Automatic episode summary
Angie Becker owns Turtle Shirts, a screen-printing and garment-manufacturing shop in the Fort Myers area, and behind the shop she keeps a gym. Keith Vance found her the way most of her customers do — he needed shirts — and walked out convinced there was a story he wanted on the podcast. Becker is 48, a competing powerlifter with a 601-pound squat, a 564-pound deadlift and a 315-pound bench, and she is training toward Nationals in Utah in May after qualifying at States in December. She tells Vance she is still working back from kidney issues and has not yet been pushed hard enough to know where her strength sits.
She told him before recording that she would talk about anything except her childhood. She talks about it anyway. Her father built and installed museum exhibits and traveled for work; her mother worked at a community college and, over the years, became what Becker calls a functioning alcoholic. She describes the home as abusive and says her mother died about eight years ago of cirrhosis. What she draws from it is less about blame than about what addiction does to the people standing next to it: years of codependency, a fear of being alone, an instinct to attach herself to people and make things work that were not working. She now keeps a standing offer open to her teenage son — bring me anything, even if it gets you in trouble, rather than carry it by yourself. She and Vance circle the same question about the 1980s and 90s, when nothing behind a family's walls was anyone's business, and neither is willing to trade that privacy for the modern habit of publishing everything. Vance answers with his own family's version of it: a drive with his father past the house where he grew up, and the neighbors fifteen feet away who never came to the door.
The middle of the conversation is about voices. Becker ran adult softball leagues for years for an ex who humiliated her publicly; one of her own pitchers finally told her that was why nobody wanted to play for them anymore. When the ex told her she was fat and nasty and needed to go to the gym, she agreed — on her own terms: a trainer twice a week and a car of her own. A trainer named Megan taught her form with PVC pipe, then pointed at a loaded bar. Becker picked up 225 pounds without effort and was told she should compete. For roughly a year, people filmed her at boot camp and posted it to mock her; her first unassisted sit-up, she says, felt like winning the lottery. The relationship ended when the same man told her she was starting to look like a dude. Vance, a father of five daughters, stays in that section rather than rushing it, and admits to a careless remark he once made about a stranger's body that one of his daughters carried for years.
The back half is craft. Becker walks through meet day — flights, judges' commands, the difference between control and momentum — and through her first meet, where nerves cost her all three squat attempts at 300 pounds and she paid a fee to finish on bench and deadlift alone. She describes a three-month meet prep across three training days a week, the last-set AMRAP as the honest test of whether strength is moving, mobility as the thing that keeps a lifter lifting, and why she wears a belt to squat but never to deadlift. When her coach comes with her, she does not know what is on the bar; she trusts that he would not load what she could not lift.
She closes with the Muhammad Ali line printed on the back of her singlet — to be a great champion you must believe you are the best, and if you are not, pretend you are — and with an open offer to coach anyone, free, who wants to start lifting and does not know how.
Speakers
- Intro voiceover other
- Keith Vance host
- Angie Becker guest
- Crosstalk other
- Crosstalk other
- Crosstalk other
Chapters
- 0:26 Intimidated in the shirt shop
Keith Vance explains how he met Angie Becker — he ordered shirts, then saw the gym behind her shop. They compare numbers, her 564-pound deadlift against his new 420-pound PR at 50, and she waves off the comparison entirely.
- 7:21 Nationals, flights, and patience
Becker lays out the May meet in Utah she qualified for at States in December, and how a meet day actually runs — flights A, B and C rotating through squat, bench and deadlift. Vance admits the waiting alone gives him anxiety.
- 16:38 Childhood behind closed doors
Becker, who had asked not to discuss her childhood, opens it anyway: dance and piano as a little girl, a father traveling to build museum exhibits, and a mother who became a functioning alcoholic. She says the home was abusive and that her mother died about eight years ago of cirrhosis.
- 20:19 What addiction leaves behind
She describes the codependency and fear of being alone she carried out of that house, and why people reach for substances instead of words. It becomes the reason she tells her son to bring her anything, even what he thinks will get him in trouble.
- 26:26 The only person you can change
Becker talks about the strain of a stepdaughter she says worked to break up her marriage, and Vance about a driver who cursed him on I-75; both land on the advice she was once given, that only one person can change the situation or how you feel about it. It carries into the conversations people have in her shop, including the woman who left a job she hated after Becker asked her why she stayed.
- 38:46 Softball, an insult, a barbell
Before lifting, Becker ran adult softball leagues and tournaments for her ex, until a pitcher told her people had stopped playing because of how he treated her. When he told her to go to the gym, she went — with a trainer, a car of her own, and eventually a 225-pound deadlift that changed the direction of her life.
- 43:29 Mocked online, still showing up
For about a year people filmed her boot camp workouts and posted them to make fun of her, and she kept going because quitting would have been giving in. Her first unassisted sit-up, she says, felt like winning the lottery.
- 49:43 Inner beauty and false advertisement
Vance paraphrases the scripture about outward adorning and tells Becker what he heard in her voice before he ever met her. She answers with a description of narcissists as false advertisement, and traces her old relationship back through two heart attacks to eight years she says were too long.
- 55:36 First meet, and finding a community
Her first coach entered her in a meet weeks after she started; she threw up beforehand, missed all three squats at 300 pounds, and paid a fee to finish on bench and deadlift. She explains the judges' commands, why powerlifting is ninety percent form and ten percent air, and how the community that cheered her is what brought her back.
- 1:11:30 Meet prep, mobility, and AMRAPs
Three months of meet prep, three training days a week plus accessories, and stretching as the thing that keeps you lifting into old age. She explains the last-set AMRAP as the only honest way to know whether your strength is actually moving.
- 1:29:33 601, 564, and lifting beltless
Becker's best lifts, why she deadlifts without a belt and squats with one, why she will never switch to sumo, and what she calls powerlifting cardio. Her remaining goal is a 715-pound squat.
- 1:42:24 The gym as the outlet
Vance asks whether the old emotional weight goes into the bar, and Becker says the gym is her everything; he tells the story of his wife breaking down mid-deadlift over grief she had never gotten to finish. Becker offers to coach anyone who wants to start, free, and closes with the Muhammad Ali line printed on the back of her singlet.
Key takeaways
- 22:10 Becker tells her son to bring her anything that leaves him with feelings he does not know how to handle — even if it makes her angry, even if it means a hard conversation — because carrying it alone is worse. She says she had no one she could go to as a child.
- 36:40 Sales, Becker says, is about relationships: anyone can buy a shirt anywhere, so people have to want to buy from you because of you, not because of what you sell. Keith Vance says the same thing about construction — he does business with people, not entities.
- 1:03:26 Becker approaches the bar identically no matter the load — same walk-up, same setup, same feet — because whatever is not second nature will fall apart on the platform. "We should look like a robot. Anybody that does any lifting sports should look like a robot every time they do it."
- 1:05:32 Her advice for women without direction: find something you love that requires other people — a book club, knitting, quilting, cards, a church group — and go do it, weekly or monthly. Being alone with a hobby is not the point; camaraderie and learning something from someone else is.
Pull quotes
"I do what I do for me and you do what you do for you. And we are not in competition." — Angie Becker, after Keith Vance apologizes for his 420-pound deadlift PR next to her 564.
"There is only one person that can change the current situation. And there's only one person that can change how you feel about something. And that's yourself." — Angie Becker, repeating advice she was once given.
"The first day that I did a sit-up, it was like I'd won the lottery." — Angie Becker, on the year she spent being filmed and mocked at boot camp.
Keith Vance admits to a comment he made about an overweight stranger at a buffet years ago, in front of his children. One of his daughters said nothing at the time; years later she told him she had struggled because of it — if that is what dad thinks about them, what does he think about me.
"They can act nice to get you to come. To draw you in... I call them a false advertisement." — Angie Becker, describing narcissists.
"Powerlifting is 90% form and 10% air." — Angie Becker, on bracing, breath, and why proper form should make a lift successful every time.
Best lifts as stated on air: a 601-pound squat done three times, a 564-pound deadlift, and a 315-pound bench hit at 47 after years of chasing it. Her one remaining goal is a 715-pound squat, which she says is the current world record.
"To be a great champion you must believe you are the best. And if you're not, pretend you are." — the Muhammad Ali line Angie Becker has printed on the back of her singlets, which she gives as her closing thought.
Scripture & context
- 17:38 Becker's father was a museum exhibit fabricator who traveled to install exhibit cabinetry, mostly on the East Coast; her mother worked for a community college and became what Becker calls a functioning alcoholic. She describes the home as abusive and says her mother died about eight years ago of cirrhosis of the liver.
- 41:10 Becker says her ex told her she was fat and nasty and needed to go to the gym. She agreed — but set her own terms: a personal trainer twice a week and her own car, both of which she went out and got.
- 49:56 Keith Vance paraphrases the verse about not worrying over outward adorning — what makes a woman beautiful is a sweet inner spirit — and tells Becker he heard that inner beauty in her voice before he ever met her in person. He does not name the reference on air; it corresponds to 1 Peter 3:3-4.
Questions answered
- What are Angie Becker's best lifts?
- Her biggest squat is 601 pounds, which she says she has done three times, and her biggest deadlift is 564 pounds. She hit a 315-pound bench at 47, a goal she says took her years, and she notes that only around 140 women in the world had benched that. Her remaining goal is a 715-pound squat. jump · 1:29:33
- How did she get into powerlifting?
- Her ex told her she was fat and nasty and needed to go to the gym, and she agreed on the condition that she get a personal trainer twice a week and her own car. Her trainer, Megan, ran an intro weightlifting class using PVC pipe to teach form, then asked her to try picking up a loaded deadlift bar. She lifted 225 pounds easily, was told she should compete, and got a coach. She puts the start at 2017, around age 38. jump · 38:46
- What is she training for next?
- She qualified at States in December, which sends her to Nationals in Utah; she believes the masters meet is May 11th. She says that if she wins there she will go to Worlds in October, and that the last time she went to Worlds she came in second overall. She is entering masters this year because she has not fully recovered from kidney issues. jump · 7:21
- How did she handle people mocking her at the gym?
- People filmed her boot camp workouts and posted them on social media to make fun of her, and she says she endured about a year of being called fat and gross. She kept going because stopping would have meant giving in to them. Her goals then were small and concrete: not to be last around the quarter-mile, and to do one full sit-up and one full push-up without modifications. jump · 43:29
- What does she say about narcissists and hurtful partners?
- She describes narcissists as people fueled by being mean and hateful, using words to inflict pain, and calls them a false advertisement — they can act nice long enough to draw you in. Once you are in, she says, they make you feel you cannot live without them and are nothing without them. She adds that you will never change them. jump · 51:04
- Why does she deadlift without a belt?
- She competes beltless on the deadlift because a belt interferes with holding her air, and because bending over a conventional pull already braces your stomach against your thighs. She also points out that belt compression affects the bladder and abdomen, which is why some women have accidents on the platform. She does wear a belt to squat, where the load sits on her shoulders and she needs to brace upright. jump · 1:32:06
- What does a powerlifting training cycle look like?
- Meet prep runs three months before a meet, building toward the one-rep max she will attempt on the platform, and the off-season she calls playtime. She trains three days a week — one squat day, one bench day, one deadlift day — with accessory work after the main lift on the same days, and rests otherwise except for stretching. She has been with her current coach about four years and simply does whatever programming he sends. jump · 1:11:30
- How does she prepare mentally for a heavy attempt?
- She keeps her approach identical no matter what is loaded — same walk-up, same setup, same foot placement — so that nothing has to be remembered on the platform. She says lifters should look like a robot, and that video of a meet from a year ago should look the same as today. When her coach comes with her, she does not even know how much weight is on the bar, because she trusts he would not give her something she could not lift. jump · 1:02:23
- What does she tell women who feel isolated?
- Find something you love that involves other people — a book club, knitting, quilting, cards, a church group — and go do it even if it is only once a month. She distinguishes that from being alone with a hobby or going shopping by yourself, because part of the point is camaraderie and learning something from someone. Even with a house full of kids, she says, you have to find time to invest in yourself. jump · 1:05:32
- Will she help someone who wants to start lifting?
- Yes. She says anyone who has thought about lifting, powerlifting or just strength training but does not know where to start can contact her, and she will come show them how to use the equipment and how to do the movements. She already opens her own gym to kids and others and coaches without charging. Keith Vance says the shop's phone number and her email will be posted with the episode. jump · 1:47:36
Helpful links
other
- Turtle Shirts Angie Becker's screen-printing and garment-manufacturing company, in business since 2011; no web address is given on air, but Keith Vance says the shop's phone number will be posted with the episode.
product
- Frequence — Sync (collagen and CBN) The mid-roll sponsor Keith Vance reads at about the 1:10 mark; brand and product spellings are as heard and unverified.
verse
- 1 Peter 3:3-4 The passage on inner rather than outward beauty that Keith Vance paraphrases without naming.
Full transcript
Intro voiceover: I learned the hard way, nothing's overnight, some days you lose, some days you survive. Still Strong, even moving slow, every step counts more than you know. I found gold in the everyday, showing up and staying brave.
Keith Vance: Still Strong, yeah. Welcome to the podcast. Thank you. Angie, I'm going to give you a proper introduction here. But before I do, it's been my protocol to give someone my own personal take on them. You and I don't know each other very well. I think I've only seen you face to face a couple of times. But you and I met because my son had some shirts made. I liked them. I said, hey, make me some for my company. I called you on the phone, said, I'm going to come pick up some shirts. I heard your sweet little voice that reminded me how to give me this mental picture of this little sweet, you know, grandma type. I walked into your shop. And, man, I've never felt intimidated by a woman before. But I felt intimidated in your shop. And I was like, I couldn't hide my emotions. I'm like, girl, show me what you're doing. And we got the shirts. But behind your shop where you make all your shirt stuff, you got your gym. And you're showing me. And it just fascinated me. And so much so that I need to know. I need to know. I knew there was a story behind Angie. And I wanted to know what it was. So when we decided to do this Still Strong podcast, I looked you up. I said, Angie, here's what I'm doing. Would you be on? And you're giving me the privilege to have you on here.
Angie Becker: Yes, thank you.
Keith Vance: Do you remember when I came into the shop?
Angie Becker: Yes, yes, I do. I took you back and I showed you everything that we did.
Keith Vance: And I asked you, hey, what's your deadlift? And you told me. And I didn't want to tell you what mine was.
Angie Becker: Well, my biggest one is 564. Crazy. But for reps, moderate weight, I could do 315 for 6-ish. A few times.
Keith Vance: I, my personal PR deadlift was like two weeks ago. Which makes me feel good because at 50, you can still be getting stronger. Mm-hmm. But it was 420. 420. Well, it's not impressive to you when you're doing five something.
Angie Becker: But I do what I do for me and you do what you do for you. And we are not in competition. That's it. And I'm very happy for you that you did 420. If it was the first time, it's the best time. Yeah.
Keith Vance: That's good stuff. And that's why I got you on here. I, you have an insight that I think I want to dial in on your insight and share your story. So. All right. Angie. Born in Maryland. Yes. Oh, you've been married for six years. You have two children. A boy and a girl. Yeah. How are they doing?
Angie Becker: My son is 16 and he just bowled his first perfect game in league play. So he'll get a bowling ring that has a 300 on it. Wow. And he's the second kid in the leagues to do that in their existence.
Keith Vance: So is he going to pursue bowling professionally? He is. Wow. Yes.
Angie Becker: Yes. He did bowling in school this year and he was first in districts. Wow.
Keith Vance: Yeah. That's cool.
Angie Becker: Yeah. My daughter, she is, she's former military. She was in the Navy for five years and she lives down by Fort Myers Beach. Oh, good.
Keith Vance: Do your kids weight lift or anything? Are you the only one?
Angie Becker: Well, my son dabbles in it. He takes it at school, but he has to kind of find a balance because it can affect the way he throws the ball because it's all by speed. And if he gets too, too strong, then he has to redo everything. So he just kind of plays around.
Keith Vance: Got it. Yeah. You own a local company here called Turtle Shirts. That's how I found you. Yeah. You do screen printing, make shirts, hats, and all that good stuff. Yeah. We're going to put that in the link. Yeah. And how long have you had that company?
Angie Becker: Since 2011. 2011. But our main focus now is garment manufacturing. We do the, like the bowling shirts that you see on TV.
Keith Vance: Oh, wow.
Angie Becker: The ones with the collar and the zipper and their names on the back and everything. That's, that's what we do.
Keith Vance: You manufacture them. Yeah. Wow. I didn't know that.
Angie Becker: Yeah. And. softball jerseys and tank tops, hoodies. We make them all here.
Keith Vance: My grandson, he was in Pee Wees for the Lee County Fair, and I was telling you about it, and you said you did a bunch of shirts for them.
Angie Becker: Yep, every year.
Keith Vance: Yeah, that's cool. Some of your interests. Obviously, the main one is your professional power lifter. We're going to talk about that. You like to play pool. Mm-hmm. You like to gamble. I do. You like to gamble. I need to gamble less, but I do like to gamble. I talked to you earlier in the week. Tell them that story that you told me.
Angie Becker: Oh, yes. So I think it was Tuesday. I was at the casino, and I started playing, and I was up 500. And I should have probably went home, but I didn't. I walked around. They changed the cards. Afterwards, I came back to the table, and I sat down in the same spot that I was sitting in, and I gave back like 200 or 300 of what I had just won. So I got up, and I walked around. And when I came back, the seat that I like to sit in, which is the first seat of the table, was finally open. So I moved all my stuff over there. And I sat down. And two hands later, the dealer gave me an eight, nine of diamonds. Then she flopped the 10, seven ace of diamonds. So I hit the progressive bonus right off the bat, which was $200. And then she flopped the six of diamonds at the end. So I got a straight flush, and I paid close to three grand.
Keith Vance: And the whole reason why you were there was because you're supposed to deliver some shirts to somebody, and you had to kill a couple hours. So they go, I'll just go over here. And you made three grand in a couple hours.
Angie Becker: Yeah, off of like $134. That's what I had in my wallet.
Keith Vance: You like to go to the beach. You like to travel. We're going to talk about this. In your powerlifting, you open up your gym to kids or anyone who wants to train. You use your expertise to teach and train, and you give back to the community that way. You coach for free. And then you have an event coming up in May.
Angie Becker: In May, I am going to nationals. In December, I qualified at States, and that allows me to go to nationals. Nationals is in Utah. I believe the master's is May 11th. And then when I win that, I will go to Worlds in October. And the last time I went to Worlds, I came in second overall. Wow. So this year, we're going to try masters because I've had the kidney issues, and I haven't fully recovered from that. And I feel like I'm stronger now than I was before, but we haven't really had a chance to push me to see where I am strength-wise. So we're going to find out. We're going to find out. The last meet that I did, there was only five lifters, and that was the one I needed to qualify for States. So I couldn't really do much there because there was no time to recover in between your lifts. Most competitions have three sets of 10 or 12 lifters per flight. So the flight A, they go first. They do three squats. Then flight B goes. They do three squats. And then flight C goes, which is where I'm usually there and the last lifter. And then we squat three times. And then it starts all over again. Flight A benches three times. And then goes down to C. And then deadlift A goes three times. Then B, then C. So it's a day-long process. But everybody is given the opportunity to rest a little bit to try to recover between their lifts and prepare for the next one, which allows you to perform at your maximum capacity.
Keith Vance: When we go to talk about this part of the podcast, we can dial down deeper. But just I had a little bit of anxiety just now hearing you talk about that. Because when I want to do something, I want to go now. And trying to negotiate those being ready and having to wait. Like you got to time it perfectly. So when you said it's an all-day event and there's these different tiers and you're waiting and trying to be rest enough, but also not so rested that you're not ready to go. Like I feel like that's a balance when you're waiting all day. And then now it comes time for you to do your lift to be. You're waiting. Thank you. to be ready for it. Does that make sense?
Angie Becker: I would have anxiety listening to this myself, but it actually works out perfectly because like when I go to a meet, I show up about an hour later than everyone else. So your flight eight people, the ones that are going first, they need to show up an hour and a half before, and then they start at nine. Then you have flight B who is starting to warm up. And then as they're finishing, we come in and we start to warm up. And it, it seems like it's a long span in between, but it's not really because the only true break that you have is when they're breaking down the equipment, which is like 15 minutes.
Keith Vance: So, so you're not there all day. You show up closer when it's your time to get rock in the beginning.
Angie Becker: But, but after that, the other two lifts, but benching goes by much faster than squats. Squats is the longest of the three lifts because you have to get set. They have to set the weights. Then you have to wait for the command to squat. And then the next person comes, they got to adjust the weights. They got to adjust the mono. If they're using a mono or if they're walking out and it's just squatting is very time consuming, but everything else is pretty fast.
Keith Vance: It sounds strange, but when I started doing this podcast, I got to time it right. If I start thinking about it too soon and start like rehearsing, try it, like starting to get ready too soon, I get fatigued before it's time to do it. So I got to time this just right. And then when it's done, I feel like taking a nap because it like the, the anticipation of it, the getting ready, the anticipation. And that's what I'm talking about. That anticipation, you can have that, that emotional dump, that adrenal dump, I think potentially too soon that could affect your lift. Right. If you don't time it right.
Angie Becker: Well, a first time lifter, you can usually tell them apart from the experienced, long, long time lifters because we have our, our routine and I, people used to think I was a very unfriendly person because I don't really talk to anyone. I'm there to do a job. I know what my goal is for that day. And I know exactly what I'm going to do, how I'm going to get there. And, and, and I should achieve my goal. Wow. So when I would go to meets when my teammates were competing and I was there to help them, I was, you know, friendly and chatty and people were like, Oh my gosh, we thought you were a not very nice person. And I'm like, well, when I'm here to do my, my competition, I'm here for me. All of you all don't matter to me on that day. Yeah.
Keith Vance: That makes sense.
Angie Becker: And people don't understand that they want to, Hey, how are you? And I'm like, not today.
Keith Vance: It's funny you say that because even in getting ready for this, I got to like almost shut that off. Cause I got to focus on you focus on what we're doing here. So that's, there's value here. Like this is, I'm doing a job right now. It's not, we're not just talking to have a conversation. I'm like doing a job because I need to pull out that gold. So that I can like ask you the right questions so that it brings value to the table. So it's work. Yeah. So, and then lastly, Angie, you're 48 years old girl, still lifting heavy weight. I'm 48.
Crosstalk: I am.
Keith Vance: And that's another thing I want to talk about. How long can we do this for? You know, there's this thing that says, Hey, you know, once you hit 30, you got to start slowing down and start like not doing stuff. And here you are 48 pulling 500 some odd pounds. So that's, that's encouraging to me. And I want to talk about that because I want to be able to use this body, keep it strong as long as possible. And I'm curious how far can we go with it?
Angie Becker: Well, any kind of strength training, any kind of gym thing, if you do it properly and don't do the ego crazy lifting type things and you keep your body, you know, on a steady incline of, you know, getting stronger and you do proper form and you brace and breathe and do all of the things that you're supposed to do properly, you should be able to do it forever.
Keith Vance: And that's awesome.
Angie Becker: It's just people get a little antsy or anxious and they, you know, they want to be the strongest squatter or the best looking bodybuilder or whatever, but they don't want to compete. They just want to do their things on social media and they do crazy things that they should never be doing. So you really have to, you really have to understand that this is it. This is all that you have. And if you want to protect it and you have to train the proper way and do proper things.
Keith Vance: Well, good. Angie, before we get started, everyone gets Still Strong. You can represent us if you feel like it. Actually, no, not if you feel like it. When you get first place in May, represent us there. I want to see that. Okay. And then you know what these are. Richardson 112s. These are supposed to be the best. So, here you go, girl. They are. Appreciate you. Thank you. All right, let's get going. We're going to start from the beginning. Okay. You and I talked earlier in the week, just kind of get a game plan for today. And I said, hey, normally we start with childhood stuff. You know, that's when we're being developed, and you let me go through the whole process. And you said, hey, Keith, I'll talk about everything you want to talk to except for my childhood. Nobody wants to hear that. But then we sat in there, and you kind of opened up a little bit, and you kind of talked to about it. And I think I kind of gave you the vibe of what Still Strong was about trauma, hardships, how it developed us, and how we're not the only ones. Like, we all go through something. And if my story can help someone else, then it was worth it, right? So, I'm going to let you, I can see right now. I can see right now. I'm going to let you navigate this however you want to.
Crosstalk: But you said, nobody wants to hear that. Nobody wants to hear that. And you kind of softened up a little bit.
Keith Vance: So, Angie, let's talk about your childhood. How are you, what events shaped you? What was life like for Angie the girl?
Angie Becker: When I was really little, like five, six, I was into dance, and I played the organ and the piano and all those types of things. And my dad was in business for himself, and my mom worked for a community college in the area, and she worked there for many years. And as years progressed, my mom turned out to be a functioning alcoholic, and my dad wasn't around very much for a while. So, it was just her and I, and a lot, and situations.
Keith Vance: Where was your dad? Was he on business? He was a museum exhibit fabricator.
Angie Becker: So, he used to travel to all the different museums, especially on the East Coast, and install their cabinetry and fixings for the upcoming museum exhibits they were going to display.
Angie Becker: So, I had a rough life with my mom. She was very abusive. And addiction is a horrible, horrible thing. And it is a disease. But it is much more difficult for the people on the opposite side than it is for the one with the addiction. Because if they don't want help, they will never get help. And for us, we see what's going on, and our first thing is to help. And sometimes it can make things worse. So, but my mom passed away about eight years ago from cirrhosis of the liver. And she died a very painful, sad life.
Crosstalk: I think this is my, Michael, what are we, 13? Is this our 13th one, 12th one? This is number 11. This is number 11.
Keith Vance: There's been this reoccurring theme that you never really know what somebody's gone through or is going through. Especially when it comes to children and their childhood. You just never really know. And those things that, in our childhood, when we're being developed, you know, they say between zero and seven, like 90% of who you are is developed during those years. You know, your insurance drops off at 25 because that's when the final hardwiring is done at 25. And it's just impressed me that your story is not a unique story. It's not unique. There's a lot of kids that are going through stuff that you would, no child should go through. But it seems to be more prevalent than what I thought. And just, I don't know what the answer is, Angie. Maybe this is part of the answer, just sharing these stories and trying to figure it out. But then you got to ask yourself, okay, your mom... your mom's situation, what influenced her? What caused her to be that way? And then this cycle that how did her parents influence her and then how it just perpetuates. You follow me?
Angie Becker: Well, I really don't have an answer to what started it for her. But what I do know about addiction, because I was considered a codependent there for a long time from the mental things that I sustained going through what I went through. I was afraid of being alone. So I would attach on to people, and then I would do whatever to try to make things work even if they weren't working. Understood. So I had to go, and I had to learn about the adverse effects of what happens from someone being basically traumatized by someone with addiction. And most of it comes from not knowing how to cope with day-to-day things or how to cope with things that are emotional, that create extreme feelings like sadness, anxiety, panic, things like that. And so people use substances to help with how they feel. And it's a shame that people don't know how to express their feelings to someone that they would consider as a friend or a family member. Because just talking to anyone about anything can usually at least give you some kind of clarity or some kind of path to find a solution or something. And I always tell my son, I said, Honey, I don't care what happens at school. I don't care if somebody makes you cry or somebody wakes you mad. But at the end of the day, if it makes you feel like you have emotions that you don't know how to handle, come to me no matter what. Even if in the end it upsets me or it makes me mad or we have to have a discussion about how things maybe could be handled differently, it's better than you taking on the brunt of that and feeling whatever you feel by yourself. Yes. And he's come to me a couple times and he's like, Mom, I hope I don't get in trouble for telling you this. And then he'll go and tell me whatever.
Angie Becker: And most of the time it's something that I wouldn't be upset about. But there has been times where, okay, this has happened, so maybe we don't need to do this again in the future.
Keith Vance: But like you said, at least he's coming to you and just...
Angie Becker: I didn't have that. Yeah. I had friends of our family that I could talk to, but I couldn't really talk to them about my mom or my dad because they were friends with them too. Got it. And years and years later, those people that I probably should have went to and talked to saw with their own eyes everything that I was going through and they were sad that they didn't help back then. But, you know, back in the day, well, I'm 48, so in the 80s and the 90s, people did not advertise their life in any way, shape, or form. Like people that have had money, you don't tell people that you have money. Right. Like you don't talk about really anything that goes on behind the walls of your house. Right. And now everybody, that's the whole world, see everything about themselves.
Keith Vance: Yeah. And I don't know which is right and which is wrong. You know what I mean?
Angie Becker: Well, I think privacy is... I think we should go back to people being more private.
Keith Vance: Yeah. To be honest. People show too much or tell too much, right? But being more private, being private, but also having a circle of people that you can go to, like your son can go to you instead of being so private. I've told this before. My... Six, seven years ago, went to Michigan with my mom and dad. My mom's brother was dying of cancer and I felt like I needed to be there. I told my wife, I said, it's the worst time to go. But I said, I need to go. So I went up there and now I know why I went because when I got to spend some time with him, but I was given... There was this one day I was given my mom and her brother time alone. My dad and I took a trip down memory lane. He showed me where he grew up as a kid and I learned more about my dad in those two hours driving around that I did my whole life. We pulled up this one driveway where he was five years old. So I'm going to be back to him. So I'm going to be back to him. So I'm going to be back to him. Thank you. Five years old. There's these little houses side by side. They're not like where I live here on five acre tracks where it's spread out. These little houses side by side. And he told me what life was like in the house. Where his dad would come home drunk.
Crosstalk: And the cops would come. Where his mom.
Keith Vance: He saw his mom hurt herself. Pills involved. Just chaos. So this five year old kid. And he's telling me this. And I want to go back in time. And save that boy. And I'm looking at these freaking houses Angie. These freaking houses like 15 feet apart. And I said dad how come that guy. Or that guy. Or this guy. Nobody intervened. He said Keith it was just a different time back then.
Intro voiceover: It was.
Keith Vance: Everybody mind their own business. It was just a different time. Yeah. So I don't think that. That that's right. But again and again. I don't think it's good for everybody to know all your business. Like there's. There's that. There's that. Somewhere in the middle. Where. You should be able to intervene. When the cops are rolling over there. And you see some. A kid coming out. And you don't. He looks dishuffled. To be able to have a conversation. Hey buddy. You good? Because I think there's a lot of kids. That are going through a lot of stuff. That they shouldn't be going through. Oh yeah. So. Anyway.
Angie Becker: But the other thing that you have to think of. With kids. Because. We've had some trying times. With my stepdaughter.
Crosstalk: And.
Crosstalk: I don't know how. How to put this. But.
Angie Becker: No matter. What kids go through. And. You're going to think I'm crazy. If you're saying this. But no matter what kids go through. Even. When their parents are mean to them. They still love them. Absolutely.
Crosstalk: So. When. They see bad things.
Angie Becker: That their parents are doing. And it may even be done to them as well. It's a different process mentally. Because. They still love them. Even after that. Yeah. And it requires someone else. That is seeing that. To intervene. Or. The other parents. To step in and say. Hey. We don't do this here. Or we need to fix things here. Yeah. And if you don't have that. Then this is how the child lives. And. You know. My stepdaughter. She. Is a. She is probably. A master manipulator. And. Her. Goal. In life. For. A very long time. Was to split up me and her dad. We. We were newly married. And it's supposed to be the most joyous. Time. Of your life. And the first. Two months. Were. Her. And then. The. Nonsense. Started with her. And. It almost killed me. But. It was horrible. It was horrible. And I would never wish that on my worst enemy. And. If I never see her. Or speak to her again. It would be too soon.
Crosstalk: Really? Yeah. I. I. There.
Angie Becker: There's not even. Anything within me. To be hateful to someone. For no reason. Right. There is not anything. That anyone could do to me. That would make me hate them. For no reason. Right. So. I have a hard time.
Crosstalk: I have a hard time. With mean people. I mean. I. Want to punch them in their throat.
Angie Becker: I mean. Honestly. That's. I don't. I have a real hard time. With mean people. It's. It's. Almost like. Somebody is ripping out my heart. Or. Attacking me. Physically. But they're not. But I. I take everything personal. Right. So. If you're mean to me. You're going to. Ignite me. And. I don't know what you're going to get. You may get some. Foul language. You. I'm not a. A violent. Or physical person. So I. I really won't punch you in your throat. But. I. I would. I would probably say. Some not very nice things.
Crosstalk: My.
Crosstalk: I'll go to another. I'll go to another.
Keith Vance: Example. I had talked with my. I had my cousin. I had a few. Weeks ago. And we were talking about. About what we're talking about now. I was pulling the trailer. Moving my daughter. To a new apartment. And somebody was using my truck. So I was using my wife's truck. And the trailer was too heavy for the truck. So when I would go too fast. It'd start fishtailing. Oh yeah. Okay. Yeah. So I'm on the I-75. And. The slow. The slow lane is too slow. So I look behind me and there was room for me to go around this person. So I start going around them and it starts fishtailing. So I slow down a little bit and I'm, I'm, I'm creeping up on them. I'm, I'm, I'm making headway. But then this guy behind me comes flying up on me. Just riding close. I know he wants around me. I know he's mad at me, but I also know I can't go any faster. So here I am next to this car and I'm just barely, you know, and so I finally get over. And he's giving me the bird the whole way while he's passing. And then he rolls down, you know, in this truck, that slide window and sticks his hand, you know, and then just to make sure that he knows he's, he's mad at me. I don't think that's a bad person. I think that you talk about drug abuse being an escape mechanism or a coping mechanism. I think that our emotions can be an escape or a cope. I think whatever that guy was going through, maybe just having a bad day, something's going on, but I feel like that guy was under a lot of stress. And that his anger was a way for him to get what he wants. You follow me? People get depressed. People have these, they do these, these, these things. And these emotions affect, they affect the people that we come in contact with positively or negatively. But I think at the end of the day, I think most people are coping with whatever they're going through. And these tools that they've learned that work for them, good tools or bad tools, they just work. So they use them. You found, you understand what I'm trying to say?
Angie Becker: Well, they say it takes more muscles to smile than it does to frown. And a lot of times it's easier for us to see the negative side of things instead of trying to focus on the positive.
Keith Vance: And you never know the whole story in someone's life. That guy didn't know that I couldn't go any faster. You never know the full story. So I'm learning, Angie, through this podcast and at 50 years old, that when people treat me a certain way, there's a reason why. And they're probably on, I might never know what the reason is.
Angie Becker: Well, a very smart person told me one time, there, there is only one person that can change the current situation. And there's only one person that can change how you feel about something. And that's yourself. So if that guy was mad, you can either let him affect your feelings because you upset him, or you can just let him go be mad and you're going to still do what you're doing. And especially dealing with my stepdaughter, I, I really had to really learn that because it was either, I was probably going to die from stress or I had to figure out a way to maneuver life differently. And I'm being without my husband was really not an option. So I had to learn how to focus on the things that are most important to me.
Keith Vance: I'm glad we spent, it finally came to the top. I'm glad we spent as much time here as we did because I just got it. It finally came to the surface. We cannot control other people's actions. We can't control how other people think. We can't control anything about someone else, but you know what? I can't control what goes on in here and what comes out here. So you had a choice to make with her. She's treating me unfair. I'm the new one in. This is not right. So now, now you have a choice to make, right? Now I have a choice to make to become bitter and go down this, this, this drain to try to take on everything that you said. And maybe we can get to it. They said, almost killed me trying to take it all on. How do I fix this? Or to figure out how to navigate through this in a way that's, my health is not in decline. I can communicate love to her, whatever that looks like, and try to navigate through this in a positive way. Every day I have a choice. How do I react to something? I could have gave that guy the bird. You know what I mean? It was just easy, but no, you know what? I'm not going to get wrapped up in that. So I'm glad we spent time here. I can control my thoughts. I can control my reactions. Easier said than done, man. Easier said than done.
Angie Becker: You know, I, I'm like a psychiatrist at work because people come in and even when you came in that one time, we talked for quite some time, but it's like that with everyone, everyone that comes into the shop pretty much wants to sit down and talk with me. And I had this lady come in and she was telling me about how much she hates her job. And I said, well, why do you have this job then? And she says, well, what do you mean? And I said, well, if you hate the job so much, why don't you go? get another one. And she says, well, I make a lot of money. And I said, well, it sounds like the money isn't enough if you're not happy. And she says, I didn't think of it like that. And a little while later, she got another job. She's a principal of a school and she's making like four times what she was making. And she's happier, the happiest I've ever seen her. And you had an influence on that. Well, I don't know if it was all me, but you know, people get into a rut and all they can focus is on this rut. And the rut, it may be there. It may not be there, but the only way to get out of it is change something. You have to figure out a way to get out of it or a plan to try to get out of it or something, but it's only you.
Keith Vance: And that, um, that change sometimes happens with just having a conversation with someone else outside of your head. And that's what I'm getting at, right? Have a conversation with someone outside of your head. And then on your side, you could have been so busy with what you got to do, making these shirts or whatever that you didn't have time to give her the time today because you're busy too. But to take the time to slow down, let someone talk, give them, have a conversation. It's, I think we need more of that. I think we need more of that.
Angie Becker: So, well, my ex used to tell me before he left the business that I, I spend more time talking and doing other things than I do the business. And there are days that I have people in my office the whole day between putting in orders and things like that. And I have to stay late and work until 10, 11 at night, but I am the salesperson and sales is about building relationships. There you go. Yeah. You, if, if you go to a stranger and you approach them, Hey, I'm, I sell shirts and I want to try to sell you some shirts. And they say, Oh, I already have a shirt person. So what could you show me differently? Well, you're not selling yourself. You, you don't, you got to sell you, right? You got to make them want to buy their stuff from you because of you, not because of what you sell.
Keith Vance: That's a good point. And we can make that transition. If you want, you want to talk about business? You want to train? Oh, we could talk.
Angie Becker: I'm just using it as an example. You can use it in a powerlifting way too.
Keith Vance: That's good because, um, I do business with people, not entities. So we're in construction. Um, we'll get these bid invites from these big entities. And, um, I won't, I need to know, I need to develop a relationship with somebody on the other side that if something goes sideways, I can, I have a connection with that person. I don't do business with entities. I do business with people. I build, I build relationships with people, which is what, just what you had spoke to, right? The people, people get shirts made anywhere. Yeah. You know what? So, but people do business with Angie because Angie invested with them. We used to own a restaurant called horse round daily, North Fort Myers. Um, people came, you can buy a sandwich at subway. You can buy a sandwich anywhere, but people invested in our family. People invested in us and into people, not necessarily the food. So it is about building those relationships. And then the other stuff is just, it's just what we do to make money, right? We just do shirts because that's what we do to make money. So, um, Angie, let's move to, um, what got you in the powerlifting?
Angie Becker: Uh, so before powerlifting, I ran, hosted, prepared, did everything for our adult softball community here in the area. I ran leagues in Lehigh, uh, two or three days a week. I, we also put teams in the Fort Myers league, uh, two to three days a week. And then I also ran tournaments two weekends a month. And then we went and did a tournament for someone else's tournament once a month. So that was my life. And I did that for my ex because that's what he wanted. He wanted to have these softball teams. And towards the end, we couldn't get anybody to play for us. We paid for them. We sponsored the team and we did all these things, but we couldn't get people to come and play for us anymore. So one of my pitchers, his, his name was Angel. I, I reached out to him one day and I said, why don't you guys want to come play with us anymore? Because at, at the tournaments, I would be running them. So I would either be working concessions or I would be getting teams going where they needed to go. So I would be working with him. So I would be working with him. Thank you. Or dealing with the umpires, whatever. I really didn't get to spend time much with the teams unless we were traveling to another tournament. So I asked him, I said, what? What's going on? And he's like, we can't be around the way your ex treats you. And I thought about that for a bit because he would yell at me in front of everyone and humiliate me and embarrass me. And it would happen like almost every weekend. And the people that knew me that have been knowing me for all of these years as well, well, they did not appreciate that. So people stopped coming and hanging around him because they wanted to punch him in his throat. So towards the end, one day I was getting dressed and he told me that I was fat and nasty and I needed to go to the gym. And I said, okay, I'll go to the gym. But I want a personal trainer two times a week. And I needed my own car so that I can go and do the classes that I want to do and whatever. So I went down. I bought myself a car. Went to the gym. Got my membership. Got a personal trainer. I did boot camps three to four days a week in the morning. And then I saw my personal trainer two times a week. And her name was Megan. And she changed my life. But she offered a introduction to a weightlifting class. And I wasn't going to do it. But she's like, you should come and try. And I said, okay, fine. It was just with PVC pipe. So it was like, you know, this is ridiculous. But the reason why she did it that way was to teach us how to do proper form. So I teach all of my newbies the same way with PVC pipe or broom handles. Because if you don't lift properly, even just the lightest bit of weight can create problems. So here we go on to this class. We finished the class. And this guy had been working out nearby. And there was a bar with 225 pounds on it, a deadlift bar. And she was like, Angie, do you think you can lift that? And I'm like, well, how much is it? She's like, it's like 225 pounds. And I'm like, you just want me to go and pick it up? And she's like, well, yeah, just see if you can do it. And I picked it up like it was nothing. And she's like, was that hard? And I was like, no. She's like, you need to begin powerlifting. And I said, what's that? And they were like, you compete. You do the squat, bench, and deadlift. And she says, I think you will be great. And I said, okay. So I got myself a coach. And I started training powerlifting.
Keith Vance: How old were you at this time when you started?
Angie Becker: Probably about, it was in 2017. So about 10 years ago. So I'm 38. The boot camps, I started probably two years before that. But I didn't take the weightlifting class until a year or so into my boot camps.
Keith Vance: So the reason why I asked is because that's not a young age. It's not old, but it's not young. So there's like, you can do whatever, whenever, right? Well, let's back up a little bit.
Angie Becker: We'll come back to my powerlifting coach. So when I first started the gym and I did the boot camps, I set some goals for myself. I wanted to be the, I didn't want to be the last person to run the quarter mile around the parking lot. And I wanted to do a full sit-up and a full push-up, you know, one without assistance, without modifications. And there was people that would take videos of me doing these classes and they would post them on social media and make fun of me. It was horrible. But it pushed me to do better because I didn't want to look, I didn't want to look like that anymore. I mean, I didn't look that great. So people made fun of me. It was probably a year that I endured a lot of, you're fat, you're gross. And I'm like, I know, but I'm trying to be better. And so the first day that I did a sit-up, it was like, it was like I'd won the lottery. It was amazing. Can we, I think there's something here.
Crosstalk: I think there's something here.
Crosstalk: I'm trying to put myself in your shoes, Angie.
Crosstalk: I'm trying to put myself in your shoes.
Keith Vance: I have, I have seven kids. Yeah. I got five girls. I got five girls. And it. Girl, are you all right? Yeah. All right. You need a tissue? You got a tissue? Go get us a tissue.
Keith Vance: I think girls naturally are more susceptible to how everybody thinks about them. My girls, man, they got to look just right before they go out. Like, they got to, like, everything got to be just perfect. If I, as their dad, say something, I got to be careful, and I learned this, I got to be careful what I say to my girls, especially, because if I say something, like, even if it's joking, not intended to be a certain way. Thank you. Not intended to be a certain way. They'll take it a certain way. I remember, and I'm ashamed of this. I am ashamed of this. I don't even want to say this, but I'm going to. Okay. We went, my kids were smaller.
Crosstalk: We went to an all-you-can-eat buffet, and we got our food, and then I wasn't eating. And my wife said, why are you eating? Because there was somebody over there that was overweight, food, you know, just, and I made a comment about, about that.
Keith Vance: And one of my daughters never even said a word. This didn't come out until years later. She struggled with some stuff. Because of that comment I made about someone else. You all right? Because of that comment I made about someone else. She said, well, if dad, if dad thinks that about them, what does he think about me? About body stuff. You follow me? So, something that I said about someone else had an influence on my daughter. And I wasn't even talking about her. But here. Thank you. Here, you have comments being directed towards you. While you're trying to work on yourself, I think that I would just, I would go to a dark place. I don't think I should, I don't think I would come to the gym the next day. I don't think like, but you kept going. So, can we talk about that for a minute? Because I think there's something here that teenage girls, women need to hear. Because like I said, this platform is what we've gone through. Hey, here's what I did. Here's what I learned. So, and I'm not a woman, but I can feel this. Because I'm mad right now. I'm mad right now. Yeah. That you're doing your thing and that people are, because you're, I know you. Yeah. So, let's speak to that for a minute. Those emotions. Like, what kept you coming? What kept you coming back? Why didn't you say, oh, yeah, you're right. I'll just quit.
Crosstalk: Because then I would be giving into them.
Angie Becker: You know, my ex, even when I got big and strong, the first muscle that started to appear besides my quads was my traps. And, do you know, you know how hard it is to grow traps. It's one of the hardest muscles to grow. And the only reason why mine developed so fast was because when you squat, you have to make a shelf on your back. Like, I'm not physically holding that bar on my back. I have a, I have a divot in my muscles. Yeah. And that's where the bar sits. So, in order to do that, you have to really work on your traps. And, he said, you know, I'm so glad you went to the gym, but now you're starting to look like a dude. And that was the end. That was, I swear to you, that was the end. We were not together anymore after that because the amount of work that I had put in, I, when I first started going to the gym, I weighed 260 pounds. And I was very overweight and I was very fat. There was a lot of body fat and I wasn't very attractive. But, I'm not too far from 260 right now. But, I can guarantee you, nobody's going to come and get in my face and tell me anything not nice because they would be afraid that I would do something to them. And I, most men aren't intimidated by me, believe it or not. But, some aren't, but some would still not come and get in my face. And people do not write anything negative about me anymore.
Keith Vance: You've said, I have a dozen times about your being beautiful. I think you're a beautiful person.
Crosstalk: Oh, thank you.
Keith Vance: There's a verse in scripture that says, don't worry. About the outward adorning. What makes a woman beautiful is that sweet inner spirit. And you have a sweet spirit about you. You are beautiful. When they talk about inner beauty, my wife has inner beauty. My girls have inner beauty. You have inner beauty. When I spoke to you on that phone, I heard inner beauty.
Keith Vance: So I think you're over the hump right now. You know who you are. You know who you are. Like you said, you've transformed your physical body. I think you're mentally, emotionally. Angie walks into a space. She knows who she is. But for those teenage girls who don't know who they are yet, I think this is an important conversation we're having. Those voices that we hear that can shape us, that can shape how we feel about ourselves.
Angie Becker: There are narcissists out there, and that is just the way they are. And you will never change them. A narcissist fuels their, they're ignited by being mean and hateful to other people. That's what a narcissist is. They are using their words and their thoughts to inflict pain onto others. And they can be nice. I call them a false advertisement. They can act nice to get you to come. To draw you in. Yes. And then once they have you in, then they make you feel like you can't live without them, or you can't be without them, or you're the biggest piece of poop that has ever existed, and are nothing without them. And then that's when life starts to take you down that rabbit hole, because they make you fall in love with them.
Keith Vance: So looking back, looking back with your ex, you had told me you were together 10 years. You said eight years too long. Looking back, did you see the warning signs that you were just oblivious to early on?
Angie Becker: In the beginning, it was him and I were great, and he had a heart attack. He actually ended up having two heart attacks. And after the second one, he came out of it a completely different person. And that is normal, they say, for people that go through major medical procedures, that it can affect them physically and emotionally. And I had never heard of it before, but he came.
Keith Vance: I've never heard that before either with heart attacks, but with strokes, yes. Normally, when people have strokes, they cry a lot. Their emotions change. I had never heard about it with a heart attack before.
Angie Becker: It could be any major type surgery.
Keith Vance: So he had a second heart attack, and you noticed a shift in him and his? Okay.
Angie Becker: Yep.
Angie Becker: So before the heart attacks was when he asked me to marry him, and I did want to marry him, and I was going to marry him. After the heart attacks, it didn't take very long before I knew that that was never going to happen. And then we had a child, and his stepmom lived with us, and I really didn't have anywhere else to go. So I just dealt with it for eight years too long.
Keith Vance: You felt like there was no way out.
Angie Becker: It wasn't really that there was no way out, but I was fat and nasty. You know? He treated me horrible in front of all of the people that we were around almost every weekend. So who would want me?
Keith Vance: And that's how I felt for many years. Did you rationalize what he was saying? Did you try to make it? Well, he must have. Did you? What was the? Just try to relive that process. What made you stay there? Did you rationalize it? You say, oh, he didn't mean it that way? Or are you just joking? What was that process?
Angie Becker: Well, it makes you feel inadequate. It makes you feel like you are worthless. You believed it. Like, who would want me? He thinks I'm nasty, so if he thinks it, everybody else must too. And then I was going through all the internet comments at the same time. Oh, that was just... Yes, it was like... Like, I still... People tell me I'm pretty all the time, but I just say thank you. Because I don't feel it.
Keith Vance: I'm sorry. And I hate seeing you wipe your tears right now. I feel like I'm taking you somewhere painful for you. And I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry. but as a dad of five girls, thank you for, thank you for allowing us to have this discussion. Okay. Thank you. Well, let's move on, girl. All right. Let's move on. I can take enough heavy.
Angie Becker: I wasn't expecting to do this today. That's for sure.
Keith Vance: All right. Thank you.
Angie Becker: That's very personal.
Keith Vance: Yeah. Thank you.
Angie Becker: You're getting out of me today.
Keith Vance: Yeah. Thank you. All right. So let's get past the nastiness and all that. Oh, let's go back to my powerlifting coach. Let's get it. Okay. So let's get to your powerlifting coach and I have some questions for you. So let's get, let's get it, girl. You ready?
Angie Becker: So my first powerlifting coach was Pat Wilson and he was for the strong man. So he was strong. I don't know. Well, he did do some powerlifting, but then he left for powerlifting and went to strong man. I don't run and I don't ever want to run. So strong man's not for me, but we, I met him and he says, Oh, there's a competition coming up. And it was a very brief time. It was maybe like six or nine weeks. And he's like, I think we should sign up. And I'm like, I don't even know what I'm doing. And he's like, well, we'll work on that, but let's sign up and then we'll, we'll go from there. I was like, okay. So, um, we, I learned a squat. I learned a bench. I learned a deadlift.
Keith Vance: I, can I pause real quick? Yeah. For people who don't know what powerlifting is, those are the three movements, right? Yes. Those are the three movements, the big three. Okay. Got it.
Angie Becker: So we prepared the best we could. I learned, I learned, I had to learn so much, but we trained hard and whatever he told me to do, I did it. And, my first meet, I was so nervous. I, I think I even threw up before the meet. So at a meet, you go up there, you have to do your lift and everybody's standing there watching you. There is no other attention grabber. It is just you. And they, and they're all cheering you on. It's, it's the most wonderful, um, environment you could be at. So that drew me in at first. I wanted to do more of that, but I didn't qualify my first squat at my meet. I didn't get low enough. And it was embarrassing. And it was, uh, it was tough. And they could have disqualified me completely because if you sign up for full power and you don't get the squat, they usually don't let you carry on, but they let me pay the, uh, extra fee to do just bench and deadlift. So I at least got to finish the meet and I at least got the numbers for my bench and my deadlift.
Keith Vance: Okay. Your first meet, your first meet. Yeah. I think there's something here again.
Angie Becker: Oh gosh. This one won't make me cry. I promise.
Keith Vance: I think there's something here. So you said, Hey, people are cheering you on. Yeah. So let's relive that. I don't want to walk through this first meet because we just went through some dark stuff about people comment. Here you are. You're busting your ass working and people are making comments for you. Now here you are with this heavy load on your back and people are cheering you. Let's go. I can feel that energy right now. So, but you lived it. Just walk me through it. Just walk, just relive it. Walk me through it.
Angie Becker: So for squatting, your, the top of your knee has your hip crease has to go below the top of your knee.
Keith Vance: How much weight? How much weight did you have on your back? Do you remember? Um, this first one, it was just 300 pounds. We mean just 300. You want to know my max. Oh, my boys over there laughing at me. Don't laugh. Just 300 pounds. You want to, you know, you want to know what my max squat is? 315. And I just did it last year. I'm not a strong squatter. And these last two guests have been humbling for you, huh? 315. So you said it was just 300.
Angie Becker: Just 300. That's a lot of weight. It is a lot of weight, but it wasn't to me at the time. My problem was, um, my problem was, hold on, man, you got to pull that mic close.
Keith Vance: We can hear you. Once you get done.
Angie Becker: My, my problem was, um, the depth.
Keith Vance: All right. So you had 300 pounds. All right. So let's go. Here we go.
Angie Becker: So the first time I tried it, I was so nervous. I think that everything shook the whole time I was trying to squat. So we didn't get that one. The second one, I thought I got low enough. The video seemed to show that I was low enough, but the judges didn't give it to me. And then the third one, I think I was just, all of the emotions had just taken over. And I think I went, I missed the command on the third one. So I might've got it, but with power lifting, it's really important that you know that it's all about control. So with your first, So yeah. With powerlifting at all, if your coach doesn't teach you about the commands and nothing's fast, like when I bench, it's time under tension and I bring it to let it rest on my chest and then I wait for the up command and then I press it up. There is very few people go like this because if you do, you're letting loose everything because people bring it to their chest usually and then they do like the pump to get it off. Well, there is none of that in powerlifting. You have to control the bar down, let it rest on your chest. The bar has to come to a complete stop. Then they call press and then you got to press this bar up and then you got to wait for them to say rack. So it's all about control. And that's the only way that they can really judge powerlifting in the most fair way is everybody has to do it the same. So with squats, you stand up or unrack the bar out of the mono and then you look at the judge and the judge will say squat and then you have to go down below parallel and then you have to come up and you have to wait for them to say rack and then you can put it back into the box. Stand or into the monolift, whatever you're using. For a deadlift, there is no star command. The minute that your hands touch the bar is when the lift begins and then you have to bring it up into the lockout position, knees straight, elbow straight. And then once you are locked out, they'll tell you to put it down. And that's it. That's powerlifting.
Keith Vance: It sounds simple, but I know it's not.
Angie Becker: No, it's not at all. There's so many things.
Angie Becker: There are so many things. Powerlifting is, I say it's 90% form and 10% air. Air? Air.
Crosstalk: Your air. Oh. Your air. 90% form and 10% air. Because if your form isn't good. Thanks. Thanks. But I'm not crying right now. I know.
Crosstalk: Just in case.
Angie Becker: If you're using proper form and you brace, you hold your breath while doing this lift, it should be successful every time. Especially, so for me, one big difference between watching you and I train, someone would notice right away. It doesn't matter what is on the bar. If it's the bar, a quarter, a plate, or whatever, I walk up to it the same way. I load it the same way. I move my feet the same way. Everything I touch when I squat is the same no matter what it is.
Keith Vance: Same intensity, same everything.
Angie Becker: Same everything because that's what I have to do on the platform. Got it. So if I don't do that as second nature and I walk up to the platform and I can't remember what I'm supposed to do, that's going to affect the way that you do your lift. Got it. But if you watch my videos, especially if it's one that starts from me walking up to the bar, it is the same every time. Exactly. I don't change anything.
Keith Vance: I had a guy last week. His name's Vadim. He's an Olympic weightlifter. So it was interesting. He was there. You're moving heavyweight quick. Yep. You know what I mean? But he said the same thing. He said when it's time to compete, practice time is over. You just go up there. You've already trained. You just get it, and you go. Now it's just time to do it. Yeah. So listen to you talk about, I see a lot of overlap with his, how he, in the moment, does it. Because a lot of, I'm sorry, a lot of it, what he said was what you just said. Different powerlifting and Olympic weightlifting is different things, but in the moment, it's the same thing. Yeah. Yeah, just get them to do it.
Angie Becker: We should look like a robot. Anybody that does any lifting sports should look like a robot every time they do it. It should be the exact same. You should be able to look at a video of their meat from a year ago to two years ago, and it should look the exact same every time. And most of us are that way.
Keith Vance: What about, well, I asked you about what were the emotions for that first lift. We kind of got off that first meet. We kind of got off something else, which is okay. We're good.
Angie Becker: Well, because I never qualified, because I never got my squat, I never really got to feel that emotion. But my first meet was amazing, and I fell in love with this. And the people. The community. Yeah. Awesome. Maybe we might cry a little bit more. No, I'm just kidding. But they are a big part of my life. Even though I don't appear friendly to most new people or people who don't know me, they are a big, big part.
Keith Vance: That's cool. Yeah. Everybody needs a community. And when you find your community in what you do, everybody needs their community. It sounds like you found yours. Yeah. Especially when I just brought it up and you're getting teary-eyed. Yeah. Yeah. That's good stuff.
Angie Becker: You know, for young women who maybe don't have their direction or haven't found their way, try to find something you love. Maybe it's reading. Join a book club. There's women that still do that. I don't know where, but I know there are. Or knitting, crocheting, quilting, anything really but gaming that requires other people. There are people that do it. There's people that play cards that you can go and join that group. There's church groups that do different types of things. There's some church groups that the girls just plan monthly trips and they go do it with the girls. So you really need to find something that you enjoy. And even if it's only once a month or once a week, you need to go and do that. Because if you don't feel self-gratification, that's just time spent on yourself. And people say, oh, well, I go shopping or whatever. But that's just you. You're not talking to anyone. You're not feeling any kind of camaraderie. So maybe you like to go shopping. So take a girlfriend or find a ladies group that likes to do shopping. I think the Red Hats or something like that, they do stuff.
Keith Vance: I see those restaurants all the time. Yeah. Yeah. But being alone is not what I mean by that.
Angie Becker: It's got to be something that involves other people in some way. Like if you like to knit, it's fine if you knit at home. But you should find a little knitting group that maybe can teach you different things to knit or something like that. But you have to feel like proud of yourself. You have to find a way to, oh, I learned this today from Joanne or Joyce or whoever. And they taught me how to do this. Or I can read better now because I learned how to skim through the middle of the page. There's so many things that you can learn. But you have to find something that you love. And you have to invest in yourself. Even if you have a million kids, you still need to find time to invest in yourself at some point during the week.
Keith Vance: Thank you for sharing that. Three comments I'm going to make on that one. The last one. The last one. I don't even want to say it, but I'm going to.
Keith Vance: The church I go to on Wednesday night, they have different groups. And one of them is a women's group. And my wife, my girls go to that group. And they just come back just always just talking about how good it was just being around other women and the things that they're talking about. And it just has a positive effect on them. Yeah. I have another daughter that she works all the time. So she has a hard time. Getting into groups. But she found this freaking app. And I'm not going to say her name because I don't want to embarrass her. But she found this app. Basically, you find somebody like a friend who's interested in stuff that you're interested in. And you go to a public place and you just do stuff together. Isn't it crazy? That sounds fun. Just do something. She's like, hey, you want to be a friend today? And then you just go do stuff in a public place. I thought that's pretty neat. Yeah. The thing that I didn't want to say is because I'm going to have to be accountable to it now. I don't like doing team stuff. I don't like doing group stuff. I got my own personal gym over here. And it's me versus me. But it's just me over there. Yeah, but you're doing this. This is not just you. Okay, good. Thank you. Okay, good.
Angie Becker: This is you having to communicate with other people.
Keith Vance: It doesn't have to be a group. I was afraid I was going to have to join a freaking CrossFit gym or something. I don't like being around people too much.
Angie Becker: No, I'm not doing that either.
Keith Vance: I got a friend of mine. He does these ultra marathons. And it just got in my blood a while ago. I wonder if I could do that. But I didn't want to do a team thing. I didn't want to do a group thing. So my wife dropped me off in Sarasota. And I ran 110 miles from Sarasota to Naples. I remember that. I just did it. So that's kind of like how I'm built. I like that me versus me voice. And I have a small circle. I don't have a lot of friends, but maybe there's something there that you just brought up. Maybe I need to open that up a little bit, have a little bit bigger community. And maybe this is that community. Maybe this is that community. Yeah, so thank you. Yeah, thank you for that. Oh, good. All right, Michael, how far, how deep are we? Okay, about an hour and 10 minutes in. Let's take a break. I got to go to the bathroom. We'll come back. We'll find something else to talk about. Okay. This part of the podcast is brought to you by Frequence. The product is Sync. Sync is my collagen and CBN. Collagen for skin, bone, tendon, muscle health. CBN for sleep support. Find the link in the bio. Now let's get back to the show. Oh, we're good. All right. I was going to say, give me a minute, but my boy, my boy's on the ball over there. Okay. So we're on now. We're back on it. Okay. All right. So in regard to your powerlifting, can we talk about training? What's a training cycle like? How long is a training cycle for? Like, like building up to a meat. Let's just walk through that real quick. Well, not real quick, but how long you need. Yeah.
Crosstalk: So we have meat prep and then we have playtime.
Angie Becker: We call it.
Crosstalk: Let's talk about it.
Angie Becker: Meat prep is three months prior to the meat. And so during those three months, we are preparing for our one rep max. That's going to be at the end of that on the platform. In the beginning, I gained a lot of strength fast. So I was getting PRs every time. Now it's very hard for me to get a PR. Usually we try to go for a total so I can try to win. And I, I won in December and then I won the meat before that as well. I won overall the open.
Angie Becker: So a lot of things. So for those three months, I trained three days a week. One day squatting, one day benching, one day deadlifts. And then after I finished my primary workouts of the squat, bench or deadlift, I have accessories afterwards.
Keith Vance: Are you, are you working off of like percentage off of max?
Angie Becker: Like when you're training, whatever my coach sends me, I do it.
Keith Vance: You just do it.
Angie Becker: And some days I can, and some days I can't. Sometimes I think he sends me the wrong, the wrong training. I'm like, who's supposed to do this today? But I try to, I try to complete it every time. Sometimes he surprises me because he definitely knows me better than myself.
Keith Vance: How long you been with your coach? Four years now.
Crosstalk: I'm pretty sure. Well, yeah.
Keith Vance: So you train three days a week, one day bench, one day deadlift, one day squat, and then you have accessory stuff.
Angie Becker: On those same days. I do. I rest on the other days. Only other thing I'm allowed to do on the fourth day, if I want to, is stretching.
Keith Vance: Do you do a lot of stretching?
Angie Becker: I try to.
Keith Vance: What kind of stretching do you do for your sport?
Angie Becker: Well, if you, you have to be able to squat past parallel. So you have to keep your ligaments.
Keith Vance: This is important.
Angie Becker: It is. As you get old. Your ligaments healthy. And after training some days, all you want to do is try to make it to the car and get home. Because if you, if I was bodybuilding training, we would stretch after. But I'm not. I'm full range of motions. Full force. Even though it's moderate weight for a number of reps. By the end of the, the end of my workout, I'm pretty worn out. You've done something. So. So. In the mornings, I wake up. If I feel kind of tense, I go out into the gym in the mornings and I'll, I'll stretch a little bit, whatever I worked the night before. But if I go in for a day just of stretching, I just, you know, do my little checklist of my flexibility and what hurts maybe a little, what doesn't. And then I try to work it out. I have a foam roller and I have machines and it's important.
Keith Vance: It is. I, um, I'm, I'm not a very flexible person. I'm, I'm working on it. Um, but I need to step it up more like ligament health, stretching, all that kind of stuff. Like. And I'm looking for, I need to be more consistent in it because I rush it. Like after I work out, I know I'm supposed to do some stuff and I rush it, but I need to consciously slow down and be intentional. My rotational stuff's not good. I broke this collarbone when I was a kid and then I was doing some pull-ups and film, cracking my scapula, so I naturally have some stuff that I need to work on. When do you work out?
Angie Becker: What time of day? Afternoons. And what do you do after that?
Keith Vance: After I work out, after I work out, I'll do a 10 or 15-minute stretching routine, but I need to be more conscious. And then I have an outdoor sauna. I get in the sauna, sweat it out, do some stretching in there. Stretch while you're in the sauna. Stretch while I'm in there and get that heat going. Yeah.
Angie Becker: And if you have like family time after dinner or something and you guys watch a movie or whatever, sit on the floor instead of on the couch.
Keith Vance: We'll do. And stretch. Will do.
Angie Becker: I need to be more intentional with that. It doesn't have to be right after, but you do have to find the time to do it because you will notice over time you will be less bendy and you need to be bendy forever because, so I'm sure you know this, but I'll just reiterate it for everyone else. Lifting should be full range of motion. It should be strengthening your ligaments and tendons. So the muscles that you have in your body right now are the same muscles that you were born with and that have, when you grow into maturity, they have not changed. The only thing that has changed is the tendons and ligaments that attach them. You strengthen that. And you probably say, well, that can't be because I've got more muscles now than I did before. Well, you've used them. And over time they grow because you fill them with blood and you work them. Bodybuilders, do you notice when they compete, they're all big and buff? And then over time, when they're not training for bodybuilding anymore, they're not as big as buff anymore. It's because they're not training their muscles like they were back then. They may still go to the gym and just do functionality stuff, but they're not trying to get that blood flow in there. And then also with bodybuilders, they do a lot of pumping movements. So we do the full range of what we're supposed to be doing, the full range of motion, which elongates your muscles instead of pumps them up.
Keith Vance: I do 95% of the time I have a morning routine. I get up, drink a quart of water. While my coffee's getting made, I go on the front porch and I have a stretching routine that I do. It takes about 20 minutes. So I do that in the morning. Like I said, after I work out, I do some more stretching, get in the sauna. I go see a massage girl and does deep tissue massage like once a month. Like I said, mostly with me, it's my scapula, my shoulder blades. Vadim was here. We were supposed to do some Olympic weightlifting, like normal guy versus professional. I couldn't even like do any of the movements because I wasn't flexible enough because my shoulder blade doesn't go back far enough to do some overhead stuff. So we have some content that I'm embarrassed to put up because I literally have like a broomstick and I'm working on my mobility while he's doing some heavy, like heavy, nice stuff. So do you do massage? Do you do like any of that kind of stuff? Like as a professional, like what's your care when it comes to that type of thing?
Angie Becker: I used to go get a massage, but I found that foam rolling my own self is better because they cannot push on you the amount that you can lay on a foam roller and let all of your body weight sit onto that. I used to. I used to spend a lot of money on massages. It's expensive, isn't it? It is. I do have a chiropractor that I see when I hurt myself. That was my next question. Chiropractic. But we don't do adjustments as much. She does if my hips are off. But other than that, I'm in and out in five seconds, really, unless I have an owie. Then she has to deal with that, usually with the laser or put it like my elbow. So for like six months, I had a problem with my left elbow and it kept going out of socket. Wow. And I went to her and I said, I cannot bench more than 225 pounds right now.
Crosstalk: You poor thing. You poor thing. Listen, this poor girl. I can do that. Yeah.
Angie Becker: So she took my arm like this and she. You poor thing. She had her arm on this side and this is up against her body. And whatever she did, it sounded like a gun had gone off into my elbow. And I said, what did you do? She's like, it was out. Wow. And then I didn't let it really heal. And now it's good. I can bench perfectly fine because I've had to make some adjustments to start letting things heal.
Keith Vance: Otherwise, it's good as you get older, especially you as a professional. To understand your body mechanics and to know when something's off and know how to navigate through it. I'm afraid that as we get older, the average person who doesn't know their body, they get used to a new ache and pain. And they just, oh, well, that's my new normal. And they just keep limping through life with it. Especially now with where we are in history is medically. Go get it figured out. Go get, hey, I got this bothering me. It could be something simple. And then like, oh, okay. It doesn't have to be a new normal.
Angie Becker: It happened when I was trying to open up my grip for benching. Because I watched these girls that their back is arched, which it's supposed to be. If you can get that really high arch, it's more beneficial to you. But they open up their grips. And the bar only moves like a little bit. But it's considered a good lift. And it's still a lot of load on them. Because these are little girls. So I was like, well, I think I'm going to try to open up my grip.
Crosstalk: That's how I hurt the elbow. When you start lifting and you find the way that works the best for you.
Keith Vance: Stick with it.
Angie Becker: You should. Because everybody has been trying to get me to switch to the... I do conventional deadlifting, but there's the sumo deadlifting. Yeah. And I am flexible enough that I could probably do it. But it would take me so long to retrain myself. I mean, I do it as accessories. I do it already as accessories. But it would take me so long to retrain myself. By the time I got to that, my conventional would probably be even stronger. Oh, man. Yeah. So, you know, whatever you decide in the beginning... I mean, I'm sure people convert halfway through and that's their choice. But whatever you decide in the beginning, you've decided to do it this way because it feels good to you. And lifting should feel good. It shouldn't hurt. And if it does hurt, then you probably should try either a different way or try some other movement. So I picked conventional and...
Keith Vance: I'm glad you did.
Angie Becker: I will never switch. I'm glad you did.
Keith Vance: That sumo... And I'm sorry, people that sumo did lift. But that don't look like a real one to me. Like, that conventional looks like you're doing something. That sumo... I've tried that sumo before. I'm afraid I'm going to drop that on my toe or something. Like, that's a lot of weight on there, but it's... Something about conventional pull just looks like...
Angie Becker: There are some sanctioning bodies that are considering taking away the sumo. So if they do, the sumo will either go somewhere else or they...
Keith Vance: Hold on, Mike, a little closer. Either.
Angie Becker: If they do do that, then sumo will either go to the meets that allow them or they will have to go back to conventional deadlifts. But sumo could be easier to cheat a little bit because your range of motion is so, so different. And if you can open up your legs, the width of the bar... Right. I mean, who wouldn't? Who wouldn't? But if I was going to do that, then I would start that way.
Keith Vance: And I didn't. As... We're going to move on to something next, but you...
Crosstalk: When you're talking about, hey...
Crosstalk: Stick with what works for you.
Keith Vance: As a guy that's just trying to be strong and healthy... I don't want to be a runner. I don't want to run. I don't want to be a bodybuilder, but I want to look strong. I don't want to be a powerlifter, but I want... Like, when it comes time to do something, I want to be able to do it.
Keith Vance: And it's funny because... Like, right now I'm doing a lot of just strength training and I haven't been doing any running. But there was a time where I was doing a lot of running. And I was like... When I was running, like, oh, man, I'm losing gains with my strength. But... But... Just for the average person who just wants to stay healthy, you don't have to be so strict when it comes to... Movements and stuff like that. Just do something, right? You don't have to be so strict. If you're really worried about that, then do a test.
Angie Becker: Like... Pick one of your favorite works. Pick one of your favorite works. Pick one of your favorite works. Or something that you have in each one, squat, bench, and deadlift. And so, we'll use this as an example. Say you had to do squat 225 for four sets of six.
Crosstalk: And let's say you were able to complete that, or you weren't.
Angie Becker: But use that as your guide. So if you did four sets of six that day, try to do four sets of seven or four sets of eight. Do you see what I'm saying? It would be a way to test your strength. We, the way that we do it for my coach is my last set is an AMRAP. So keep going until you can't go anywhere. And that's the only way that you can truly determine if your strength is getting better or not. is by that AMRAP because your training is going to be the same, whatever it was, 225 for four sets of eight, and then an AMRAP at the end.
Keith Vance: Turn that microphone. Turn it towards. There you go. There you go. Good. I want to make sure we get you. Yeah, when you say AMRAP, that's one word or one acronym. Yep. That gives me anxiety because when you say AMRAP, my heart starts burning, my lungs start burning, just thinking about it. As many rounds as possible, right? as many as possible. And what your brain says is possible, what your body says is possible, sometimes two different things. Like my brain wants to shut off before, oh man, anything you do as many rounds as possible. Your brain says, all right, I've had enough, but you got to keep going. You know what I mean? When it comes to that AMRAP, I hate that word. I hate that word.
Angie Becker: That's not meant to be like all out until you cannot function anymore. It is for us until you get to a point where you, well, the perfect example with benching, when your triceps give out, that's it. There's not one thing that you can possibly do to bench more when your triceps are done. So it's very easy to find that with all three. when your legs are done, if you did goblet squats as your tester, when your quads are burning, that's it. They're done.
Keith Vance: As many rounds as possible in 15 minutes. 15 minutes is a relative amount of time. 15 minutes when you're doing something for 15 minutes that you like to do, it goes quick. When you're doing something for 15 minutes that your lungs are on fire is like hours. We don't do all that. Yeah, no, you don't do that. I think I need to be a powerlifter.
Angie Becker: But for strength, that would be how you would test if you're losing it or not. To pick something that you can gauge. CrossFit, really, you can't because you could have a good day or a bad day. But with powerlifting, if on October 13th, 2024, you benched 225 for four sets of six and then you did an AMRAP of 13, and then two years from now, you looked back there, but you did the AMRAP for 25. Well, obviously, yeah. So CrossFit and powerlifting are like not even close to the same thing. And CrossFit is about doing as many as you can, as fast as you can with a form that may or may not be the most appropriate or the corrected one.
Keith Vance: I'm learning that. Yeah, I'm learning that. So I like, I've been doing that style workout for, I think like five years now. Now I'm doing some strength stuff. I just want to make sure that I'm changing it up because I want to be well-rounded. Not that I'm changing it up because I'm somehow becoming mentally weak. I'm always, that's always a fear of mine. Why am I changing? Because I'm mentally weak. I just want to make sure that I'm doing what I'm supposed to do. I always translate heavy lifting and running like physical stuff to real life stuff. Okay, well, if I didn't do that, then what else in real life would I not do? So it's just a personal struggle of mine. Let's talk about some of your achievements. Let's hear them.
Angie Becker: So the biggest squat that I've ever squatted is 601 pounds. No, no, no, no, no. Oh, okay.
Keith Vance: okay what I've done it three times you've done it three times what did that feel like when you're looking at it meant like the preparation for it like tell me through the whole thing like did you look at and say all right like I'm sure you had to the mental The most focused as you've ever been, right? That's a massive amount of weight. I never knew I was doing it. Okay, so tell me. Let's go.
Angie Becker: If my coach comes with me, I don't know what I'm about to lift. Wow. I know I can do it because he wouldn't give it to me if I couldn't do it, so I just go and do it, and I give it my all every time, and most of the time I'm successful. There have been times that I'm not, but it wasn't for lack of trying.
Keith Vance: So he put 600 pounds in the bar, and you didn't even know how much it was? No. You just did it? Did it. Oh, so maybe that's a technique. Three times. That's a technique.
Angie Becker: Yeah. I'm a squatter, unfortunately. That is my best lift, but I love to deadlift. Do you? Yes. I want to be a better deadlifter, but I'm a better squatter. I mean, I can deadlift a lot, and I'm beltless. I compete beltless. I do not wear a belt.
Keith Vance: So let's talk about your deadlift. What's your? 564.
Keith Vance: I can just see the tension getting pulled out of that bar right now at 564. That bar is like that. Yeah. Did that feel good?
Angie Becker: It's the last lift of the day, and by the time that you get there, your first goal is to get the first one in, because if you don't get that first deadlift done, then the meat is a waste. So your openers should always be something that can be done any day of the week and twice on Sundays. So my opener, usually somewhere around 500 pounds. Nice. Yeah. And then my second one, well, my openers are going to have to go up now, but it just depends on how much you have left in the tank at the end of the day. But if you don't get that first lift and you're done, you don't qualify.
Keith Vance: You talked about beltless. Um, I didn't realize until maybe a few years ago, a belt doesn't necessarily support your back. It's about bracing, right? That breath, giving yourself some tension for that breath, the brace. And I, I've been, I'm not a professional, but I, I know what it feels like to have a belt belt and that I can brace better. And I noticed that when I'm going for something heavy for myself, if I have that belt on, I don't know. I feel like I have 5% more power if I was to translate to percentages. Does that make sense? It gives you, it gives that, that, that, that, that something to brace against gives you an extra, something like extra in the tank. So you're telling me don't use it.
Angie Becker: So that's why, well, you're not a competitor and, and I am a competitor and I don't use one either, but the stronger that you are naturally is better than using. I use a belt for the squat because I, you have all of this stuff on, on your shoulders and you're, and you're using the belt to brace, to hold all to that.
Crosstalk: But with deadlifting, a lot of people do wear them, but I found that it affects my ability to maintain my air.
Angie Becker: Okay. So when you see all the girls peeing on the platform, never seen it, never seen the videos. Well, there's a lot of them that do that.
Keith Vance: Michael's over here nodding his head.
Angie Becker: So he's, he's watched them all. Okay. So when you put that belt on, it is compressing all of this, everything. And then you're pushing from the inside out. Right. Right. Well, when you deadlift and you do it conventional, where's your stomach when you bend over? I don't know. It's on your thighs. Okay. So what do you need to brace? You're already braced against your thighs naturally. So when you put on this belt and you press up against everything, it affects your bladder. Okay. It affects your lower abdomen, your intestines. Some people blow out the other end. And for what? When you already have a natural brace. You're in a position of brace. Yeah. Got it. And, and plus most people look extremely uncomfortable trying to deadlift with a belt on.
Keith Vance: But to dead, to squat with a belt is okay. If you're going super heavy. Because you don't bend. Got it. It's to keep you upright. But to deadlift, don't deadlift with a belt. Got it.
Angie Becker: If you're going to go do a competition, then that's on you. That, that's up to you whether you want to use a belt. I don't want to. I don't want to. Piss myself in front of everybody. So I'm not doing one either. The men don't do that. It's the women. All right. It messes with their bladder. All right.
Angie Becker: But you are training to benefit yourself and to look good naked. That's what we call people like you. That they like to look good naked. That's what you guys call me? We just talked about name calling. Because you don't compete. We just talked about name calling. You don't compete. So you just like to go to the gym to look good naked.
Crosstalk: So you're judging me now.
Keith Vance: Oh, my goodness.
Angie Becker: There's three types of people at the gym. Well, there's four types, actually. There's ones that go there to be social. There's ones that go there to look good naked. Then there's the bodybuilders and your powerlifters. That's the four classes of lifters.
Keith Vance: I just want to be strong as long as possible.
Angie Becker: Yeah. So don't use a belt. You don't need one. I won't. If it is too heavy for you to use, then you need to lower your weight and do more reps. Okay. And then after you do that three or four or five times, then you can up the weight and do less reps and see how many you can do. But if it's too heavy, then don't do it. Come back. Do less weight for more reps until you can.
Keith Vance: What's your max bench?
Angie Becker: 315. I got it this year. Last year. Good girl. At 47 years old. Good girl. Yeah. It was, that has been my goal for so long. Really? Yeah. And I don't even know what, I don't, my, I only have one goal right now that I haven't achieved. So I have to make new ones and I haven't figured out what they're going to be yet. But that was, that was the goal that took forever to accomplish. And I remember my one coach that I had before the ones I have now, he used to tell me, I squat like a bear and I bench like a bee. Well, that day I did not bench like a bee because there was like 140 women in the world that had benched a hundred and or 315 pounds. Wow.
Keith Vance: And I'm one of them now. Wow. That's amazing. Yeah. I got to make you feel good.
Angie Becker: It did. And it was, uh, it was, I felt like 315 pounds. It was. You did it. Yeah. So now we go on to other increments, but my one, one goal that we're working on now is to squat 715 pounds. Yeah. That's the current world record is 715 and I want to beat it.
Keith Vance: That's cool. What do you do for, you said that you don't like earlier in the podcast, you said you don't run. Do you do anything for cardio?
Angie Becker: The next time you're in the gym, what's your max deadlift? 415. So do 200 for four sets of 10 and let me know how you feel.
Keith Vance: I already know what that feels like. I know that gets my heart racing.
Angie Becker: Okay. So why do I need to run?
Keith Vance: I'm just asking you, you don't got to get all defensive about it. Hey, listen, girl. If you see this running, you better run too, because there is such a reason. You ain't got to be flexing on me like that.
Angie Becker: But we call it power lifting cardio and it will kick your butt just as much as, yeah. And, and sometimes, uh, when we're off season, which we've not even talked about that, um, I do conditioning training. I, there is never a run anywhere on the paper, but I do have to do, uh, we, we push the sled, we drag the sled, we, um, do step ups. We do bar jumps. We do all that kind of stuff. So, so don't think that all I do is squat.
Keith Vance: It was just a question because, um, it's, I'm interested in, I'm interested in this and I haven't been, like I told you, I haven't been doing any running lately, but when you said, Hey, you ever do some deadlifts and even some squats, like for reps, it, it gets your heart going and I'm breathing heavy. And in my mind, I was afraid, well, I must be breathing heavy cause I've been running enough. That's why I asked the question. You follow me? Well, when you run, all my conditioning must be. Going down. Cause I shouldn't be breathing this hard.
Angie Becker: It's not the same because you have weight. You have to, you have to be able to hold that load and do it that many times. So when I bench or when I squat, I try to hold my breath for like three or four reps. And then when I'm up, take another breath and then hold my breath for three or four reps. Or you could do the little, the little breaths where you take that big, big air. And then you just bring in little breaths in between each set to try to get through it. But, um, you still have all that weight on you that you have to get up and down every time.
Keith Vance: Okay. That helps me. Cause I'm, like I said, I'm always afraid that I'm somehow getting weak in some aspect of my life.
Angie Becker: You cannot breathe through a lift. It doesn't matter if you're doing a five sets of 10 or four sets of four. It doesn't matter. You cannot break that air in between, in the middle of a lift. It will hurt. It will, you will hurt something. You'll tweak this or tweak that, or you'll feel a little hurt. Yeah. I've done it all.
Keith Vance: I want to save enough time. Cause I want to show you my gym and your dress for, I was wanting to maybe do a little session with you real quick if we had time. But, um, is there any questions that I didn't ask you that I need to be asking you before we wrap this up?
Angie Becker: Um, if, if this is a path that you want to pursue powerlifting, true powerlifting, like you want to be a competitor, you will never be able to leave the gym. You will be in the gym until the day you die. Because you have, your body has been accustomed to this way of life and it only functions in this way. It doesn't mean that I need to be squatting 600 pounds when I'm 85 years old. That's not what I'm saying, but you have to continue to work your body the way that I have been working my body for almost 10 years. I cannot just say, okay, I'm done. I'm going to not lift anymore. I, that is not an option for me. It wouldn't be an option for you probably anymore either.
Keith Vance: And I don't want it to be an option. Like we're doing this kind of stuff to be resilient in life. Like I wouldn't want to stop, but you got to like, but you got to look forward to doing it. You got to want to do it. You're not going to want to do it every day, but you're going to want to do it the majority of the time. Right? It's my therapy. It's my therapy. That's why I work out in the afternoon. Cause it dumps my stress.
Angie Becker: Yeah. And, and the words to live by are, if it hurts, don't do it.
Keith Vance: Okay. Especially as you get older.
Angie Becker: Yep. Either figure out a way to do it so that it doesn't hurt or figure out why it hurts or just don't do that anymore. Like people that, you know, tear their terror things or whatever. Sometimes they can't do whatever it was that they tore or use it properly anymore. So do other things, you know, maybe work on stretching and the mobility in that area and just do lightweight, but you can always do something. Yeah. If you stop using something, it atrophies, it dies.
Keith Vance: Yeah. I was going to ask you a question. Uh, we started out talking about some, some heavy stuff, some trauma, some stuff that made Michael bring some Kleenexes in here.
Keith Vance: Do you think that any of that stuff that happened early on and you being into power lifting, moving heavyweight, like what we talked about was freaking heavy emotionally. emotionally. Do you think you're good at what you do now? Because you used to walk around carrying some heavy emotional weight. Do you, do you take any of that and channel it in power lifting? Do you think even subconsciously that might be happening?
Angie Becker: Oh, my gym is my everything. If I have a bad day, I take it out on my weights. If I, I have a punching bag now too. So that, that can also be, I got one. Yeah. That can also be cardio, but I, you know, I've had every emotion there. Cried, laughed, celebrated.
Crosstalk: Yeah.
Keith Vance: So there was, um, my, my wife, where they, they're, they're on the side there.
Crosstalk: Oh yeah, that's right.
Keith Vance: My wife, um, wanted to work out with me.
Crosstalk: And, um, there was one day we're doing some deadlifts.
Keith Vance: And, um, my wife is the hub of this family. She, her will be sitting on the couch and every, and in the space of any, in the space of any given amount of time, these kids are texting mama. She's solving problems for them. Like, like she is the hub and she never stops. She's always just taking care of things. And, uh, I wanted her, like she has certain outlets. She has outlets, you know, this woman's group, she has her own outlets, but I wanted her to experience what I experienced going over to my gym and getting that outlet. I want her to experience it. And she's been resisting me. And, and then she finally came over and we've been trained a little bit, but, uh, we're doing some deadlifts and she's like, like, like, she's like grunting. I said, what's wrong? She's like, it's like, this is stupid. This is stupid. She's like, what? She's like, I'm mad. I'm mad. And, and, and, and I'm mad that I'm mad. So we did some, we did some, Hey, we're going to pick this up. We're going to rest two minutes. We're going to put a little more on. We're going to do it again. We're going to rest two minutes. We're going to do a little more. So we're going to do that five times. And by the third set, you get tears coming down. And, uh, I know what's going on because I felt it. I go over there. I cry. I get, I'm not going to be. Pissed. I get like all those emotions come out and they're coming out. And she's getting, she's getting emotional. She's getting aggravated. She's like, Oh, now it's coming out. Now she's, she's having these emotions. I said, Hey, two minutes is up. Time to get back on a girl. And she's this visceral, this visceral, like, like childbirth. Like I remember, Oh, I remember this noise when my son was born. Like this is kind of like, this is the kind of guttural tones coming out. Yeah. And she freaking drops that weight down. And now it's, now it's all come out. She's having all these emotions shoot through at once. And I said, Hey, you carry too much weight, girl. Yeah. Her, her, when her dad died, we were going through something where I had an employee die and she never got to fully grieve her dad. It's where she's talking about her dad. And like, she carries a lot of weight and pressure and to be able to have a space, whether it's knitting, whether it's whatever, just be able to let it out, let it go. We carry a lot of stuff, especially you women. You, you carry the way of the world. Women like kids don't call daddy. They do. Sometimes they call her mama. They call dad when they need something on the wall or there you go.
Angie Becker: They call mama. Yeah.
Keith Vance: So I would, when you talk about, and I want to see if that was true for you, when you get heavy weight on whether the emotions come out and you said, man, I cry, I laugh, I scream. Cause I do all that too. Where does that come from? Come from somewhere down the side. Those, that stuff that we're carrying emotionally that comes out physically and you got to get it out. That's why people have heart attacks, right? When you don't get it out, you gotta be able to get it out.
Angie Becker: Well, that's why a lot of people don't want to go to a gym because they don't want to get emotional in front of other people. So we're lucky.
Keith Vance: Yeah, we are. You got a bad, you got a bad gym. I like it. Yeah.
Angie Becker: Yeah. It's, it's seen a lot of stuff.
Keith Vance: Yeah. Angie, we're going to wrap this up. Thank you. I think what, what we talked about, especially being a dad of five girls, I got granddaughters, I got daughter-in-laws, what you spoke to, I think is going to carry a lot of weight and help people. We're going to share your company in the, in the link. Um, is there any way someone can get ahold of you? If. Anytime. Pardon me.
Angie Becker: Um, when you post the link, the phone number to the store will be on there. Okay. And, uh, I can give you my email. Will you have my email?
Keith Vance: I have it. We'll, we'll, we'll share that stuff. I just want to ask you first. We'll share that stuff.
Angie Becker: Anybody that wants help or anyone that has thought about lifting or power lifting or just strength training, but don't know where to start. I can, I will help you. If you want me, if you want to join a gym and you want me to come and show you how to use all the equipment properly and how to do workouts or how to do the movements, I can show you all of that.
Keith Vance: All right. Well, we'll, we'll share all that stuff. And again, um, thank you. I know it was painful for you, but I think there was, it was some, some value and I, I learned some stuff. So thank you. I'm going to let you have the final thought, girl, close it down. However you want.
Angie Becker: I've said so many things today.
Keith Vance: I know you did.
Crosstalk: Uh, I guess the quote that's on the back of my singlet, but I can't remember it right now. It's by, um, Muhammad Ali.
Angie Becker: Um, it's something about, I know what it is.
Keith Vance: Cause it's on your Facebook page. Yes, it is. I looked it up this morning. Um, let's see if you can remember it before I find it.
Crosstalk: To be a great champion.
Angie Becker: You, you have to do something. And then if not, you have to pretend to be a great champion. You have to, I don't know why I can't remember it. I have it on the back of all my singlets.
Keith Vance: Here you go. Read it. It's on the top right there. Does that refresh your memory?
Angie Becker: To be a great champion. You must believe you are the best. And if you're not pretend you are, that's right. Yes. And I agree with that. One hundred percent.
Keith Vance: What does that mean to you?
Angie Becker: Well, perception is everything. Perception is everything in life about anything. The way someone perceives you is, is how you look to them. And if,
Angie Becker: this isn't arrogant, so please don't take it that way. But when I walk into a meet, people know who I am. They know I'm probably going to win. And they think it's great, you know, and, and sometimes I don't, you know, I, there's a lot of, um, really strong competitors that are coming up now. And I am getting older, but even still, whenever I walk in. I'm the one that everybody comes to. Oh, hi, it's so good to see you. And they know me and they think I'm going to win or at least come in the top field.
Keith Vance: Do you realize that when we first started out, you're talking about your meet you got coming up and you said after I win it? There is no other option. You said after I win it? Yeah. I don't think that's by accident.
Angie Becker: If you're new to powerlifting and your mindset is to just be better than you were the last time and that can only be your mindset. But it took me five years to win my first meet and it was raw. Some of my records are with knee wraps and some of them are raw. But you have to go with a mindset that there's growth, that things are moving forward no matter what you do, especially if you're new starting out. But for me, I didn't think I'd ever want to meet. I thought I was just going to go and PR and maybe and maybe not. And then I won one. And I was like, oh, I can do this. And that changed me. The first one that I won, it was completely unexpected. They called my name and I was like, what? What just happened? And I like that feeling. Yeah. So especially with my new coach, you know, we try to go for totals more than PRs. If we think that there is a PR potential, we'll keep that in mind. But we have to go for the total because the total is what wins. And the total is your highest squat, bench, and deadlift. It has to be higher than someone else's squat, bench, and deadlift with their body weight.
Keith Vance: Again, all I can say is thank you. You're an inspiration. Thank you. I'm glad that you found your niche and what you do and that you're killing it. Things in life that we don't ask for, hard things, kind of put us on that path. And without those hard things, we might not be having this conversation now. You might not have learned about what you're capable of and what your potential is without overcoming those things that we talked about earlier. They shape us. They make us. And you got just two decisions to make. Believe those voices. Oh, yeah, you're right. I'm not enough. Or you know what? Keep talking. I'm going to keep getting after it. And I'm going to be best at what I do. You are an inspiration. Thank you. And I just can't thank you enough for sharing your story and for being on here. All right? My pleasure. Thank you for having me. I'm going to show you my gym, girl. Yeah, let's do it. Let's do it.
Intro voiceover: Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. Watch me rise my way. Slow growth turns into real change. I found joy in the simple days. In honest work and faith. Still Strong. No.