unconditional love. He did he genuinely, every day, tried to deliver that. Like, I knew that my dad's hugs were for free. I didn't have to do anything to get them. Matter of fact, in spite of sometimes probably not deserving that hug, I got him anyway. He loved me. Security, as a kid, never never worried. Like, when I was around my dad, there wasn't no worry in my life. I was safe. He was safe. Provided security in my life. His approval

David Gold: [56:04] wasn't conditional. He didn't approve of me when I did the things that he wanted me to do. Like, I had his approval and his acceptance.

David Gold: [56:20] Like, you're my child. You will always be my child and his presence. That's that's a father's blessing. Those things, we, as dads, right, have to deliver by God's grace and his mercy, a father's blessing to our children.

David Gold: [56:46] Yeah. That's what we're that's what we're running after, right, to be to be that presence. And so I and again, I think that can start small. Right? It doesn't have to start big. Like, just for the average ad, like, because you were talking about, like, man, I'm so I'm so tired. I'm like, I'm I'm working hard, and dads do that you're like, you should be providing for your family. It it start with just five minutes a day. Right? And and I would say five minutes of of praying, five minutes of reading scripture together, five minutes of singing, worshiping together, five minutes of engaging questions, checking in with your kids. I mean, how are you doing? Like, really, how are how are you? What's going on in your life? That's convicting. Yeah. Just start small. It doesn't have to be like, man, we're gonna, you know, we're gonna do an hour every night. Like, no. Like, just be

Michael Vance: [57:59] consistent. Like going to the gym. Don't do an hour. Just do something. Yeah. Same with your kids. You just just do something with them. Yep. That's convicting. Yeah. I I hadn't been in a gym in years,

David Gold: [58:09] and it shows. But, I was just like, I have to start somewhere. And so I just started with one day a week, twenty minutes, thirty minutes, and that moved that turned to two days a week, twenty, thirty minutes, and now in three days a week, twenty, thirty minutes in. It's just what you do. Yeah. And and now I'm just that's what I'm doing. And just starting small and and, again, like, consistency is king. We're not talking about having these because you don't want it to be boring. You don't want it to be overburdensome for yourself or even for your family. It's just taking time every day to engage with your family. And even with, like, let's say empty nest, like, don't have kids at home anymore. So every evening, like, we're, I shouldn't say every evening. Let me back up. Most evenings, five at least five to six evenings a week, Julie and I have a reading plan. We read the scriptures together. We talk about what we've read. We've talked about what we've learned, and then we just pray for each other. Good. Every evening. Like and that's not that doesn't take that's that's twenty minutes tops to read three or four chapters. Then for us to engage each other, talk through those things, share with what we're learning, share with, hey, man. This is how I need to be praying for me in the way that I apply this. And so it's just daily doing those things, being present.

Michael Vance: [59:36] So as you're talking, we're gonna move on after this one Yeah. To the next point. Next point is protecting your family. What does that look like? Yeah. But, as you were talking,

Michael Vance: [59:51] early on, I started business. I was forced into start my own business. Was working for a guy. He went bankrupt, and I had babies. And so I would I'm trying to grow this business. This business is what feeds us. Mhmm. And just as you and I are talking, I had to kinda like this flashback is I would do whatever a customer needed because that's my next referral. I worked on Christmas one time. I worked at Christmas one time because was supposed to finish and didn't. But because I gotta do what's do what I'm be responsible. And just looking back, like, I can see how it was easier just to make my kids wait or, hey, I gotta do this first and I can Yeah. I think in our culture, our American culture, this maybe competing with the Jones' thing or maybe just trying to keep up, just a fast pace. Like, to me, like, where I'm looking at where I'm at right now, just kinda like looking back.

Michael Vance: [1:01:00] And again, you you have no do overs. I'm just working this through with you. We're just talking through this. But if I had maybe lived a little simpler, turned down a job, spent some time with my kids, like, elevated them instead of just trying to provide, said no to a couple jobs, left early off of a job one day because my it's my kid's birthday. Mhmm. I don't think that would've hurt our family. So I think simplifying things, maybe driving a used car, maybe, like, because there is that against us, like, this man, our our emails. You know how many emails my wife gets a day? You know what I mean? Like, just we're so busy with everything else to learn how to say no Mhmm.

Michael Vance: [1:01:50] And prioritize family. Right. I don't like listening into you talking about your dad. I don't think I I don't think he regrets missing your games.

David Gold: [1:02:00] No. And there there are things that I knew that my dad like, I didn't know until later in life, like the sacrifices that he made, financial sacrifices he made. And my dad did well. Like, he he provided he did well. Like, I I know that I didn't know this until later in life where he had an opportunity when State Farm was first starting. My dad owned an insurance company. State Farm recruited him and said, hey. We're gonna give you your own your own branch. You gotta move to Columbia because I want we're gonna give you your own branch. This is what we want you to do. And dad understood what that meant. Didn't understand moving us. It under it meant, man, he's gonna have to work really hard and long hours, and he declined and gave that job to his right hand man. He said this, I can't do it, but this guy will do it. That guy's a multimillionaire. Wow. My dad was never a multimillionaire, but, man, we never lacked for anything. And I and I again, like, you look back and you go, man, I like, that was a big sacrifice for a man to go, no. I'm I'm not going to do that because I know I know that's what that's going to require. Yeah. We them. Am not willing not willing to give those things up.

Michael Vance: [1:03:21] It's a good testimony.

David Gold: [1:03:22] Yeah. I mean, it's just It's good. Yeah. I can't fill his shoes. That's for sure.

Michael Vance: [1:03:32] I feel like I get a good vibe of who he was too. A little bit, I've known you. Yeah. Yeah. You have a

Background: [1:03:40] you got some good qualities about you. And he's a good dad, for sure. Good father. Are you on number four? Yeah.

Michael Vance: [1:03:51] Protecting your family. As a husband and father, I know how to protect physically. What does it look like to protect your wife, your children spiritually on a daily basis? What the what are practical things a man should be doing consistently? What are warning signs that a home is spiritually unprotected? Mhmm. There's some good stuff here. Yeah. And, again, I don't care reading these because this is so important. I don't wanna miss it. Yeah. I'm glad you got it there in front of you. Yeah. I would say this. It's

David Gold: [1:04:19] it's similar. Right? To Yes. What does it look like to you physically protect your family? I think it's very similar to what it looked like spiritually. Okay. Because you know what it looks like physically to put yourself in between your family and the enemy or danger. Like, you get it. Like, you know, when you go into a restaurant, I don't want my back We've talked about door. Like, I'm I'm gonna position myself where I can see what's happening. Yeah. And if any threats, like, I'm I'm stepping in between you and what you're trying, like And want to. Absolutely. I want it. And that's the same thing spiritually as, like, we get that picture of, God asking in Ezekiel 22. Like, who who will stand in the gap for my people? Who? I'm gonna ask the question. Like, are you willing to stand in the gap for my people? And then the okay. So what does that what does that mean? What does that look like to stand in the gap? And if we're not standing in the gap for our family, then who is? We can't that's our responsibility as as husbands, as fathers, to stand in the gap. That looks like personal faithfulness. K. That I I am leading myself, like, spiritually, personal faithfulness in in treasuring God as my highest priority in life. But that's first and foremost. If I'm I can't stand in the gap for my family if if I'm not doing this. If he's not the highest priority in my life, I can't stand in the gap for my family. And that looks like praying, like, consistently, regularly on my knees, standing in the gap Mhmm. Personally, but also for my family. That looks like being in the scriptures, studying, praying faithfully every day in the scriptures, knowing the words so that I can lead my family, be inspired by the words so that I can lead my family.

Michael Vance: [1:06:29] I'll just use myself as we go back and forth. I'll just Mhmm. Use myself as an example as we go through these things. So, I was a dad when I was 21 years old. K? And prayer used to be something that I would go to when I couldn't get it done myself. Mhmm. It was a last resort. When I when I was exhausted and I couldn't make it happen, then I would pray. Yeah. Now now where I am that my family is bigger and life is more complicated, there's more scenarios at play when then that was just me with my wife and my one little baby. Like, there's more things at play. And then plus through God just sanctify me and doing his work in me. I find myself praying more. I guess that's that's my primary thing. Mhmm. If I if I gotta get something done, I pray. And I find myself doing less, praying more and doing less. In regard to bible reading, early on, I don't have I was never a good reader. Mhmm. And I would maybe read God's word as a dad early on, like, half the time. Like, you know, maybe maybe on a Monday after Sunday because I, you know, read something. Now I digest God's word pretty much throughout the day. Yeah. Mean, with technology, my earbuds are in, and I'm playing his word. And if there's something like, oh, that's good, I'll screenshot and come back to it. But I'm died like, it's not, okay, I gotta spend an hour in God's word today. Like, okay, that's I did my hour. I'm, like, constantly I'm in on a cons I'm in a constant state of prayer and in a constant state of digesting on his word, and I feel healthy. Yep. I feel healthy. And I wish I'm, you know, 50. I wish I would've

David Gold: [1:08:35] done it sooner. And, again, I think that's part of us all spiritual growth as well. Right? Like, we're we're not the same man we were last year, six months ago. Right. I'm not the same man I was ten years ago. Not the same pastor I was when I started. So part of this is just spiritual growth and what God's doing and teaching us those things and leading us in those things.

David Gold: [1:09:04] So, like, I I think we can be really hard on ourselves sometime when we don't feel like we're doing that. But I like, my routine, like, is man, before I ever get out of the bed, like, I I purposely just roll over,

David Gold: [1:09:22] bow my head as I lay there, and I just acknowledge God. Like, I I know how desperate I am of you today. Like, I need you in every moment. I don't know what's coming today, but I know that I need you for whatever's coming. I pray for my wife. I pray for myself. I pray for my kids. Like, Lord, just be present in our hearts today. Let us walk in that reality. Help me to resist temptation. Help me to resist sin. Help me to just help me to be faithful today. That's before I ever ever roll out of bed and whatever else God may lay on my heart. Like this morning, it was, Lord, as we gather Sure. With with Keith today and do Still Strong. Like, Lord, just be present. Like, be in the room. Be be with us. Help what we say to be honoring to you and glorifying to you. Help us to speak with clarity. Like, whatever those things are, that happens before I ever get out of bed. And I get ready for the day. My wife, her routine, is she gets up. She has her quiet time, before she leaves for work, and so that's, like, six 06:00 in the morning for her. She's doing that. And so I'm I'm not I'm not too far behind her in getting up, and I get to the office. And I sit down, and I do do a couple of readings from Spurgeon just to inspire my heart to read. And then I have, like, a very serious, like, I'm gonna stop. I'm gonna get on my knees, and we're just gonna talk to Jesus. Like, I wanna be quiet. Lord, what about what I read this morning? Like, do you want it needs to be shaped in my heart. Help me and, again, just again, help me with my day. And then things change what I pray for during this time. There's certain things I pray for staff, and then there's times when I pray for different people within the church ministries that are happening. That all gets kinda kinda different. And then I have just where I just get into the word and I start reading and start praying. And so those those are things, right, where that's how I stand in the gap for my family is, like, personally making sure I'm I'm following Jesus. I can't lead anyone or even my family or my wife if if I'm not being led by him. So the beautiful thing about discipleship is when I'm discipling my family, if I'm doing it right, right, if I'm in the word doing those things, as I'm leading my family, God is leading me. Amen. He's discipling me as I'm in his word, personally pursuing those things. And so that's always encouraged. That's the beautiful thing about discipleship. Even when I'm intentionally walking one on one or one on three with someone, as I'm leading them and discipling them, God's disciple. Because I have to be in the word to lead them. That's it. If you wanna be effective, it better be in you first. And they can pick up on if it's Absolutely. Your Like, even on Wednesday nights. Like, if I'm not prepared for Wednesday nights, I I can't lead anybody. Like, I have to be in that. Yeah. And again, that that book's been a part of my life for for years of reading and wanting that stuff to get worked out in my heart and my life. And as those things have been worked out, that's been spirit of God working in me, changing me, to lead me those things. And so, I mean, that's what I think it looks like to stand in the gap is personally, first and foremost, right, is that that I'm personally being faithful to Jesus, putting on the full armor of God. And then I'm guarding the gates of my home.

Michael Vance: [1:13:05] So do you pray for spear spiritual protection over yourself, over your family, over your Yeah. Like,

David Gold: [1:13:14] there's been a few times, right, where, we've moved to different homes. And I remember one when we were early. We had we just had Joe, our second son, and we went to bed. We moved into this new place. We're trying and there's just such unrest in the home. Like, just no one can sleep. Put Riley in bed, comes in our room crying, just can't he can't rest. We can't rest. Like, there's something. Something's going on. And I'm like, man, there there's there's some spiritual warfare happening right here in this home. And so literally, I just got up, and I just started praying over every room. Lord, we just we just want this place to be a place of rest, a place of sanctuary. Lord, would you just set your angels around our home, hedge path protection? We want, desire this to be a place of refuge and rest. And so went through the whole house doing that, came back, put him in his bed, knocks out, sleep. I'm able to sleep. My wife's like, everyone's able to rest. So those have been interesting moments where things like that happen. But certainly, you know, Lord, protect my kids today.

Michael Vance: [1:14:32] They should be Protect my son today. Protect their hearts. Protect their minds. That should be a part of our prayer. Job prayed for his kids. Abs absolutely. He offered sacrifices to them just in case. Just in case. Just in case. Yep. That should be our role. Mhmm. When you talked about protection of your home, it was I don't know. I'm like you. I think my kids have been out of the house for five years, but talk to Julie, like, she would, like, tell me if I'm right or wrong. Like, my concept of time is, like, messed up. Yep. So I wanna say it was a few months ago. Few months ago, it was about 02:00 in the morning. I was in a dead sleep, and I was woke up out of a dead sleep in, a panic. Like, a panic that like, a sudden fear. A sudden fear. And it wasn't just any one thing. It was everything. Mhmm. And I never experienced that before. It was just a sudden fear, and it wasn't even really physical stuff. It was

Michael Vance: [1:15:36] what if I die right now? Where am I gonna like, it was other stuff. Like

Background: [1:15:42] and I

Michael Vance: [1:15:47] was praying, and I was speaking to myself, and verses were coming to my mind that had to do with fear and had to do with, you know, the word of God. And I, like, I I was stabilizing myself. Mhmm. I was stabilizing myself with the word of God and praying for myself. And then the next day, the next morning, I got a text from a friend of mine, Nathan Ralston. He was on this podcast. We weren't friends before. He said, hey, just wanna let you know I God woke me up about 02:00 in the morning. I prayed for you for about an hour. We hadn't talked in years. Mhmm. And I shared with him what I was going through.

Michael Vance: [1:16:28] Yeah. That tells you Yeah. Absolutely. There is stuff behind the scenes. Absolutely. If God if God pricks you in your heart to get up at 02:00 in morning and pray for somebody Yeah. To get up. Don't roll back over, brother. Get up, soldier up, and pray because there's there's some warfare going on. Yeah. For sure.

David Gold: [1:16:43] Yeah. And it and it happens often, like, when when the Lord will press on my heart to pray for someone, and I'll just stop and I'll pray. And, I'm not always disciplined to that, but then I'll just text and say, hey. I'm I'm not sure what's going on, but just want you to know that, like, the Lord the Lord pressed upon my heart to pray for you, and they'll respond, hey. You have no idea. Like, this is what's going on. Good. And so those things are encouraging when you learn to hear the voice of God and the spirit of God moving and

Michael Vance: [1:17:10] learning to listen to that voice. Because we're not just in a battle alone. We're in a battle together. We're we're Absolutely. We're a family. We're fellow brethren. Like, we're, what do you have for what are the warning signs at home maybe spiritually unprotected?

David Gold: [1:17:28] Yeah. I I say if you're one, if you're not leading yourself, like, if you're not in the word, you're not spending time in scripture, you're not spending time personally praying, like, you're in a serious danger zone.

Michael Vance: [1:17:40] K.

David Gold: [1:17:42] If you are if you're as a family and with your wife, if you're not praying together, if you're not reading scripture together Alright. Like, those are huge warning signs. If and I I would and most people a lot of people miss this one. If you're not connected to the body of Christ

Michael Vance: [1:18:01] Okay. Significantly

David Gold: [1:18:03] Okay. Regularly in attendance in a faithful Bible teaching church, you are on the edge of disaster with your family spiritually. Those are heavy words. Yeah. Like, were you were you were walking headlong into destruction. God never created us to be alone. K. He never he there is no such thing in scripture as a believer, as a man who doesn't need the church, who doesn't need the body of Christ. And and the scriptures are clear. Like, the hand can't say to the foot, I don't need you, or to the eye, I don't need you. Like, we need each other, and we need the consistent regular gathering of God's body to be encouraged by each other, to be encouraged by the word, to be challenged by the word, to consistently regularly hear truth, and to worship God together. And if we're not doing that k. Like, you're you're telling your family, Like, whether you realize it or not, I don't care what you're doing in your home, you were telling your family. The church doesn't matter, and the church doesn't matter. God doesn't matter. Jesus doesn't matter. None of it matters. That's what you're telling them. That's those are heavy words. Yeah. And so I I think when people when you begin to see your life, step away from being in the word Yeah. From stepping away from praying Yeah. Stepping away from the church Yeah. Like you're you're in serious danger. Alright. And you're and because you're in danger, your family's in danger. Okay. So two things.

Michael Vance: [1:19:41] I could not go to the gym for maybe three or four months. You'd never know it. By the time you figured it out that I wasn't going to the gym, it it would probably be too late. You know what mean? Like, it's been a while. Yeah. So in regard to what you just talked about, your prayer, you're reading the bible, you're going to church, we started with I told you what Still Strong was, still a continuation of links in the chain. Yep. How many links back do you go? How many days how many days do you go back that you're in the danger zone if you haven't been praying, if you haven't been reading your bible, and if you haven't been in the church? When are you in the danger zone? Like, how long how many days can you go without praying before you're in the danger zone? Man, I'd I'd say a day. Like A day? Man, if you if you get in there without, like, seriously One day. Thinking about

David Gold: [1:20:32] like, in the moment. Like, I don't even know if it's a day. Like, in the moment, you leave your house K. Without even considering that you need Jesus, that you need his spirit, that you need his word to accomplish what you're going to do in a way that matters, the way that's glorifying to him. There's a lot we can do. There's a lot of man that's a lot that man can do. Right? There's a lot that man can achieve. It doesn't mean that it's God glorifying. Understood.

Michael Vance: [1:21:02] What about reading his word, being nourished by his word? I mean, let me see. Let's

David Gold: [1:21:08] just look think about this statistically. A person who's in the word once or twice a week, no change in their life. Statistically, it's proven. Just because you're reading it a couple of days a week, there's actually no transformative change in your life. That goes all the way up to four days a week. If you're four days a week, there's still nothing transformative happening. When you get beyond the four and you're you're four, five, six days a week in the word, there is massive seismic change in your life. K. Like, it's it's that important. Like, just because you're tipping your hat to God,

Michael Vance: [1:21:53] and I'm I read my Bible a couple of days this week, like, it's not changing you. So as someone who wants to who's hearing this and is being convicted and say, okay. I wanna soldier up. I need to soldier up. Yeah. You're six, seven days a week in God's word. Absolutely. Prayer is moment by moment. Yep. What about what about the links in the chain from being connected to the body of Christ?

David Gold: [1:22:13] Yeah. Repent and go. Like, find you a biblical church and go. Get it.

Michael Vance: [1:22:20] It's Absolutely. K. I mean, this is your wheelhouse. You've been doing this for seven years. There is again, like, when you read scripture, like, it's

David Gold: [1:22:29] there are 50 over 51 and others in scripture in the New Testament. You cannot do those outside of praying for someone. You cannot do this apart from being connected to the body of Christ. You can't serve me sitting in your living room watching church. You can't. You can't love me from your living room watching church. You can't love me sitting in a deer stand on a Sunday. You can't love me when you're out on the water fishing or doing sports or whatever it is you're doing that's taking priority over the gathered body of Christ, and you're telling your family it's not important.

Michael Vance: [1:23:09] K. You wanna move on to another one? Yeah. We can. That was a good one. In case you guys are looking for a good church, I know one. We'll put in the link.

David Gold: [1:23:22] Where are we at, pastor Gold? So we're go to five or do you wanna

Michael Vance: [1:23:26] Yeah. Get some of those other ones, follow-up ones? I think we're good with five. Okay. You good with five? Yep. I like this. Weapons and discipline. I like discipline. Weapons and discipline. If we stay in that soldier mindset, what are the actual weapons a man has Mhmm. In spiritual warfare? Most men hear things like prayer, scripture, faith, but what does effective use of these actually look like? Why do men struggle to stay consistent in these disciplines? Again, this is just there's so much here, man. Yeah. Okay. So let's just take our time.

David Gold: [1:24:03] Yeah. So let's just we'll just walk through Yes. Ephesians six, the full armor of God. Like, we're called to stand, so that's part of what we do. Like, we we make a conscious decision and I'm gonna stand that I'm going to put on the full armor of God. Every day when I get up, this is how I dress. You dress for work. You like whatever it is that you do. You dress for success. Right? You're you're gonna dress a certain way to to accomplish what you need to accomplish for that day. You know, in construction business, you're not gonna show up as a as a worker without your your tool belt on. You would be silly. Like, you you're not going anything done. Right. You're be selling. Your your work gloves, all those things. Right? You're gonna show up with what you need to do the job that you've been called to do and gifted to do. And so as as the people of God, as as believers, like, we're called to stand in every day, put on the full armor of God. And that's the belt of truth, which is and that means living and speaking the reality as God defines it for ourselves and for our family. I like what you said, how God defines it. Yeah. Not how the world defines truth, but how God's word defines what truth is. And not how I feel about it. Absolutely. Yeah. It's important. Yeah. It's his truth. Breastplate of righteousness. That's Christ's righteousness and and plus plus practical holiness. Right? So that reality that I have been set apart from sin, set apart for God, I've been clothed with the righteousness of God. So positionally, righteous, perfect in Christ. That's and that's where the enemy likes to attack with lies, and so we have to believe the truth. Now this is this is who I am. I'm actually dead to sin. So practical holiness is I have to recognize, acknowledge, apprehend, and appropriate reality that I've died to sin. And I've been made alive in Christ. I I I it's dead to me. It doesn't have long enough power over me. That old man that's died, I now walk in Christ, live in Christ. So your identity helps with that. So put on the breastplate of righteousness. Have shoes of the gospel of peace, meaning ready to stand firm and and to bring peace. Like, we're people of peace. We walk in peace. And that's hugely important in our family and with our wives, that there were men of peace, that were men of the gospel. Oh, that's a good one. Yeah. Like, that's that's what it means. Like, your shoes, like, you put your shoes on when you go out of the house, like, to protect your feet, like, all those things that you do, like, to get you to to move forward, that that's important for us, and that's the gospel. It's peace. We're gonna walk in peace. Be men of peace. The shield of faith, trusting God's promises to quench the lies and the darts of the enemy. Like, that's that's what that's for. The helmet of salvation, the assurance of our identity in Christ. Like, I'm gonna remind myself, clothe myself with the reality of who I am in him. Like, let's just choose Still Strong. In Jesus, I'm Still Strong no matter what the enemy says. Because

Michael Vance: [1:27:26] of our position in him? Absolutely.

David Gold: [1:27:28] In him, I've made a life dead to sin. In him, I am his child, beloved child. I have his presence. Right? Getting back to the father's blessing. Yep. Perfectly. God perfectly delivers the father's blessing. I have his perfect love, his perfect acceptance, his perfect approval, his perfect presence, his perfect security. That's what I have in him.

Background: [1:27:58] And a little

Michael Vance: [1:28:00] postscript to that, you talked about his blessing. Again, I've told you this before. It just flipped my brain. Learning to accept what God says about me and shutting down my own voice of how I think he sees me or perceives me. Yeah. K? And when you said, hey. We are blessed in heavenly places as Christ Jesus, and you said, hey, I don't even ask God to bless my food because my food is already blessed. It just I changed my prayer. God bless my children. No. My like, if I'm blessed as Christ Mhmm. Then I don't need to ask for it. I have it. I need to walk in it. Absolutely. It's good. It's been helpful, man. Yeah.

David Gold: [1:28:44] It's challenging. Yeah. Sword of the spirit. You know, that's that's the word of God. That's what we spoken and applied to our lives. Like, that's what we we we we clothe ourself with that. We're in that. And then I I think prayer, like, is another outside of the, that, I mean, he continues to say in in those verses, like, pray pray without ceasing, like, continually praying. That's an important part of our our strategy in fighting the enemy. And and I would again, I would say this at the end. Another important part of the actual weapons that God's given us is the church. Like, it's Community. So important for us to be a part regularly, consistently engaged with a local body gathered together as the church. Hugely important.

Michael Vance: [1:29:47] Those components that were to put on, I'll just make some some comments and then Mhmm. If there's something there, we can talk about it. But that shield of faith, I've heard that that shield of faith is like the giant Roman sword, not like the little Greek sword that you you you just you just get behind it. Yep. You can't see. You just get behind it. Just just And deflects everything. Deflects everything. It was interesting, the helmet of salvation. The helmet protects the mind. Mhmm. And when I told you I woke up in a panic and I was even doubting my salvation, like, there's we have to protect our minds. Is there significance to it being the helmet salvation? I had never thought of this before. Why not the

David Gold: [1:30:34] where there's a shield of faith, why not the helmet of faith? Is there significance to that? Well, I think I think the idea of the salvation thing is like that that reality that that's where my identity, right k. In Christ. Like, it that's what it's connected to. The helmet of salvation that I'm I am in Christ. K. He's in me. I'm in him, and that I'm his child. So that and because the enemy like, the attack of the enemy is The mind. Is the mind. He's gonna attack. That is why we take every thought captive and make it obedient to the word of God. Got it. So I think that's the significance of that, is the helmet is where where our identity is wrapped up in our thinking and how we think about ourselves, how we think about the world, how how we think about anything that happens in in our in our lives as as families. So, like, things that I try to help, couples with sometimes who are who are struggling is we can view conflict as a problem. Right? No no one likes conflict. But conflict Mhmm. In relationships can be an attack of the enemy. Mhmm. Right? Or, if you see it rightly, think about it rightly, it's an invitation by God to be changed. To be better. To get better. Absolutely. And that's what that's conflict is a ministry opportunity. It's not I'm right. She's wrong. That's right. He's wrong. She's like It's an opportunity. Ministry opportunity where God wants to transform you. Got it. Not your spouse, not your children, but you. So when you're in the midst of that conflict, right, our our response is like, well, man, they're getting in my way. They're interrupting like, interruptions in life and in the family is ministry opportunity. And we get upset and we get angry and we get frustrated when interruptions happen because people's getting in way of what I want. And God's going, no, I wanna change you. And so to think about, well, why why am why is this bothering me? Why am I angry about this? Why why am I taking what my children did so personally and not even giving thought to what this means about their relationship with God?

Background: [1:33:01] Thank you for bringing that up.

Michael Vance: [1:33:03] I should have brought a notebook. Well, I can listen to this and take notes. There's so much here, man. Yeah. The, the sword, Again, you can correct me if I'm wrong, but I heard that the sword was like a little dagger. Like, the Romans had this giant sword. Yep. So when you talk about the word of God, which is the sword is not, you know, quoting from Genesis all the way to Revelation, these giant passages, it's just these little Mhmm. Truth. This is this little in the moment Yep. In a Youthful lust. Like, all these just these little Yeah. Is that accurate?

David Gold: [1:33:38] Sure. Absolutely.

Michael Vance: [1:33:39] It needs to be in us. Mhmm. But you don't need to memorize the whole chapter. Yep.

David Gold: [1:33:44] Yeah. I mean, truth. Right? That that whole idea of, the buckle of truth, like, confronts lies, with scripture out loud. That's how we operate with our family. When when we see falsehood, when we see cultural pressure, when we see lies of the world, we confront that with truth. Hey. This is what God's word says about this, and we bring the gospel to that. Righteousness, again, is that quick repentance.

Michael Vance: [1:34:20] I didn't realize that. Righteousness looks like. Realize that, but that was good. Thank you. I didn't realize that's what that was. Yep. Quick repentance. Absolutely. Keep a short list. Mhmm.

David Gold: [1:34:31] Faith, right, declares, God's promises when fear hits.

Background: [1:34:37] K. Yeah.

David Gold: [1:34:39] That's what faith that's what faith is doing. The sword, right, that's that's memorizing and speaking verses against temptation. Good. Well, how does Jesus defeat temptation? Quote scripture. Yeah. With the word. And that's that's what we're that's what the words there for. That's what the swords there for is for us to to fight that battle. And then praying. Right? Being specific. Praying, for your family. Praying for your family members by name. Right? That God because our our kids, right, are all different. They all have different struggles. And you gotta study your kids. You gotta know them. You gotta know their tendencies, what their tendencies are towards sin Okay. What their tendencies are towards and, like, man, you have to you have to know those things. Even about your spouse, like, study your wife. Like, we change. Like, I'm not the same man that I was when my wife was and my wife's not the same woman she was when we were married. And so, like, I'm constantly

Michael Vance: [1:35:44] So if you're still learning and studying my wife and my kids. If you've been married for thirty seven years and you're still praying for your wife to learn how to cook a meal like you did in the year one, you don't know your wife very well. Yeah.

David Gold: [1:35:57] Absolutely. Yeah. Absolutely.

Michael Vance: [1:36:00] And I think our prayer life that's good, man, because I I noticed this to myself the last few months. You get used to these prayer routines, But you know what? My kid's not 10 years old anymore. He's a man with a Yeah. Kids of his own. Like like, read the environment and pray pray appropriately and break that mindset of those rote prayers. You're Yep. You're

David Gold: [1:36:31] having a conversation with God Mhmm. Just like you do with your wife or anybody that I talk to my kids, the way that I talk with you or anybody else Should be. Should be the way I pray. It should be the same. It shouldn't be this, like, oh my goodness. What happened? Like and sometimes I love to hear people who pray with that kind of that old school, like, my goodness. He's that's not how when I talk to him, that's not how that's not how he talks. But when he's praying, it's different. So, like, I get there's this, man, we're entering to to this this reverence before God. And I should be careful about Sure. How I pray and what I pray. But I think it's also important for our kids to,

David Gold: [1:37:11] like, to hear us in our in our on our normal voice when we're praying.

Michael Vance: [1:37:16] Nathan, he he challenged my thinking. If God knows our thoughts, God knows everything about us. Mhmm. And you're praying a certain way. He knows how you're thinking that prayer, so you're not impressing him. So you might as well just pray to him from that inward man anyway because that's the inward man is what he sees anyway. Like, he knows everything about us, so don't try to impress him. Yeah. There's nothing secret with God. No. And it helped me. Like, we know these things, but just to hear it from a different angle, like, it just challenged me. It's good. Why do most men struggle to stay consistent in these disciplines? Because it is a discipline. Yeah.

David Gold: [1:37:56] I think I think busyness is a big one. Distractions

David Gold: [1:38:05] lead to those inconsistencies. Fatigue. So, like, I I know like, again, pushing pushing back to to my dad, like, I know my dad had to go to bed exhausted every day. Like, had to to do all that he did, in the way he did then and did and did those things well. So, yeah, I I think busyness, I think unbelief

David Gold: [1:38:40] that what we do really matters.

Michael Vance: [1:38:43] Like, spiritual like Yeah. Like That's good. Unbelief is a big one. Like, is this really important? No. No. No. It's really, really important. I like that. Because I'm gonna relate this to the I'm gonna relate this to the gym. Okay? My discipline to go to the gym. The times that I there's been stents where I have been days without going. It was either Yeah. I was busy one day and and chose not to, and that created several days where I didn't. Maybe I got sick. I got sick and then stopped going. It took me a while to get back in that routine. One is, is it really that important? I mean, Keith, you're 50 years old. Is it really that important, like, take a day off? Like so there's these things that maybe you choose to take a day off. Right. And then days turn into weeks turn into and then now you're out of a routine. Now it's not even a habit or discipline, and you gotta start over. Yeah. So keeping those links in the chain connected as many as you can as possible. And then when there's a break,

David Gold: [1:39:40] repent. Yeah. And I think yeah. And I think even even taking that same idea about the gym, right, when you look at what happens in January to February Yeah. In most of your gyms, right, they're full of people who are like, man, I need change. Like, I I gotta work out, and they don't see instant results. And they get discouraged. Oh, that's good. Man, that's good. And they and they walk away, and they're no longer in the gym. This is an endurance race. It is. Like, it's it's that long obedience in the same direction. That's good. Don't get focused on why why am I not seeing any change right now. You you may not ever see change in your lifetime, but just be consistent. Don't overcomplicate it. Have no idea what what you're doing and what impact it'll do if you'll just be consistent. And that's just like the gym. It is. Like, if you start and you're there for a year, at the end of the year, you're you're gonna see some results. You've logged in some time. Years, you're gonna see significant Yeah. Results if you stay consistent.

Michael Vance: [1:40:42] Are you feeling okay? Yeah. Do you wanna take a break? I'm good. Whatever you wanna do. I feel good. I keep rocking and rolling. Let's do it. My son-in-law over here getting up walking around, stretching his leg, doing some doing some squats. But as long as you feel good, I can keep going. I'm I'm I'm

David Gold: [1:40:58] dialed in. I just wanna make sure you're comfortable. Yeah. And I I would say this, like, some of the dangers of of not being consistent. Right? But there's that's that means diminished authority in the home.

Michael Vance: [1:41:13] Hey. What does that mean? That means regret. That means shame. You're hitting some stuff that's like it's penetrating deep. Yep. So you're hitting some good stuff. So I want you to just talk through them Mhmm. And then practically, what does that stuff look like? Yeah. I I think I think if you if you, like, neglect,

David Gold: [1:41:32] this the spiritual leadership in your home, what you are producing is gonna be the very opposite of what you actually want. Like, I know that there's men who really want their kids to love Jesus. Right? Well, if you're not loving Jesus and you're not leading, it's not it doesn't mean that your kids are without hope. But, man, like, it's it's gonna be difficult. So you're going to actually create a legacy of spiritual shallowness that will be passed down to your kids, that will be part of your legacy, and that's not the legacy that we want. Right? We want to have a legacy that our kids love the Lord Amen. And pursue him or lead their families well. And so those are those are some of the, like, what we're talking about is, like, huge. It's So There's a lot at stake. Just a practical thing.

Michael Vance: [1:42:26] Daddy, if you stay home to watch football and you send your kids to go to church

David Gold: [1:42:31] Yeah.

Michael Vance: [1:42:33] Glad they're in church. Glad they're in church.

David Gold: [1:42:36] But what's what are the odds? Yeah. Like, your kids need to see you in church That's just worshiping practical stuff. Singing like men. Like, if and I know, like, I can't sing. Like, I can. I'm terrible. Sound terrible. I feel far sorry for those around me. But, man, I'm gonna sing. And I always have for my kids. Like, they are going to see their dad worship. They're gonna see their dad lift hands. They're gonna see their dad down at the altar. They're gonna see their dad on their knees. They're gonna see me in the word praying. Like, they need to see those things. That's how we model those things for them. Again, that's why church is so important because our kids need to see that. Okay. I mean, because they they they walk like us. Yeah. They talk like us. Like, if you see my kids walking down the street and you see me and you know how I walk, you're gonna go, that's that's David. Like, I even see that. They walk just like I walk. Let me ask you another question.

Michael Vance: [1:43:37] I've seen moms bring their kids to church and no dad. Yep. Thank God for godly moms. Mhmm.

Michael Vance: [1:43:47] But again, what are the odds of dad's not there? Yeah. I'm just asking you. Well, I I think statistically, this is your wheelhouse. This is what you do. Statistically,

David Gold: [1:43:57] men who take their families to church, they're 80 more likely that their children will follow Jesus, give their life to Jesus, and be baptized and be in the church. 8080% more likely. K. Like, it's a it's a staggering statistic. When men lead, when men take their families to church, that their family comes to faith because they are there. And that's just going to church. Yeah. Not not that it's not not like we don't wanna celebrate single moms or moms who take their kids to church like it's we pray, but there there's more statistically, there's more of those children who respond to the gospel and to faith because dad brings them versus mom bringing them. It's it's a drastic difference.

Michael Vance: [1:44:51] Do the statistics even climb higher when you have family time

David Gold: [1:44:58] around God's word in the home? Not sure about statistically, but I certainly would think, like, if you make that real, not just that we go to church, but but this is something we do at home too. Like, it's only going to impact, right, the the reality and the truth of that. Like, this is not just something we do on Sunday. This is something we do every every day. K.

Background: [1:45:19] Do you have anything else there?

David Gold: [1:45:21] I don't think so. Oh, yeah. Just one habit to change everything. Like, what what's the one habit? I would say change, and I would say your personal time with Jesus. Okay. Like, if you I don't know that it's possible for you to genuinely be in his word and praying significantly, like praying five, six times a week personally,

Michael Vance: [1:45:45] and you not be transformed by that and you not lead your home. Again, it's like going to the gym. You can't go to the gym six days a week and not see something.

David Gold: [1:45:54] It it's not gonna happen. Yeah. I I know for me, like, I I've always hated the gym. Like, even as an athlete, like, I just hated the gym, and I would have gym memberships. And my now, again, I'm gonna put this in perspective. I'm I'm the runt in my family at six one, used to be six two runt. Like, everybody's huge in my family Wow. Except for me. My grandmother was six one. Wow. And so my my oldest brother, you know, both of us played played played college football. In his senior year, his junior year of college, he bench pressed in competition. That's coming down 1,001, 1,002, 560 pounds.

Michael Vance: [1:46:38] That's more than I that's more than I can deadlift. Yeah. I mean, it's

David Gold: [1:46:42] so the genes are there. But what I wanted to do when I went to the gym is I would stand there working on breakdancing moves and not work out. And my brothers would give me a 100. You just came down. All you did is sit there and Dave do your moves and, like and I'd do a little here and a little there. Oh, you went through you went through the motions. Oh, absolutely. I was there with them, but I wasn't I wasn't working out. Right? Yeah. But the way I I was a good enough athlete to get away with what I was doing and what position I played in without actually really I just didn't lie to Jim. But my brothers loved it.

Michael Vance: [1:47:13] Well, you brought a good thing out.

David Gold: [1:47:16] Going through the motions don't get you there. It doesn't. You can go through the motions and go to church and Yep. Go through the motions of doing it what you're supposed to. But if you're not putting a weight on Yep. If you're not pressing into it Yeah. If you're not you're not in the world yourself doing those things. I mean, it's beneficial. If you're there, you're gonna get something, but it's just gonna be a little bit. Right? You're not gonna be you're not gonna be the man that God's called you to be if you're not engaging personally. So, yeah, the one habit, get in the word k. Consistently,

Michael Vance: [1:47:45] in the word, and it'll transform you. Okay. So I'm gonna challenge myself with this one because I don't I'm not a good reader. Okay? I'm a good listener.

David Gold: [1:47:56] Mhmm.

Michael Vance: [1:47:58] But I'm gonna try to stack some weight. I'm gonna try to stack some weight on in my my study. K? I read. I don't really study. Mhmm. I need to stack some weight up. So for someone who wants to stack some weight on the bar in regard to devotional time, whatnot Right. What would you recommend as far as getting into a study and some tools to

David Gold: [1:48:21] to account to have next to your bible to as you're studying. Mhmm. Like like, even just reading the word, like, reading the word's helpful. Like, it's it's gonna stick somewhere. It does. It ministers. Right. And so there's there's that idea of just reading scripture. Yeah. Right? Where you just read and you're and you're and you go back and maybe you highlight things as you read. And so I always encourage that, like, if you see something that sticks out to you or something you don't understand, like, highlight it, finish your reading, come back, and, like, now investigate. Okay. Right? Try to figure out what that's about. Commentaries are huge for that. There is a a website. I'm I'm trying to remember the name of it right now.

Michael Vance: [1:49:06] Yeah. It just went out of my head. If you can't think of it, we'll find it later. Put it in the Precept Precept Austin.

David Gold: [1:49:13] It's a free resource called Precept Austin, just like Austin, Texas. Austin. Precept Austin. Okay. It's a free website. K. Kinda reformed in its thinking in the way that in what they put out there, but it it's an incredible resource. K. Commentaries, sermons, bible studies, like, it's in if you've got a question about a verse, look it up, and it's gonna give you the Greek. It's gonna give you everything. Okay. It's gonna give you the Hebrew. Whatever whatever it is that you're you're trying to figure out, it's gonna give you some helpful resources to understand Okay. The context of that verse. And so that's a great resource. But I would say this, just asking simple simple questions of who, what, when, where, and why of the verse you just read. Okay. Like, who wrote it? Why did they write it? What's he actually saying? Why does it matter? Easy enough. Yeah. Okay. What does it what does it mean for me? Like, what does it mean for the original audience? Why he wrote it, and then what does this mean for me? How does this apply to my life? Simple questions.

Michael Vance: [1:50:17] So right now, we're the first Saturday in May. So the June, the month asked me how I've been doing on my Alright. If I've been stacking some weight on. Sounds good. I'm gonna do it. Sounds good. I'll be accountable to you for months. Amen. The internal war. A lot of battles aren't external, they're internal. Man, this is another good one. Wow. Mhmm. How much of a spiritual warfare is happening inside a man's own mind? Wow. What lies do men tend to believe that weaken them? How does guilt, shame of past sin play into spiritual vulnerability? Yeah.

David Gold: [1:51:01] So I would say this, like and again, scripture is super clear. Like, he he asked the questions James does in chapter four. Where do wars come from? And he's super honest. They come from within. Battles, struggles, fights, they are in our mind, in our heart. That's that's the battleground. Right? So that's that's where that in turn turn that's where all wars, like, that express themselves as coming from Yeah. From in in our hearts, in your mind. And so and then again, Romans twelve two, do not can be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your of your mind. So heart, mind, second Corinthians ten five, take every thought captive, make you obedient to the word of God. So we we can understand like that internal war does what the mind and the heart. Right? Those those things. And so understanding, that reality that that's that's where actual the battle's taking place. Now it might get expressed differently. So and again, what what lies do I tend to believe that weaken that reality?

David Gold: [1:52:18] Like, my wife and my kids are the real problem. Let's just throw that out there. Like, when life gets hard You make it external. Yeah. Life gets difficult. And the real problem is not with your wife or your children, it's with you. How you respond to it, how you deal with it, what responsibly do what responsibility do you have for that situation even being created?

Michael Vance: [1:52:42] Mhmm.

David Gold: [1:52:44] And so, like, in marriage, we call it the hula hoop. Stand inside the hula hoop, and you gotta say the biggest problem in my marriage is whatever's in that hula hoop, and it's just you. You're the biggest problem in your marriage. You're the biggest problem in your family. Not your family. You. Taking a personal, like, personal responsibility. And I think sometimes we we again, with the mind, buy these lies that, well, I have I have to be perfect before I can execute any of this. Like, I have to clean myself up, get myself ready, same way unbelievers think about salvation. Well, I've I I'm not ready to give my life to Jesus. I gotta straighten my life out first. No. No. No. No. No. The scary thing about

Michael Vance: [1:53:35] I'm glad we're talking about this. But the scary thing about the warfare being inside the mind is that there's a voice inside your mind that never stops. Like, you and I have a conversation now and it's gonna be done here in a little while. Yep. It stops. But there's a voice that goes on that never stops. It runs over and over again. And that can either be good if you're capturing those thoughts and filling your mind with God's word and things that are honest, like the fruit of the spirit. But

Michael Vance: [1:54:09] when they're not and they spiral and then it becomes life's not working for me because god, because this wife you gave me. Yeah. It's her fault. Mhmm. It's her fault. Yeah. I married the wrong person. Lie.

David Gold: [1:54:25] Is God sovereign or is he not? Right.

Michael Vance: [1:54:28] So we're to capture those thoughts. How long have you been thinking those thoughts, having those conversations? Mhmm. Sometimes you need to stop. Is this are these thoughts good for me? Are they good for my family? Are they good for my stability? Who I am to be as a man? And if they're not, cast them down, like, them up. Yep. Don't don't keep rehearsing them because divorce happens through conversation ahead. Mhmm. Rebellion against a child's rebellion against their mom or dad is a conversation they've ran thousands and thousands of times over the head before it ever is expressed openly. Right. So how wow. How many hours of self dialogue are there before it's manifested out? Mhmm. And by the time it's manifested out, chances are it could potentially be too late. Yeah. They're already locked in. Devastating. Yep. Already locked in.

David Gold: [1:55:22] Yeah. So, I mean, like, truth, like, isn't super important knowing and, again, like, one of our Wednesday night studies where we talked about what it means to apprehend truth. Right? Here it is. It's right here in front of me. I can read it. I can know this what it says. That doesn't mean it's worked its way into my heart and my life. And so that's the apprehending. You gotta know the truth, and then there's the appropriating where I start believing and rest in that truth. Mhmm. And there's a difference. And I guess a example of that would be, like, even even as a young pastor, like, moments where you doubt your salvation. Like, am I, like, am I really saved? Because how could I how could I do what I just did and be a believer? Right? Fall short sin. And I and I don't remember just wrestling with that. Just wrestling with that. And then finally finally getting to that point where that reality of what took place in my heart and my life was a finished work of Christ, and it's done. Like, he did this in my heart and life. I've died to sin. I've been made alive to Christ. I remember the moment where that was appropriated into my life. And I've never ever ever doubted my salvation ever again because it became that truth was appropriated. It became a part of

Michael Vance: [1:56:46] in in me. Which which I think less than heavenly places was appropriated into my life. Absolutely. Which changes changes change. Right.

David Gold: [1:56:59] So, again, we can apprehend truth, but it doesn't mean that we've appropriated truth. And so that's that's why those things are important, to understand. We don't we don't conform to the pattern of this world, but we're transformed by the renewing of our minds to the washing of the word of God. Like, it's his word that begins to renew our brains, renew our thinking, renew our minds. Would And I can't that won't happen if I'm not in it.

Michael Vance: [1:57:22] Would the term obeying the gospel be that appropriation? Absolutely. People can know the gospel, but if you're not Mhmm. Obeying it, putting it into action, that's just another Mhmm. Example of that. Yep. And there's a lot of people who know all the right stuff.

David Gold: [1:57:39] Know all the right answers, but don't know how to apply it. A lot of people walk around with gym memberships on their key chain. Absolutely. And they were in there in January and, like, feel good because I remember a gym, but never Yeah. Not applying. I can't I can't tell you how many months I paid for Planet Fitness until I finally went over there and say, hey. I need to cancel this. Wow. Because I'm not coming, and I'm I'm giving you money for for nothing. For nothing.

Michael Vance: [1:58:01] But we do the same thing with God sometimes. Yep. What's the next one on there you wanna hit?

David Gold: [1:58:11] How does guilt and shame of past sin play into spiritual spiritual vulnerability? Yeah. I think, like, those doubts deny the gospel and deny the power of the gospel, which is foundational in our lives. There there's a there's a life verse that changed It changed the way I thought about God. It changed the way I related to God. It changed the way I walked in obedience towards him. And it's another one of those apprehending and then appropriating, and it's Romans eight thirty two. True. That he who did not spare his own son, but gave him up for his freely, how will he not then graciously give you everything you need, give you all things? So there's a foundation in that verse that's so strong,

David Gold: [1:59:10] so complete, and there's a promise. And so there's a foundation that's so strong that it's impossible that the promise in the verse wouldn't be fulfilled, can't be broken Mhmm. And understanding that reality. And so what's what's the foundation? Well, the foundation is that God has done the most difficult thing. Wow. Done God's done the hardest thing. He gave what was most precious to him. He gave his one and only son. And not just gave him, slayed him on a cross for me. That's the foundation. Like, if he's done this and Paul's making an argument from greater to lesser. If God's done this great thing, this this huge thing, how will he not do these other things? He cannot do the light work. Right? Done the hard thing. He's done the greatest thing. He's done the most difficult thing, and he slayed his son on a cross for us. And that's that's the foundation. And then it's how will he not be gracious to give you all things. Now that doesn't mean I get everything I ever wanted in life. Right? That means he's given me everything I need for life and godliness. He's given me everything I need to lead my family and to lead my family well. The question is, do I believe the foundation? Do I believe because the unbelieving way, if you're listening to this podcast and your family's a wreck, your unbelieving way is like, God, how how am I going to rescue my family? How am I going to get through this? How are you gonna help me, Lord? I don't even I don't know how that's gonna happen. That is unbelief. If you're a believer, that's unbelief. The believing way looks at that situation and goes, how will he not? How will he not do this because he's done this? Your family and all that's happening is as bad as it might seem and feel is nothing to him. It's cake because he's done the hard thing. How will he not then graciously give me everything I need for life and godliness? How will he not give me everything to lead my family well?

Michael Vance: [2:01:28] It's a shift You have. It's a shift of perspective. Absolutely.

David Gold: [2:01:32] And what and I mean, that that verse changed everything for me when I began to understand. Like, Lord, I look at situations that are difficult and go, Lord, I don't I don't know how you're gonna get me through this. I don't know how how you're gonna work this out. That's unbelief.

Michael Vance: [2:01:49] His hand isn't short.

David Gold: [2:01:51] Yeah. How will you not? How will he not? He did this? How will he not? That's good. Yeah. It's just incredible when you begin to think about God's word and his truth and what he's promised for us. And if we would just walk in that by faith, believe that. And so I think that reality, right, is that guilt and shame pass in, like, that's denying the gospel. Like, I'm forgiven. When I sin, I'm forgiven. He chooses to forget. I'm no longer condemned. He's in Christ. He's no longer condemned. Right? I'm a new creation. That old man has died. Therefore, there's no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

Michael Vance: [2:02:32] So if a dad is feeling a certain way, would it be appropriate for him to just say, I'm forgiven?

David Gold: [2:02:39] Yeah. Repent. I'm forgiven. Repentance is a part of the gospel. Like, we repent of our sin. We turn away from that. We like, if you've been passive, if you've not been leading your family, like, repent. Acknowledge that to your family. Hey, guys. I I've not been leading the way I'm supposed to have been leading you, and you acknowledge that to God. You confess that to him. You confess that to your wife. You confess that to your family. And you go, and I and I want to do better. And you start believing what God's word said, that you're forgiven that stuff of of guilt and shame, which the enemy didn't. The very thing the enemy tempts us with He rolls you in it. Yeah. It's the very thing that he beats us up with. You know, you get the guilt that's like, I just I just Right. Sinned against God. And then you get the shame. Oh, look how terrible you are for doing this. And it's a It's a cycle. Absolutely. Pull you And that's what the enemy does. Like, just remind remind yourself to, I mean, if you're gonna break through through those lies, if you're gonna overcome those things, man, you gotta preach the gospel to your soul every single day. Okay.

Michael Vance: [2:03:48] You gotta do it. Yeah. Every single day, man, preach the gospel to your soul. That's good because you've been running that guilt and shame over for hours and hours and weeks and weeks and years and years possibly. Now you gotta get in the gym Yeah. Of the mind and cast that stuff down, think about things that are biblical, and start exercising truth. Yeah. God's word. That takes work, especially when you're used to certain routines. Gotta change that routine, that mindset. Michael, you good? This is good stuff, ain't it? You can take some notes there, young man. Number seven, real consequences.

Michael Vance: [2:04:37] Real consequences. What happens to a man's family when he ignores his responsibility?

David Gold: [2:04:44] Yeah. Here's and I say this to our people at church all the time. Sin always leads to death and destruction. It never it never ends well. So sin takes you further than you've ever been willing to go. So when you're tempted not to lead, when you're tempted to

Michael Vance: [2:05:12] Why do we always think that we're the one that's gonna make it? Yeah. How come we think that we're the ones who are gonna beat the odds? Yeah. How come you think you're the one that's not gonna get lung cancer or whatever? You know what I mean? Like Mhmm. We do. We think, oh, that's for everybody else. I'm

David Gold: [2:05:26] Yeah. Or we think or we think it's just just a season. Right? We'll we'll know it. Oh, that's another one. You further. That's another one. Yeah. Than you've ever been willing to go. You may have been willing to go this far, but that's that's not what sin does. It takes you further than you've ever been willing to go. And then here's the other reality. It keeps you longer than you were ever willing to stay. Yeah. And the and the last part, which is staggering, is it cost you far more than you were ever willing to pay. That's what sin does.

David Gold: [2:06:03] And the enemy always overpromises and underdelivers. It happened in the garden. Overpromised big time and then can't deliver.

Michael Vance: [2:06:22] And then conversely, we have God's word in our lap. Mhmm. That is a sure foundation. It is truth. It's everything we need. Yeah. And we choose not to believe it. Yeah. Jesus said, I'm the way, the truth, and life.

David Gold: [2:06:38] He's life. Choose him. Jesus always leads to life. Every single time. His word is life. It always leads to life. You will never go wrong being in the word.

Michael Vance: [2:06:59] So why do we struggle? That's that's why we're here. Like, that's Yeah. I think I think we,

David Gold: [2:07:08] I think we believe lies, right, of the enemy. We we tend to seek our satisfaction and things that can never really satisfy that deep longing in our soul, but we seek it in and that's the that's what Jesus said. So God's word said to

David Gold: [2:07:29] to the prophet Jeremiah, right, to the people of Israel. In Jeremiah two, he he asked a simple question. What what nation has ever exchanged their gods for those that aren't gods? And the and it's a it's a rhetorical question. And the answer is like, well, no nation has. No nation has ever abandoned its gods who aren't gods. Right. And then God says to the prophet Jeremiah, but my people Yep. My people have forsaken me and exchanged my glory for glory of their own. That isn't a glory. Like, he says, you you have me, and you've exchanged my glory for that which isn't glory. And then he begins to explain that. My people have committed two sins. And and, no, he says the next thing is, like, that the heavens are uphold. Like, angels are sitting back and looking at the people who've who've been blessed by God, delivered by God from from pharaoh, from Egypt, from sin, like, all of those things. They have they have the promised land. They have all they have God. They have him. And it says, the angels are appalled that they would exchange the glory that they have for that fading glory. This is my people have committed two sins. They've forsaken me the fountain of living water. They've hewn out cisterns for themselves that cannot hold water. Two things. They're drinking from the wrong fountain. They're drinking from something that they think will satisfy him. Success men, will never satisfy you. Financial prosperity will never satisfy you. Your wife will never satisfy you. Your kids will never satisfy you. The things of this world, the toys of this world will never ever satisfy you. The only one who can satisfy the deepest longing in your soul is God. Amen. But they've forsaken that. They're drinking from the wrong fountain, and they're building a life around something that can't hold water. It's broken. It's like they're trying they're trying to hold their life in their hands, and it's pouring through their hands like that. It won't hold it, whatever it is they're literally living for. And, again, the response in Jeremiah four is like, plow up that fallow ground. The hard heart, let God plow it up. Let his word plow it up. Peel that up. Soften up that soil so that it can be used for fertile, like repent.

Michael Vance: [2:10:20] You just hold your hands like this, and then and I had a mental picture of to hold water. Yeah.

Michael Vance: [2:10:30] But when we when we come to a point in our life where we're exhausted from trying to hold water Mhmm. And we just say, god, you do it. Yeah. That's a good place to be. Mhmm. And he uses this Yeah. Because this is fatiguing trying to hold can you imagine trying to hold water? Yeah. Doesn't work. This is fatiguing.

David Gold: [2:10:56] And for some, he grants repentance through that. Yep. And then he says, okay. And just knowing that God God is the only one who can satisfy the deepest longing in your heart. Yeah. If you're expecting that from your wife and from family, from children, from your business, from success, from work, then you're gonna be empty. You're gonna be you're still gonna wake up thirsty every day, and trying to fill something that can't hold water. It's just gonna pour right out of you. Yeah. So never satisfy you. We bring those

Michael Vance: [2:11:23] broken cisterns to him, and he Yep.

David Gold: [2:11:26] So when we ignore that responsibility, right, the home becomes hopeless. It becomes heavy. It becomes hardened and heartless. That's the danger.

David Gold: [2:11:42] No longer it ceases to be a home.

David Gold: [2:11:49] Staggering, devastating place to be.

Michael Vance: [2:11:55] That's sobering.

Background: [2:11:56] Yep. What did you say the last one was?

David Gold: [2:12:01] When we ignore when a man ignores this responsibility, like, to lead his family, the home becomes hopeless, heavy, hardened, and heartless. It's absent of the father's blessing.

Michael Vance: [2:12:19] And a home is supposed to be a place of security. Yeah. It's supposed to be a place of rest Love. Respite. Approval, acceptance, all those things present. I've always said the whole world can be against me as long as I get to come home with people that love me. It should be a place of

David Gold: [2:12:34] Absolutely. For all of us. Yeah. But that's not possible if we're not leading. Right. And then you then you have, you have a the possibility of children embracing the world because of that, because there's no leadership at home, embracing cultural values that we don't want them to embrace. You have a wife who feels lonely, overburdened, who's whatever it is that you're lacking, she's trying to pick up. It's not her gifting, not her calling because we've we've abandoned it.

Michael Vance: [2:13:14] Yeah. Where she's supposed to be

David Gold: [2:13:17] cared for Yeah. Secured, loved, honored. I mean, she's a co labor with us. Like like Great benefits, great, partner in that, but she's she wasn't made to carry that authority in that way. And when we don't carry it, she typically does.

Michael Vance: [2:13:35] Man, you bring up a good a good point because the responsibilities that we're supposed to carry, if we're not carrying them, they don't just disintegrate and go into oblivion. Yeah. Somebody's gonna pick it up. Absolutely. It's gonna fall on your your loved ones that you're supposed to be Mhmm. That for them. Yep. So you just you just put burdens on the ones you supposedly love Yep. That aren't theirs, but you're still feeding them and giving them a house. Yeah. I mean, you see you see that in highly dysfunctional homes. Right? Where a dad,

David Gold: [2:14:07] whether that's by alcoholism or whatever or whatever happens, you have a a kid who's supposed to be a kid, but yet he's he's trying to be dad in the home.

Michael Vance: [2:14:17] It gets upside down. Yeah. Absolutely. Where are we at on here?

David Gold: [2:14:25] We're about seven rules. Yeah. What's the yeah. What's the flip side of what changes when a man steps into his role? Right? Instead of a place being hope hopeless and heavy and hardened and heartless. I mean, it's a place of hope, right, and peace where children embrace the gospel, where where wives joyfully submit, feel secure, and joyfully submit to the leadership of their husband. That's that's the the opposite of that. Because they can trust him. Yeah. Because I love you, baby. I love you, kids. Well, there's there's there's two things within that in the marriage, right, in the context of marriage of a woman wants love, man wants respect. And that's that's how Paul finishes it. Husbands, love your wives. Women, submit and respect your husbands. Yeah. And when those things get out of whack, right, the home just falls apart. If a woman doesn't feel love, really difficult for her to show respect. If you don't feel respected, really difficult to show love. Now here's the truth as a man. God God didn't tell you to love your wife because she was deserving of it, because she was worthy of it. Actually, he's called you to love her in spite of who she is because that's what love does. Christ loved the church and gave himself for it. And what was my condition when he gave himself for the church? I was dead in my sins. I was ungodly. I was an enemy of Christ, an enemy of God. I was not good when Christ died for me. And so he says, you you love your wife that way, Not because she deserves it, not because she's, should be honored in that way. You love her because I said love her. It's a choice. It's not a feeling. It's not a response to what she does or doesn't do. It's it's a choice to love God and to love my wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it. Husbands, like, that's that's your goal. And if you wanna understand what that looks like, then go to first Corinthians 13, and let let God's word define what love is. Like, let that be the basis, not just, like, how I might think about that. No, let's let god's word define what love is, what that looks like relationally. And and wives, right, you don't respect your husband because, well, he deserves it or because he, you know, he does all these things right. And what no. You respect him because God's word said respect him.

Michael Vance: [2:17:27] Yeah. This is, this is a whole podcast in itself right here. Yes. Yeah. Marriage and issues that we find. But, again, all that starts with leadership in the home. I just don't love her anymore. I fell out of love with her anymore. Or, you know, I I fell out of love with her. Like, all those things that cultural our culture says is normal. Again Yeah. Going back to God's word. For sure. Like, first Corinthians

David Gold: [2:17:52] 13 gets super, super clear. In verse four, love is patient and kind. That's it. Like and then you ask you have to ask yourself as a man, as a husband leading at home, are you patient and kind? I didn't ask you, is your wife deserving of your patience and your kindness? I'm asking you, this is what love says. Are you in spite of whether she's deserving of those things, are you patient and kind? Love does not envy or boast. It's not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way. It is not irritable or resentful. It does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Amen. That's God's definition of love and how and what that love looks like as a man leading in the home. Like, loving that way. And and again, like, I think as you love your spouse that way, I think it's it's it's gonna be a joyful response to show respect and to submit. And if a and if a wife will just joyfully submit, not because her husband's deserving, because God said to do it, It's it's gonna be easier for him to to love. When those things are working together, man, it's beautiful. This is a good transition. We're gonna skip number eight. We're gonna go to number nine. K.

Michael Vance: [2:19:27] Because for a man listening right now, he loves his family. We just talked about love. That's why I wanna He jump to loves his family, but he knows he's been passively, spiritually. What's the first steps he needs to take today? Yeah. What would you say to that man who feels overwhelmed by all because this is all this is listen, man. The easy part is feeding him. Yeah. Like, that's all like, what you just hit me with, I got a knot in my stomach right now. Like, this is a lot of responsibility, but

David Gold: [2:19:59] I'm on I'm gonna take it back to the gym. Yeah. Responsibility is not just providing. It's providing not just physical for their needs for Right. Their food, their shelter, their clothing. It's it's all those other things as well. But I don't have to get the whole workout in tomorrow.

Michael Vance: [2:20:15] No. I can do five minutes. Long, obedience, man. The way I'm paying attention to this is I'm Super just gonna simple. I'm just gonna just do one little thing, and then I'm gonna add on to it. So that's how I'm gonna break this down personally.

David Gold: [2:20:27] So, yeah, if you find yourself today, like, not not knowing that you've been passive, like, one, repent. Be honest with God about where you've been K. What you've not been doing. And then, like, step in that by faith, believing he's given you everything that you need for life and godliness. He's given you everything you need to lead your family and just start leading. Have a conversation? Yeah. Have a conversation with with your family. Hey, kids. Hey, wife. Seek forgiveness. I've been failing you. Yep. And, again, just take small, consistent actions. And so, like, it's called five I would call it five on five. Pray for five minutes, read for five minutes, sing five minutes, talk for five minutes, pray for five minutes. K. Like, that's twenty twenty minutes, twenty five minutes.

Michael Vance: [2:21:30] It's a light workout. Yeah.

David Gold: [2:21:32] It's easy. Everybody got twenty minutes. And that can be around the dinner table. And, again, like, that those moments are important. Right? But it's it's when you get into deuteronomy six, where this this is a life this is a lifestyle, where he says, you you're to teach your kids these things, not just around the dinner table, not just in a Bible study, but all day long. K. Like, that's the point. Like, as you walk down the street, as you're heading home, as you're doing life, you're this is what you're doing. Like, you're constantly in the gospel with your kids. So it's not always this, and it's just, well, I had I've had I've had my little bible study time with them. I've been faithful. No. We're we do this all day long in in their lives when we see them frustrated. It's a great time to come next to them and go, hey. What what's what's got you so frustrated? What's that look like? What's the gospel say about this? Where does God wanna meet you in this moment? Good. And then you pray with him. Good. That's how they see the gospel. Right? It's it's like, our greatest temptation, the enemy's greatest attack on us is going to be in the mundane moments of life. Take note. You're you're right. Yeah. It's those it's those moments when you're when you're angry with your kids and, like, how do I respond? Do do I respond with the gospel? Or if they're if they're sinning, how do how do I address that? What does that look like? Am I am I coming with a gospel presence in that regard? Every time we discipline our children, they ought to see and hear the gospel k. Over and over again. Like, what you did was wrong. Jesus died for that. I love you enough to tell you that it's wrong. His word tells you that it's wrong. But here's the here's the gracious thing. It's been forgiven. It's been washed away. Let's thank him for it, and let's let's live for him like gospel every single time we discipline. But it's those mundane moments where life happens. Like, most I think sometimes we worry about or think about this, like, there's gonna be this super and sometimes there is, like, major difficult seasons in life where the enemy attacks. And most of us think about, man, I just wanna be this spiritual giant. Well, spiritual giants are made in the mundane moments. Thank you. Like, my dad perfected Thank you. Being present This is helpful. In mundane moments.

David Gold: [2:24:19] Thank you. Right? He because I think sometimes we think, well, man, I just wanna have this spiritual impact. I'm gonna be this missionary. I'm gonna be this. I'm gonna be that. And God does that for some people. Most of us are never going to be a, a famous person. I I you know, I'm not gonna be John MacArthur. I'm not gonna be John Piper. Like, I I'm not, and that's okay. But, man, what I can be, I can be that in my kid's life, in the life of my wife.

Michael Vance: [2:24:48] Again, myself, as an example, I'm just looking at my track record. I don't know why I had this mindset. Maybe it just didn't I don't know where I where I picked this up or why I thought this. But I wanted to create these big moments, these big moments of Yep. To spend time. And I have would have these imaginations of how this big moment's gonna be. Yeah. And it's not coming the way I want. And what happens? I'm frustrated because the the mundane moments are interfering with this big moment I'm trying to create. And now you know what? Just forget it. I'm mad. Like, I and I I just blew it. I just lost all those moments. Yeah. I'm just I'm just looking back at at my myself. And again, the mundane moments, just go in the gym, start picking something up, just the mundane. And before you know it, it's a lifestyle. This is what we do. Those mundane moments with your kids, it's just what we do. Yes. I just I just talk to my kids. It's gospel. Natural. It's gospel every day, every situation, every mundane moment, every conflict,

David Gold: [2:25:56] every interruption. Conflict or opportunities for Yeah. Change. Absolutely. You're you're helping my mind, man. Yeah. And just knowing that's true for our kids as well as we see them in conflict, as we see them in a difficult situation like the gods at work like gods at work at my and not to get frustrated by it. Okay. Not to be angered because now this is getting in my way. Like, I wanted to do this, and now I have to go deal with this. No. Like, what a great opportunity you get to be the gospel, in in your in your family's life, in the life of your children, in the life of your wife. And it's those little mundane things that that build and build and build until you get this incredible foundation.

Michael Vance: [2:26:40] I had no idea this is where we're gonna end up, but this is like, I can do this.

David Gold: [2:26:44] Is easy. I can do this. Amen. It's not the big moments. Like, it's not like, hey. I made this big decision, and now we're we're here. It's it's kinda like when kids go to camp. There you go. They get fired up. They come back. They're on fire. Right? And, like, yeah, you've you've been in the place for for six days, and you've done nothing but Jesus all day long. Mhmm. Sing about him in a word, fellowshipping, like, all those things, and you come back super excited. But over time, that wears out, and you get discouraged because where did that fire go? Well, that that is what that is. Like, it's okay to be encouraged by that. It's why revivals don't work. And in regard to The mundane moments is where God changes us and transforms us.

Michael Vance: [2:27:31] And in regard to spiritual warfare, if the mundane moments is where change happens, that would be where the evil one doesn't want us to have those mundane moments. Absolutely. Have all the big moments you want. Go to camp all you want. I don't care about that. Yeah. Just just don't because anyone's gonna change mundane. Ain't gonna change it. It's it's it's good. Thank you. Yep. For sure. The last one, we have a closing thought. You can close it down with this or any other way you feel. But, what does it mean if a man to be Still Strong spiritually? What kind of legacy does a spiritually strong man leave behind?

David Gold: [2:28:02] You can answer those or you can Yeah. You can shut it out however you want. Said this earlier, like, if I'm if I'm in Jesus, I'm Still Strong no matter what the enemy says. That's it, man. So that's that's just believing that in Jesus, you have everything you need for life and godliness. You have everything you need to love your family and to lead your family well for the glory of God and for the kingdom of God. Thank you. What an encouragement to know those truths and those realities. And so legacy, I can only speak to, the legacy that my dad left. And so, and so the legacy that I wanted to leave my kids is that they will love Jesus, because of the way I love Jesus. And so my my dad taught me how to love Jesus by the way he loved him.

Background: [2:29:00] K.

David Gold: [2:29:02] I grew up seeing my dad on his knees. I grew up seeing my dad praying.

David Gold: [2:29:15] Seeing him open the word,

David Gold: [2:29:19] taking us to church, watching him worship, like, taught me to love Jesus. By the way, he loved Jesus. He taught me how to love my wife and serve my wife by the way he loved and served my mom. Like, he adored her. I mean, he first Corinthians 13 loved her. That's what I got to see. He taught me how to love my own children. By the way, he loved me in a way he loved my brother's eye. And so I like, I want my children to how to love their own kids, my grandkids because of the way I love them. And that that's that father's blessing. Right? That that kind of love, acceptance, approval, presence. Like, I I want them to know, what it looks like to love because of the way they I love them. And then my dad taught me how to love the least of these, and my neighbor, by the way, he loved people around him. Like, countless times that we would stop and we'd go to the store and we would take food to homeless people. Or he would see someone that needed clothing, and he would go home and get and go back and take them clothing and Wow. Like, he just loved them. There were people who live with us that weren't weren't family Wow. That needed a home. I I have a African American brother that's like his he's family. Like, he moved into this. He was part of our boxing team when he was, eight years old. And his brother, he lived in a really rough part of town. His brother literally tried to kill him one day and took shots at him. Wow. And the grandmother said, like, I I gotta get him out of here. And dad was like, he can come live with us. And he lived with us until he graduated high school and got on his own and Wow. Went to work. There were friends of mine whose family were going through divorce that stayed at our home for months at a time. That was just a constant picture in our home of what it looks like to love people and to love your neighbor, the way he served the people in our neighborhood where we lived, the how hard he worked. Like, all those things, like, my that's the model, the legacy that my dad left for me, and it's the legacy I'm trying to leave for my kids that they know what a father's blessing is. And that I've delivered it well. And they'll know how to deliver it to their kids.

Michael Vance: [2:32:06] Is it ever too late to start? Never. K. Never. Even at 50 years old? Yeah. What a beautiful gospel picture. K. It's never too late to start. Yeah. That God can change anything

David Gold: [2:32:18] and everything in every family. Good.

Michael Vance: [2:32:24] It's been good for me, man. Amen. Me too. I always like listening to you. I always walk away feeling encouraged and edified and, listen to you talk about your dad. I wish I knew him, but I feel like I do a little bit. Yeah.

David Gold: [2:32:38] And the Lord gave me some gave me you know, it's just the Lord's super gracious, man. And my dad my dad wasn't perfect. He had his faults. Right? I don't want to paint this picture of, that's just and, you know, you can't reach that note. Dad had his weaknesses.

David Gold: [2:32:59] But, man, he was just really good at the really good things that he needed to be good at in the mundane moments. And the way that he just walked through life with me, encouraged me in those mundane moments was super, super thankful for it. And so at the end of his life, he he fell walking up steps and twisted his knee, busted his knee up, had to go to hospital, and then contracted sepsis. And

David Gold: [2:33:35] and that just spiraled. Like, oh, he was in ICU for three months. Can finally came to a place where, like, he's he's not going to recover. Brought him home. I was able to to be present for the last three weeks of his life, like, every day, just being at home, trying to be there, be present. And every evening, like, I had had,

David Gold: [2:34:05] like, rest. Like, it's okay to go to sleep. He'll be here. And then the last night, it was just really clear. God says this this is it.

Michael Vance: [2:34:15] Give me your premonition.

David Gold: [2:34:17] This is your this is you need to stay up with your dad. And so he'd been in and out of coherency. And so as I sat with him that night, he was super alert. And we just began to talk and say, dad, what are what are some of your favorite scripture verses? And he would say what verse it was, and we'd look it up, and we'd read it. And I'm like, what's another one, dad? And we would read it. And we just it went on for an hour. Wow. And I was like, dad, you're getting tired? No. No. Let's keep going. And I'm like, well, let's let's let's sing some of your favorite songs. What are some of your favorite hymns? And he'd say this one, and we'd find it on my phone, and we'd play it, and we'd sing together. And then I remember just getting like, I could tell he was getting tired. And I was like, hey. Are you tired? He said, yeah. I'm tired. And I prayed with him, and I just held his face. And I said, dad, it's okay to go be with Jesus. It's okay. Like, I'm I'm gonna take care of mom. We're gonna be okay. Like, you need to go be with Jesus. And

David Gold: [2:35:34] and both of us just tears streaming down our face. I just held his face and just loved on him, and he loved on me. And and I just sat next to him and held his hand, and then he breathed his last name.

David Gold: [2:35:53] I don't know if ever in my life felt such tangible presence of the spirit of God than in that moment. I mean, there was such peace and joy. Like, even though, like, man, my best friend just just died. But, man, I knew where he was.

David Gold: [2:36:19] And it's he he went to be with the man he lived for for his whole life. So, again, even even in his death, I

David Gold: [2:36:31] just legacy.

Michael Vance: [2:36:35] Oh, death, where is your victory? Oh, grave, where is this thing? Absolutely. That takes on a whole another meaning. Yep. Thank you for sharing that with us. Yeah, man. Do you mind if I pray? Please. Please. The tissue next to you if you need it. God, we thank you for this time. Thank you for David and his testimony. Thank you for the conversation exposing what the spiritual realm is. I thank you for the conviction that was brought here today in my own heart, what it means to be a a father, grandfather, a husband. God, I pray that as this message goes out next Wednesday, that to a man that's listening to this and as he's measuring himself up and if he finds himself lacking or that he would repent, pull his family to the sides, hey. I've been dropping the ball here. There's gonna be a change and give that man the ability to carry what he's supposed to carry. God, thank you that you are a perfect father. Our fathers are broken. Our fathers are, you know, I'm I distort the view of to my children for you are, but I pray to God that you would make me a mirror of you, a representation of you. Mhmm. And I thank you that you are good. I thank you that you package yourself up as a father. Man, the most the most the most relatable thing to a kid is a dad, a father. How does this being, this infinite being that we cannot comprehend package himself up as a father? We thank you for where we fall short, you don't. I pray you use this podcast to change lives. Thank you for the edification that happened here. I thank you for David and his the testament of his father and what he shared. Thank you that he's with you. We thank you that through Christ, was death, burial, and resurrection. Man can be with you. You are the the gap between the holy God and fallen man, Christ Jesus. Pray that repentance would be made through this podcast, restoration would be made, and then we would go on to do the work that we're called to do. We thank you in Christ's name. Amen. Amen.

David Gold: [2:38:54] Thank you.

Intro voiceover: [2:39:02] I found joy in the simple days. And on his working faith, Still Strong. No rush.